Newbie here, kinda lost

[sophamoph]

I have felt like a poison to myself and others. I find people annoying and crude and stupid. I know that these people like me, and I do not like them -- so I hate myself. I am trying to see if anyone has gotten rid of these kinds of thoughts? How do I stop hating the world, and myself for being a product of it? It seems like every personal relationship or job or hobby I try, every tool I use to help me forget about this huge ratrace cycle we live in, I cause it to break. It's like my self wants me to know its all pointless... should I believe it?

 

[kgeisel98]

I can identify with the feelings of life being pointless. But if you want to experience happiness a positive frame of mind helps. That means letting go of your negative thinking towards existence.
If I go around thinking how pointless life is with the climate change that is occuring and getting worse it causes me to feel hopeless and pointless.
I guess I'm lucky to have children. They inspire me to work towards mental balance (I have several mental disorders) and improving myself for them. I am a role model after all.

Sometimes it helps to look at the smaller picture rather than getting overwhelmed by the bigger picture.
There are psychological reasons why you feel such hatred towards yourself and others and not wanting to extend yourself to like people. I admit you can't like everyone but you come across as not liking anyone.

Becoming positive takes work. Its catching yourself thinking negatively and coming up with something positive. I don't really like people but I know that is fear based because I'm shy. I do have friends that I like too.
Counselling or Therapy could be very beneficial in figuring out where all this negativity is stemming from. You may find out you are depressed or something.
Don't give up on life! There is so much to experience in life. Sometimes thinking about what you have to be grateful for can change negative thinking.
Good luck sophamoph.

 

[bobby1978]

I got rid of those kind of thoughts by taking on responsibility, faith and realizing that I'm not a special intellect in a rotten world. I'm no more special or smart than anyone else, and everyone else's experience is as valuable, or even more, than mine,.

You could do with a little humility. I don't mean that in a snarky way, but you asked, and it's how I've improved my life.

Nihilism is for spoiled brats. Take on responsibility and meaning will follow.

I'd also advise going to a Church or other faith organization.