New year = Fresh start? Hope so!

So it's the beginning of a new year, even though it is kinda meaningless and arbitrary date I hope this is the start of a new life as the previous 2 years have fucking sucked more than I thought possible...

Anyway, I went to see some family today because I am going to be looking after a lil kitten while they go away (kitten is adorable btw!) and it has kinda struck me how many members of my extended family have been commenting to me about how they have been so worried about me etc because really all I have accomplished in the last couple of years is staggering throughout life in a boring monotone pit of depression where even getting out of bed is even a chore let alone giving a fuck about anything else.

It kinda showed me how my attitude has been so wrong as up until these people saying this to me at christmas my attitude to anyone trying to interfere with my self pity has been 'leave me alone' and kinda alienating myself further...

I really hope I haven't become to set in my ways and stubborn to start fresh this year, I have even done well recently forcing myself to taper off benzos and now they become a thing of last resort rather than first line measure.

Hopefully I can keep it up but my mood is so erratic maybe I'll feel foolish for feeling so optimistic in a couple of days

 

I'm generally not keen on the whole resolution thing, as it is usually set up to fail, and the whole arbitrariness of the date. However, this year I'm taking the line that it's as good a time as any to set in motion small, incremental changes that can then be catalogued and evaluated throughout the calendar year.

Nobody is too set in their ways to change, and it sounds like you're already well on your path. A bit of advice: treat all behavioural changes as a benzo taper. Identify a clear, measurable goal, with clear, measurable intermediate goals, and reward yourself for achieving each of the shorter-term goals. It's the best way to change any behaviour.

Happy New Year to you wooger; and may this year bring you more happiness and serenity than the last two combined.

 

Thank you! Happy new year to you too

I think my first change is going to be doing some volunteer work for an animal charity as soon as I can. I think it will do me a lot of good as I am an animal lover through and through.

Next step after that I guess is at least attempting my finals in May/June, I have been given so much leeway with postponing them because of depression and anxiety and just a bizarre fluctuating mood, I really hope I can do it

but thank you very much for your comments especially the last one, it made me smile a lot You're awesome .

 

Likewise

An addendum: may this be the year that you realize, in your heart of hearts, how awesome you really are.

 

do you have any pics of said kitten??

happy new year!!

 

happy new year!

and unfortunately I don't! I will take some when I look after her tho, she's called Sasha and shes adorable, she is completely grey with a grey lil nose! Can't wait to take custody haha :D

 

yayyy! i love kittens.

 

this one is exceptionally cute! she is so grey she almost looks blue.. if that makes sense...

I will take a pic when I get a chance but dammit I need more pets, they make me happy