New well paying job leading to addiction

[LuvH8Relationship]

I have been an opiate lover since I was about 16 or 17. While I would do them whenever I could get my hands on them, I never got addicted. A few months ago, I got a job as the chief marketing officer at a web design company. It's paying extremely well and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my usage in check. Does anyone have any advice or personal experience with this? I know I just need to be responsible but as we all know it's easier said than done.

 

[Cyc]

I too find I'm most at risk when I'm doing well and feeling good about myself.

When I'm feeling anxious and depressed, and life isn't going well, I tend to stay away from drug use, because it only makes me feel shittier.

I think some people take opiates to mask or hide from their anxiety, pain and depression, and others take opiates to celebrate and reward hard work and success, or augment an already good situation.

But all celebrations must come to an end. This year I've dabbled much more in opiates than I have in years past. Like yourself, I've been a non-addicted dabbler for many, many years. Lately I've really noticed how opiates drag you down mentally, especially when combined with alcohol.

One thing I've become accustomed to doing with any drug is a mental audit after every time I use. This is basically a cooling off period, where I am completely sober and I check to make sure I'm still happy in my own skin. As you might imagine, the verdict isn't always favourable. But this ensures that I'm living life at a steady baseline, even if I stray more often than I should. I highly suggest it.

 

[TheLostBoys]

Do you trust anyone enough to handle your money? Like when you get paid, get enough cash for food & your bare necessities & the rest would go into an account with someone elses name. If you cant take this road, what about putting all your money in the bank & only using a bank atm/check card but then again, you can get enough money out to splurge on opiates.

Imo, if you cant control yourself & you think you are getting out of control, you will need help like I mentioned before or you may be risking your great job.

 

[junkymandan]

<Not relevant in any way to question posed in Thread>

 

[edarrin]

My experience is that I am at the point I am thinking I might have to quit my job. Most people would think that's insane. I'm definitely not most people.

Seems the higher the pay the higher the stress level.

I am trying to stop my coke intake. Every time I get a bit ( bit being the operative word) of 'clean' (meaning marijuanna maintenance program ) the stress leads me back. Time and time again. Plus I can afford it. At least I could. It grows like a weed.

If you are like me and several others I know you are in trouble. Unless you can change some things ( you know what) there is a strong possibility you will reach the 'cusp' where it starts to affect all areas of your life.

Just my .02. Something to think about. Incidently I got into coke because of PAWS from opiates and the need to function. Started with ritalin and soon graduated to coke. Now I often go to work without sleeping. Occassionally for days.

Good luck. Sincerely.

 

[Legerity]

How often do you use opiates? Did you ever have any "rules" in the past for your use or was it just based on availability?

If your use was always kept in check because opiates were not around or you could not afford them, then that will not work now that you have a good job and steady income. Even having rules doesn't guarantee that you will decide to follow them, but at least it adds some sort of structure if you're not going to stop completely.

If you can figure out what purpose the opiates serve for you (i.e. stress relief, etc) then you can also work on satisfying those needs in other ways to avoid falling into a heavy pattern of use.

 

[Wolfmans_BrothEr]

I've had this problem nonstop. As soon as I get a job and start making steady money I'll blow it all on drugs cause I figure "hey I've been working so hard and I get paid again next week anyway I might as well enjoy myself"

The only solutions I could think of would be to either have someone hold your cash, try to get stronger will power, or cut off all ties with dealers so you couldn't call them even if you want to

 

[LuvH8Relationship]

I never really had any rules because my usage was based solely on availability/whether or not i had money. Now that money is not a problem, I definitely need to make some rules for myself. I don't have anyone i trust enough to let hold onto my money, so that is not an option.

 

[captainballs]

I have been an opiate lover since I was about 16 or 17. While I would do them whenever I could get my hands on them, I never got addicted. A few months ago, I got a job as the chief marketing officer at a web design company. It's paying extremely well and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my usage in check. Does anyone have any advice or personal experience with this? I know I just need to be responsible but as we all know it's easier said than done.

I have this problem with opiates especially when combined with work. The two unfortunately go together very well. There's one argument that "as long as you have enough money, opiates are not a problem." And I tend to agree with this, until you move onto the needle. Once the highs are too high, you'll have a problem being consistent at your job because sometimes you'll actually be getting fucked up as opposed to just healthily buzzed with plenty of work energy and spirit.

One thing you have to realize is that until you legitimize your drug use by getting a reliable doctor or addiction specialist willing to write prescriptions forever, you are running the risk of catching a felony and watching your life turn to complete shit in a very short period of time, a turnaround that is very hard to recover from mentally according to people I've known. <Dont glorify use in TDS> it's a hop, skip, and a jump to legal and financial trouble if you don't regulate your use with a legitimate source who will not put you onto different pills, get arrested and cause a halt in the supply, etc. These are the things that will cause the withdrawals, which will make you realize that you are actually incapable at performing at the level your colleagues are accustomed to without opiates, and most of them won't understand and will think that you should seek sobriety at all costs (when what you really need is a cool doctor) and might forever ostracize you and treat you as a second-class citizen.

It's unfortunate, but this planet is run by fucking faggots and you have to deal with them on their terms.

 

[HeStoops2Conquer]

My experience is that I am at the point I am thinking I might have to quit my job. Most people would think that's insane. I'm definitely not most people.

Seems the higher the pay the higher the stress level.

--My opinion is that you are exactly right. Scoot over and I'll take a seat next to you on the 'insane' row . BTW, I am relatively new to Bluelight, very grateful for it, and apologize if I goof on posting.

I have been using for 4 years: my backstory is posted somewhere here. It's been a tough journey. The good news is I have been presented with a new career opportunity that's more closely aligned with my passions for writing, history and service to others. Assuming an actual job offer will come to pass, I will be walking away from 'high pay/high stress/hi-ding my pain'. It's also walking...make that running away from 'friends' who think I'm 'stupid' and 'not being practical'. That's not to say I'm waking up tomorrow with all of my challenges behind me. I struggle everyday, but it's helping me to learn 'who' I am. Thank you and you have my support.

 

[n3ophy7e]

It's paying extremely well and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my usage in check. Does anyone have any advice or personal experience with this? I know I just need to be responsible but as we all know it's easier said than done.

Hey man, I don't have any personal experience with this. But I may have a suggestion...
Do you think it would help at all to have a non-drug-related goal for the money you're earning?? For example, if you booked a holiday, like booked the tickets and accommodation and everything, then you had to put your money towards that instead of drugs...do you think that would help?
Or perhaps if you get a new savings account which you can't actually withdraw money from, and either immediately put a portion of your pay in to it when you get paid, or possibly even arrange for your employer to transfer some of your pay in to that account. Then it's never even accessible for you to buy drugs...
I'm not sure how feasible any of that is for you, but it could be something worth considering??