needofassistance
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2014
- Messages
- 5
Hey everyone. I have been browsing the threads for some time, but this is my first post. As a little introduction: I am 22, happily married, and have a 9 month old daughter. I come from a long line of addicts (not my parents,luckily) and have felt the blood of addiction in my veins since I took my first drink of alcohol. I'm currently in nursing school and am honestly very responsible. I had my years of binge drinking and still smoke cigarettes, but nowadays I'm doing the mommy thing (which is the best thing I've ever done) and school. Anyways... On to opiates...
Even during my binge drinking and pot smoking days I have always been responsible, because, well, I don't want to die. I have had injuries and surgeries in the past and was prescribed hydrocodone and KNEW it was the one drug that I loved. In saying that, I would still take my pills as directed, getting buzzed anyway because I had no tolerance, and once the bottle and refills were up, I was done with it. My husband and I rent my parents guest home at the moment and my grandparents live in the neighborhood as well. About a year ago my grandmother began offering me an occasional lortab (10/500) when I had a headache and that's when it began. I would often go complain of feeling bad just to get a couple pills from her, wait until the evening, and take one to wind down and relax. It wasn't long after this that I learned what a terrible addiction my grandmother has to painkillers. She would switch my grandpas entire bottle out with Tylenol and take all of his too. I then realized my mother gets a Rx of 90 hydrocodone a month. So for the past year I have been taking them from my mother when I can find where they are hidden just to get a couple evenings of relaxation and euphoria. It's been an obsession, but hasn't gotten out of control. I was never taking more than 2 at a time because that was enough. Just recently my grandpa has been prescribed oxycontin and percocets along with his lortab and my father has begun keeping them here so my grandma doesn't take them. I love my grandpa with everything I am and despise my grandma at times knowing she takes what he needs to relief when he is in so much pain. This month I have found myself stealing his pills and this is how I know I am on a dangerous road. I have been taking percocets and hydrocodone together for the past 3 weeks. My dose steadily increases. The past two nights I have chewed up 60mg of oxycontin at a time and this is where I need it to end. I'm going to have a discussion with my mother today and confess. I'm going to ask her to keep pain medication out of the house. I don't want to stop, but I will NOT become like my grandmother or let my daughter and family down. I am guessing I may go through some withdrawal... I just don't know if I will be able to stay away. I really am not sure what I'm asking but I just need some encouragement and advice. I also really needed to vent. Anything anyone has to say will be appreciated. Thank you.
Even during my binge drinking and pot smoking days I have always been responsible, because, well, I don't want to die. I have had injuries and surgeries in the past and was prescribed hydrocodone and KNEW it was the one drug that I loved. In saying that, I would still take my pills as directed, getting buzzed anyway because I had no tolerance, and once the bottle and refills were up, I was done with it. My husband and I rent my parents guest home at the moment and my grandparents live in the neighborhood as well. About a year ago my grandmother began offering me an occasional lortab (10/500) when I had a headache and that's when it began. I would often go complain of feeling bad just to get a couple pills from her, wait until the evening, and take one to wind down and relax. It wasn't long after this that I learned what a terrible addiction my grandmother has to painkillers. She would switch my grandpas entire bottle out with Tylenol and take all of his too. I then realized my mother gets a Rx of 90 hydrocodone a month. So for the past year I have been taking them from my mother when I can find where they are hidden just to get a couple evenings of relaxation and euphoria. It's been an obsession, but hasn't gotten out of control. I was never taking more than 2 at a time because that was enough. Just recently my grandpa has been prescribed oxycontin and percocets along with his lortab and my father has begun keeping them here so my grandma doesn't take them. I love my grandpa with everything I am and despise my grandma at times knowing she takes what he needs to relief when he is in so much pain. This month I have found myself stealing his pills and this is how I know I am on a dangerous road. I have been taking percocets and hydrocodone together for the past 3 weeks. My dose steadily increases. The past two nights I have chewed up 60mg of oxycontin at a time and this is where I need it to end. I'm going to have a discussion with my mother today and confess. I'm going to ask her to keep pain medication out of the house. I don't want to stop, but I will NOT become like my grandmother or let my daughter and family down. I am guessing I may go through some withdrawal... I just don't know if I will be able to stay away. I really am not sure what I'm asking but I just need some encouragement and advice. I also really needed to vent. Anything anyone has to say will be appreciated. Thank you.
