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brainbender

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 10, 2014
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I have been reading and seeking knowledge but just now decided to join up, fuck me, today has included 4 hours of precipitated withdraw, my 1st AA meeting, and now this. A brief on me 37 done the gambit of club, street, natural druggs with a strong love for opiates. Three years ago went to mexico did iboga or it did me!!! Got clean, broke leg, hooked again. Lots of knowledge with bupe, and alot alot of hallucination exp.
 
Hi, I'm the intro above you. Swim has been in the same situation as you. Swim was a fing idiot and had an orange 8mg suboxone pill, thought it was an analgesic, had just done 5 blues, and railed the entire 8mg... 10 minutes later they'd realized their mistake when that sinking feeling appeared, and 5 minutes after that they were projectile vomiting all over the place. Complete waste of $120, soooo pissed. Anyways, Swim has found that the plus side of precipitated withdrawal is that you start to feel better a lot sooner than cold turkey, I guess bc it speeds up the process of dislodging those opiate molecules, so instead of 5-7 days of feeling like ass, it's like 3 days of feeling like you got hit by a bus and lived to tell the story.

I know how tough it is. Swim's been steadily weaning themself off from h for a month now. Down from about a bundle a day, with 1-2 sticks, to 1-2 bags a day and no sticks at all (no sticks for the past 10 days, and only bc swim cant find any). It's really helped ease wd symptoms on the odd days that swim cant cop a bag, for one reason or another. Every other time swim has gone ct, the experience has been soul crushing: hot/cold sweats being the worst, insomnia, diarrhea, stomach cramps, vomiting, sneezing every five seconds, wicked bad temper/ depression, and endless craving. And the symptoms appear like clockwork, by 24 hours the world feels like it's imploding. Now, on the taper, the wd symptoms are extremely mild, no vomiting, there's diarrhea but not every five seconds, onset is delayed... Swim will have to report back on the difference after a few days of ct bc this is only their experience after like 36 hours, haven't jumped off completely yet. Swim will be jumping off this weekend (reluctantly so, but doing it), so if you need someone to talk to, I'll make sure swim gets the message. Best of luck to you!
 
Thanks southpaw, i am at right aroind 47 hours no opiates, sweaty hands, no energy you know the deal. I have subutex so its not as bad as when i have ct'd it, im fucking sick of being sick, the hustle, the chase all that b.s.
I have finally vocalised my addiction not that peeps didnt know but now its out there
 
Brainbender
Welcome , I know the sick-hustle-chase game very well, I lived it a long long time. I've been on subs for 4 years now. In January I have the option to go back to pain management (off probation) which I fully intended to do. After reading your story and others like it , reality set in , I'll be back to chaos in no time. All you newbies have more to offer than you realize. Welcome and thank
you for just putting it out there.

D.T.B.T.
 
Thanks southpaw, i am at right aroind 47 hours no opiates, sweaty hands, no energy you know the deal. I have subutex so its not as bad as when i have ct'd it, im fucking sick of being sick, the hustle, the chase all that b.s.
I have finally vocalised my addiction not that peeps didnt know but now its out there

Brainbender, just checking in to see how it's going? You manage to pass the hump yet? In my experience, if you make it past 72 hours, it plateaus for the most part and then starts to get better. Day 3 has done me in oh so many times, its fing disgusting.

Personally, i tried to jump off starting at 7pm yesterday, but caved for a one-last time deal at eleven pm today, as my boy fronted me a little this and a little that, nothing crazy but enough to convince myself I could party one last time. So I'm forced to jump off when tmy three bags run dry. Luckily, again, the tapering I've done I really think has helped A LOT. And Ive tried tapering before, but seeing my stash or having money in my pocket gets the better of me. Fortunately, the guy I cop from has been limiting me to 2 bags a day, plus I think he steps on those bags extra than he would normally. If this works, I'll come back and post, bc cold turkey a whore. Fuck, not just any whore, the fucking whore of Babylon. Like I said before, by 24 hours all the symptoms have started without a taper, and this time around, its limited to just a little discomfort. I think if I hit 48 hours without any major ct shit symptoms, then I found a doable way to quit, at least not going through physical hell. The only thing that isn't better is the psychological part- my brain is like "get it, whatever it takes" and that is scary.
 
Thanks southpaw, i am at right aroind 47 hours no opiates, sweaty hands, no energy you know the deal. I have subutex so its not as bad as when i have ct'd it, im fucking sick of being sick, the hustle, the chase all that b.s.
I have finally vocalised my addiction not that peeps didnt know but now its out there
Brainbender
Welcome , I know the sick-hustle-chase game very well, I lived it a long long time. I've been on subs for 4 years now. In January I have the option to go back to pain management (off probation) which I fully intended to do. After reading your story and others like it , reality set in , I'll be back to chaos in no time. All you newbies have more to offer than you realize. Welcome and thank
you for just putting it out there.

D.T.B.T.

Beentheredonethat, have you considered getting off maintenance completely? I know for some people, its a necessary evil, gets you out of the cycle and away from the hustle. But it is trading one addiction for another, except there's no good buzz like you'd get on the good stuff. I've read how hard it is to get off of maintenance too, bc those chemicals half-life is so freaking long. I don't touch methadone bc of the horror stories I've read, you know, liquid handcuffs and whatnot. I've tried subs too, but only when there's a) nothing around and I have to go to work without feeling sick and b) to use it a few days to ease into withdrawal. Curious how you feel about maintenance in general, now that im about to kick.
 
Southpaw, it is trading one addition for another except you don't get high. For me it took the chaos out of my life and gave me the time I thought needed to get out of the loop. The plan is to be off by the end of the year, I'm weaning down now. I don't like the way subs make me feel. If I could do it over again I would have done the quick sub detox. When your on subs for any length of time, you don't feel High yet you don't feel clean. Kinda neither here nor there .
definitely stay away from the methadone. I've been there and it's everything you've heard and then some.

D.T.B.T.
 
Southpaw, it is trading one addition for another except you don't get high. For me it took the chaos out of my life and gave me the time I thought needed to get out of the loop. The plan is to be off by the end of the year, I'm weaning down now. I don't like the way subs make me feel. If I could do it over again I would have done the quick sub detox. When your on subs for any length of time, you don't feel High yet you don't feel clean. Kinda neither here nor there .
definitely stay away from the methadone. I've been there and it's everything you've heard and then some.

D.T.B.T.

Beentheredonethat, thanks for the advice, especially now that im jumping off. You confirmed what I've gathered from researching a lot of peoples stories. Please keep me posted on how you are doing with your revovery, it helps to talk about it a lot for me.
 
So, a little over a month and down to a qaurter of a sub daily, my dope man finds out that i am buying my subs from another one of his custies and works a deal tk get me cut off. Fast forward one week im on methadone 40 mg. I will right that wrong at some point! Dick like an elephant And a memory like one too. I know some of you will say " let it go" NOPE, no can do!!!! Any who, the clinic here starts you off at 25 mg. Which is a fucking joke, they allow you to go up 5 mg a day for the 1st 30 days. Im gonna try to stay at 45-50 then go down. Ill keep you posted. This addiction is odd i wanted to shoot my take home red liquid but after reading reviews on blue light ive decided against it. Last but not least Im headed to costa rica in april to do iboga again, more of a spiritual journey than detox(at least at this point)
 
Hey, if you want a support system while you're here I live in Costa Rica. Get in touch through PM if you'd like.
 
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