new to this forum

[lovin morphine]

hello everyone I am hooked on morphine for my illness crohn's, i got a rare case of it 100% full for 20 yrs now, pain every day second, dont remember what its like to not have pain, i have abused all types of meds over the years , im not to bad now, costin too much to get more and making me sick at the end of each month cuz i got nothing left, I made the decision last script day to give my pills to a trusted person and to only give me what im suppose to have but i fucked up twice so far in 2wks into this, 1st i was owed some, i did not know this till they added it another script i had to pick up, so i lied to my friend had to confess the other day when he figured it out, then last nite i got some demerol. i love the burn and the hyper feeling it gives me, planning to get xmas crap done with them, i dont just use painkillers for a high but to kill the pain. but its time to get back on track b4 i make my life harder then it has to be. i would love to get know anyone who is interested, support, advice, whatever, i still aint no angel, 6 months ago i started shooting my morphine, still at it though i dont get what i was gettin a month ago, i was gettin very deep into it, not good, now i wants to inject the demerol i got but i dont think ill get that same hyper feeling im looking for, like when i snort them. anyway i hope u welcome me, looking forward to being part of this site

 

[Jabberwocky]

Welcome. I'm a prescription drug abuser myself, never had a drug problem until I was prescribed painkillers for spine problems. Always ran out early. Anyway Bluelight is great, there are a lot of cool people here and some are really, really smart.

 

[lovin morphine]

I too never had a problem till i was prescribed, that was about 5yrs ago now and i have had my health problems for 20yrs now, use to smoke alot of pot for the pain. I have severe crohn's, and no matter how hard i try, it still controls me, instead of me being in control, this past year has been super bad, this leading to more drug abuse. alot of the time i only take it to dull the pain, but now and then i enjoy the freedom of a good buzz. thank u for welcoming me, it is also nice to know im not the only one in this situation, there are many times i feel very alone and cant tell anyone for the main reason i do need my script of painkillers and others i get, so i just cant fuck that up, leaves me feeling like i am in the dark with this problem, this last 3wks i have been doing very well taking only what is prescibe, had to give them to a nondrug trusted person to only give me whats allowed, but i have had some downfalls already but i try to see the positive that im still doing better then i have been. its a hard life and not always a funtime, being pillsick on top of being sick, sucks bigtime

 

[Felonious Monk]

Welcome. I'm pretty sure I have CD myself and am active in a couple of IBD forums, so I have a least a little bit of an idea what it's like (my disease is not 100% and is on the more moderate side).
That being said, the pain is bad obviously, but do you eat right for your disease?
A bad meal causes me more pain than even the best painkiller can take away.

I hope you can get a handle on your IV habit, that'll take you down a bad road.