Hello, I was diagnosed with depression more than 15 years ago, and none out of more than a dozen prescriptions helped alleviate the core symptoms (anhedonia, slow thinking, low energy, motivation etc). This is why I'm now in this phase of 'unofficial' drug research, as I see myself getting closer and closer to them the more time goes by, and the more medications that fail that I endure.
Benzo have helped, they're the only ones that have made a noticeable dent in symptoms, mainly by making you care less which is definitely a welcome feeling, although not all that much for mood, but even improved mood some of the times. Incidentally, they're also under 'recreational' category. It seems there's a consistent thread through drugs that work and don't work. The ones that don't work are readily prescribed. The ones that do work, are reluctantly or never prescribed, in my experience.
My 3 urgent goals are to find an open-minded psychiatrist, who don't view off label drugs through a lens of needless stigma. 2, is to try ketamine, the latest hit on depression research, and finally not yet another serotonin reuptake inhibitor. 3, to be able to figure out ways to become my own pharmacists, should the other two fail. Have used some alcohol the same way I used to use benzos, on an as needed basis, thanks to the ridiculous stigma about them. I bet most who take benzos aren't dependent. Have also had access to a bit of stimulant powder, which led me to think that an open-minded psychiatrist could be helpful, since stimulants have been prescribed for refractory depression, I just haven't had any luck, seems I get mostly by the book types. Some even refuse older fda approved antidepressants. Why should I waste more of my time.. Btw, I don't mean that I 'need' stimulant powder as in being dependent. Of course I meant that for once in a long while I felt like doing things, even small things, which was closer to the normal state than any prescribed antidepressant has remotely accomplished. I'm well aware of tolerance and addiction, not naïve about them by any means, but I'm now a bit older, and I don't want to die not remembering what normal felt like.
Hopefully I can gather some valuable information on these forums. I discovered bluelight years ago, but wasn't ready yet for serious off label med. research. Btw, if anyone knows where how to locate an open-minded psychiatrist, I'd be interested to hear. So far they've all played it relatively safe, and it's not enough in my case. Especially I think after long term chronic depression a psychiatrist that insists on playing it safe, is basically saying let's keep on trying the same things that you lost so many years to trying without relief, but many side-effects, yet you keep showing up because there are no feasible options, yet.
, lest with time
, makes me mad though to think that when they know depression can lead to suicide, yet refuse to take even relatively safe risks, as in going outside the box. Do they really need a dramatic statement? Jesus christ, makes you wonder if they, even believe that depression is real. Particularly since research has shown that serotonin deficiency doesn't cause depression, they keep focusing serotonin reuptake inhibitors... I don't mean to exaggerate though, it's mainly to make a point about why I'm here. Thanks for reading
.
Benzo have helped, they're the only ones that have made a noticeable dent in symptoms, mainly by making you care less which is definitely a welcome feeling, although not all that much for mood, but even improved mood some of the times. Incidentally, they're also under 'recreational' category. It seems there's a consistent thread through drugs that work and don't work. The ones that don't work are readily prescribed. The ones that do work, are reluctantly or never prescribed, in my experience.
My 3 urgent goals are to find an open-minded psychiatrist, who don't view off label drugs through a lens of needless stigma. 2, is to try ketamine, the latest hit on depression research, and finally not yet another serotonin reuptake inhibitor. 3, to be able to figure out ways to become my own pharmacists, should the other two fail. Have used some alcohol the same way I used to use benzos, on an as needed basis, thanks to the ridiculous stigma about them. I bet most who take benzos aren't dependent. Have also had access to a bit of stimulant powder, which led me to think that an open-minded psychiatrist could be helpful, since stimulants have been prescribed for refractory depression, I just haven't had any luck, seems I get mostly by the book types. Some even refuse older fda approved antidepressants. Why should I waste more of my time.. Btw, I don't mean that I 'need' stimulant powder as in being dependent. Of course I meant that for once in a long while I felt like doing things, even small things, which was closer to the normal state than any prescribed antidepressant has remotely accomplished. I'm well aware of tolerance and addiction, not naïve about them by any means, but I'm now a bit older, and I don't want to die not remembering what normal felt like.
Hopefully I can gather some valuable information on these forums. I discovered bluelight years ago, but wasn't ready yet for serious off label med. research. Btw, if anyone knows where how to locate an open-minded psychiatrist, I'd be interested to hear. So far they've all played it relatively safe, and it's not enough in my case. Especially I think after long term chronic depression a psychiatrist that insists on playing it safe, is basically saying let's keep on trying the same things that you lost so many years to trying without relief, but many side-effects, yet you keep showing up because there are no feasible options, yet.
.
Last edited:
