jetblack86
Greenlighter
meth.I need to be honest, and get it out.. wicked past couple of months.
First off I'm not even sure if Im the right place to be telling my truthful, deceptive story about my use of meth, crystal meth. Am I? I am going to be brutally honest because this will be the first time I've been verbally or cyber-wise I suppose, honest with anyone other than my own mind.
Last Feb. my younger brother invited me over, he said he had scored some cocaine.
We end up doing the drug w my olddo. brother. He and I were snorting it and my younger mixed it w his marijuana.
Well, I tried both ways. Sky and I (older) didn't feel right about the burning, sharp pain shooting through our sinus cavity.
Didn't feel anything for a long time so we just kept doing bump, after bump.
Until there was nothing but the mixed marijuana..
After a couple of hits, it hit me. Boom!!! I was 'tweaked'. When I would stand up everytime I had to hold myself up from blacking out.
So naive and rebellious I know.
I swear I said " this is the best cocaine I've ever had!!"
That night I got home and I couldn't eat dinner. I was doing all sorts of spontaneous cleaning, no negativity got to me. I had all the best ideas for anything my finance was trying to do. "No baby, it okay I can do it!!"
I loved it/ still do. Next day, still feeling it, but shaky and my muscles were twitching.
Weeks went by, my brother's and I came to the acceptance that we did meth.
I didn't crave it, no thought whatsoever.
Then my mom comes back to town. My mother was a meth addict my whole teenage years+.
Ruined our family, lies, deception, thievery and also the dilusional epidosodes.
Of course i told her I tried it, and that I liked it.
We didn't last a week before we decided to get some. This is in March now. So we're dabbling I it here and there.
My come downs weren't too bad. Just muscle cramps all over. Sore from physical exertion. Starving!! I could not and still cannot eat to save my life when I'm high.
I didn't want to even try and smoke it. But I was told my nose would get really messes up if I kept snorting, that's when I started smoking it.
At the time this whole new experience.A friend of mine hada guy living with her. who distributed this drug.
It was right there readily available for me.
My mom (relapsing) was going way too far, again. Smoking wayy too much, freaking out stealing.
That helped me be 'responsible' about it. I would take breaks, detox and the high would be better the next time I decithrto do it.
As of now, my mother and I have a strict relationship because she doesn't know how to control it. For the sake of my relationship, I had to cut the cord.
I was her empath and she is the narcissist.
I always had my friend score for us.
Now, I have my own connections. The feeling in the beginning from meth started to dissipate. So I do bigger doses, was introduced to a hot rail.
I fell in love all over again.
My finance works, and I am A "stay at home mommy".
Yes, my son was with me when I score. No, he's never seen anything that has to do with my habit. My father and brothers don't know anything.
I've never stolen or have done anything wrong to purchase meth.
I love this drug. It is affecting my physical appearance, I've lost over 35lbs since mid- March.
In have gone through paranoia episodes and have noticed all the negativity meth brought around.
I know I'm addicted, bottom line.
-jet
First off I'm not even sure if Im the right place to be telling my truthful, deceptive story about my use of meth, crystal meth. Am I? I am going to be brutally honest because this will be the first time I've been verbally or cyber-wise I suppose, honest with anyone other than my own mind.
Last Feb. my younger brother invited me over, he said he had scored some cocaine.
We end up doing the drug w my olddo. brother. He and I were snorting it and my younger mixed it w his marijuana.
Well, I tried both ways. Sky and I (older) didn't feel right about the burning, sharp pain shooting through our sinus cavity.
Didn't feel anything for a long time so we just kept doing bump, after bump.
Until there was nothing but the mixed marijuana..
After a couple of hits, it hit me. Boom!!! I was 'tweaked'. When I would stand up everytime I had to hold myself up from blacking out.
So naive and rebellious I know.
I swear I said " this is the best cocaine I've ever had!!"
That night I got home and I couldn't eat dinner. I was doing all sorts of spontaneous cleaning, no negativity got to me. I had all the best ideas for anything my finance was trying to do. "No baby, it okay I can do it!!"
I loved it/ still do. Next day, still feeling it, but shaky and my muscles were twitching.
Weeks went by, my brother's and I came to the acceptance that we did meth.
I didn't crave it, no thought whatsoever.
Then my mom comes back to town. My mother was a meth addict my whole teenage years+.
Ruined our family, lies, deception, thievery and also the dilusional epidosodes.
Of course i told her I tried it, and that I liked it.
We didn't last a week before we decided to get some. This is in March now. So we're dabbling I it here and there.
My come downs weren't too bad. Just muscle cramps all over. Sore from physical exertion. Starving!! I could not and still cannot eat to save my life when I'm high.
I didn't want to even try and smoke it. But I was told my nose would get really messes up if I kept snorting, that's when I started smoking it.
At the time this whole new experience.A friend of mine hada guy living with her. who distributed this drug.
It was right there readily available for me.
My mom (relapsing) was going way too far, again. Smoking wayy too much, freaking out stealing.
That helped me be 'responsible' about it. I would take breaks, detox and the high would be better the next time I decithrto do it.
As of now, my mother and I have a strict relationship because she doesn't know how to control it. For the sake of my relationship, I had to cut the cord.
I was her empath and she is the narcissist.
I always had my friend score for us.
Now, I have my own connections. The feeling in the beginning from meth started to dissipate. So I do bigger doses, was introduced to a hot rail.
I fell in love all over again.
My finance works, and I am A "stay at home mommy".
Yes, my son was with me when I score. No, he's never seen anything that has to do with my habit. My father and brothers don't know anything.
I've never stolen or have done anything wrong to purchase meth.
I love this drug. It is affecting my physical appearance, I've lost over 35lbs since mid- March.
In have gone through paranoia episodes and have noticed all the negativity meth brought around.
I know I'm addicted, bottom line.
-jet
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