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New potential relationship has me so anxious and stressed!

Sleaze

Sleaze

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2003
Messages
691
Location
Australia
I?ve never been so anxious and stressed over someone before. i?ve fallen head over heels for this girl and i?m struggling to deal with it... in particular the fact i?m so unsure as to whether she feels the same or not, and it?s killing me not knowing where i stand..

usually i?m the one that wants to take things slow and reluctant to give much commitment, but with this girl it?s completly different and i want the dead opposite.. i just want to be with her and give her everything. fuck, what is going on with me.. am i love sick? or am i just emotionally fucked up..

the thing is, i haven?t known her for very long.. we?ve been messaging for a couple of months and more recently been out together a few times. we?ve slept together and have great chemistry in the bed room. the fee times we?ve slept together and shared a bed we have also been very affectionate to one another....

i think what?s killing me most is the feeling that her feelings aren?t reciprocating of mine... for example, i feel like i want to see her a lot more than she wants to see me.. but then again she is a busy person in general, so doesn?t necessarily mean she doesn?t want to see me?

fuck, i don?t know. the vibe i get from her is neither exceptionally good or bad..

am i just over analysing shit? i just want to relax and be ?normal?, because right now i?m struggling to be myself... it?s like i have this pressure on me to say and do the right things, instead of just letting go and letting what will be, be...

there?s a big part of me that just wants to ask her;
what do you see us as?
do you even consider us exclusive?

they?re the two things i?m dying to know, but i don?t think it?s appropriate to ask just yet, so early on of getting to know one another, it could sell scare her off completely!?

can somebody help me understand how i can just free the mind of all this pressure and anxiety and allow things to take its course, and how i can stop over thinking shit so much?
 
Take a deep breath and have a conversation with her. Those are all good questions to ask. :)

Hey, so I think we have a really good things going here-- where do you see this going? What exactly are you looking for? Relationship? FWB?

These are regular and normal questions at the beginning of relationships.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Take a deep breath and have a conversation with her. Those are all good questions to ask. :)

Hey, so I think we have a really good things going here-- where do you see this going? What exactly are you looking for? Relationship? FWB?

These are regular and normal questions at the beginning of relationships.
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As it turns out i discovered the answers to these questions thru a mutual friend.. and essentially she?s not after a relationship at the moment but did get the vibe i wanted more... i?m happy with just FWB, but she thinks i want more so is probably hesitant with me.. if all she wants is to sleep together occasionally that?s fine - but how do i shake this image of me wanting more...
 
BRO listen to me. Don't let her know u caught feelings. U r gonna fuck everything up if u do that. U gotta show her u caught feelings not tell her. U gotta be cool for long enough that she catches feelings. If u just go all hot headed like OMFG your the best thing ever! She gonna think your a dweeb and move on. She likes u enough to sleep with u so just chill the fuck out. U got this but you gotta keep it cool bro. Just be a real man! Don't act all fake and shit I'm just saying be a good man!! Be sexy be fun be bright and smart and all of that shit and just slowly start getting closer. If u notice she lets u get closer, than get closer, but if she stops u then just stop and relax and wait until she lets u a bit closer.
 
lmao oh wait u already told her and now u gotta shake the image. ROFL im sorry bro had I been a day sooner!! Oh god. Its still ok. What u gotta do. Is make her fiend for sex with u now. Just dont fuck her for a little tiny bit longer than usual.

Damn dawg. In the future bro, all u gotta do is have like more loving sex with her if u want her to fall for u. Try not to talk too much man. Keep my advice. U gonna be a newb and talk and talk and its gonna be a turn off. Just show up, be all sexy and mysterious, try and cuddle. Every girl wants to cuddle. Unless shes all testosterone roided out lmao.

nobody is not looking. Thats a bunch of horse crap bro. THink about it. If the love of your life came around and u were in any situation at all, would u be like "OH SORRY SORRY not looking right now just wanna fuck"
 
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d3athadone said:
BRO listen to me. Don't let her know u caught feelings. U r gonna fuck everything up if u do that. U gotta show her u caught feelings not tell her. U gotta be cool for long enough that she catches feelings. If u just go all hot headed like OMFG your the best thing ever! She gonna think your a dweeb and move on. She likes u enough to sleep with u so just chill the fuck out. U got this but you gotta keep it cool bro. Just be a real man! Don't act all fake and shit I'm just saying be a good man!! Be sexy be fun be bright and smart and all of that shit and just slowly start getting closer. If u notice she lets u get closer, than get closer, but if she stops u then just stop and relax and wait until she lets u a bit closer.
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I'm dealing with this same shit as sleaz and holy shit thank you deathadone!!! This is the best advice for me rn. I needed to hear this. I don't get how I didn't realize this. Fuck I love BL and the people in it.. well most of them any ways haha
 
I'm just glad you told me before I made a fool of myself. My head and emotions we're just spinning out of control about wtf I could say to know if this girls as crazy about me as I am of her but I'm glad I didn't ask. I'll just keep letting the good times roll and play this out. Cause things are going great rn, I'm not about to fuck that up by putting my emotions on blast.

Hey but I hope everything works out for ya sleaz
 
You have feelings for her, she just wants a fuck buddy. I highly doubt there's anything you can do to get her to be more than that. Been there, done that. If she was going to have feelings she'd already have them imo.
 
nuttynutskin said:
You have feelings for her, she just wants a fuck buddy. I highly doubt there's anything you can do to get her to be more than that. Been there, done that. If she was going to have feelings she'd already have them imo.
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i have also had this

some people make u feel crazy connected during sex but couldn't give two shits afterwards

at the same time you wont know unless you lay your cards out to some degree and if then they dont give u what you want at least you put in your own side of things
 
Sleaze said:
As it turns out i discovered the answers to these questions thru a mutual friend.. and essentially she?s not after a relationship at the moment but did get the vibe i wanted more... i?m happy with just FWB, but she thinks i want more so is probably hesitant with me.. if all she wants is to sleep together occasionally that?s fine - but how do i shake this image of me wanting more...
Click to expand...

You have to have that conversation with her though. Why are you getting it from her friend? That's weird. Have a conversation with her.
 
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