shadeyshaun
Greenlighter
hey there
Just joined blue light as it seemed a site i might find others who could just help me avoid a very certain premature death.
On the bright side I am a 40year old attractive seemingly healthy male intravenous heroin addict.
I share the usual addict story started using when i was 13 moved on to the hard stuff 20s very quickly became a chronic crack addict blah blah.
Age 30 I went into treatment did the whole 12step captain recovery thing and cleaned up. After about 5years I went into the rehab business, studied applied psychology and became a very successful addictions councilor at an upmarket treatment center. My clients were for the most part too wealthy or the children of the far too wealthy.The more money I made the less happy I became until eventually I became the very thing I had despised all my life a hypocrite a lying deceiving senior councilor who barked recovery but hid a terrible secret, I was jacking up large doses of smack every day. Long story short I stole and lied myself into a corner and my world came tumbling down with me in the center. I did what any self respecting addict would do .. I ran away.
I went from living the high life in beach condo with V6 ATV s,motorcycles and boats and and to become a street hobo, a junkie sleeping in a graveyard ,begging for his morning fix. Another long story short I have got off the street but not off the heroin, I have been through two awful rather shoot myself next time detoxes but I am desperate, I mean desperate to get clean I was just reading blue lights thread on safe needle and vein guidelines and man I am in trouble. I got nothing to shoot into anymore. I just start jabbing away and pulling back on the plunger in all different spots until I get lucky sometimes I get a rose after 2 or 3 jabs sometimes its 30minutes later I'm in tears and look like i have just had a fight with leopard. I live in south Africa there is no needle exchange program in fact there is no govt program at all. All I want is a sympathetic doctor who will give me a script for a gentle detox, but I can't seem to even find that, they all want to send me to some or the other treatment center. Guys come on I know all the theory just give me a script so I can live legally and stop doing the live pincushion act.
so that's me excuse the slightly emotional melodramatic tone but I am sick and tired of this life.
shadeyshaun
Just joined blue light as it seemed a site i might find others who could just help me avoid a very certain premature death.
On the bright side I am a 40year old attractive seemingly healthy male intravenous heroin addict.
I share the usual addict story started using when i was 13 moved on to the hard stuff 20s very quickly became a chronic crack addict blah blah.
Age 30 I went into treatment did the whole 12step captain recovery thing and cleaned up. After about 5years I went into the rehab business, studied applied psychology and became a very successful addictions councilor at an upmarket treatment center. My clients were for the most part too wealthy or the children of the far too wealthy.The more money I made the less happy I became until eventually I became the very thing I had despised all my life a hypocrite a lying deceiving senior councilor who barked recovery but hid a terrible secret, I was jacking up large doses of smack every day. Long story short I stole and lied myself into a corner and my world came tumbling down with me in the center. I did what any self respecting addict would do .. I ran away.
I went from living the high life in beach condo with V6 ATV s,motorcycles and boats and and to become a street hobo, a junkie sleeping in a graveyard ,begging for his morning fix. Another long story short I have got off the street but not off the heroin, I have been through two awful rather shoot myself next time detoxes but I am desperate, I mean desperate to get clean I was just reading blue lights thread on safe needle and vein guidelines and man I am in trouble. I got nothing to shoot into anymore. I just start jabbing away and pulling back on the plunger in all different spots until I get lucky sometimes I get a rose after 2 or 3 jabs sometimes its 30minutes later I'm in tears and look like i have just had a fight with leopard. I live in south Africa there is no needle exchange program in fact there is no govt program at all. All I want is a sympathetic doctor who will give me a script for a gentle detox, but I can't seem to even find that, they all want to send me to some or the other treatment center. Guys come on I know all the theory just give me a script so I can live legally and stop doing the live pincushion act.
so that's me excuse the slightly emotional melodramatic tone but I am sick and tired of this life.
shadeyshaun
