LayneStaleyLoverNC
Greenlighter
Hey y'all I'm from a small town in NC. Pills became a thing in high school, about 10 years ago, and pretty much everyone was doing them. Then it dropped to only some. And heroin became the new thing for the hardcore opiate users. I personally have mostly done pills, but did experiment with my ex with h on and off for about 2 months. Only ever snorted it, and it was honestly no different than doing roxys or percs. Recently, I quit pills altogether bc my mom found out, and I felt so ashamed. But I had done an amazing job keeping it completely hidden up until she came across a text message while I was asleep on vacation one night, and then there was no point denying it. She had done her fair share of drugs in her younger days, and she didnt have a problem with me experimenting (i led her to believe that was all it was). Well I cut off my only hook up, mostly bc she got on my nerves and started selling me fake shit. Since then (early june 2016), I've found that all I can think about is scoring pills or even h bc it's so much cheaper and goes farther. I even turned to lopes to ease the wds, but it doesn't stop the urge for the true high. I have alienated myself from everyone but my family bc of bad relationships and friendships, completely unrelated to drugs entirely, and I can't seem to get pills/h off my mind. It almost completely runs my mind, 24/7! I know it's bad, and I know everyone is going to mother me and say I'm too young to throw my life away (28) blah blah blah... but honestly, I'm a single white female in rural nc and it's too dangerous for me to try to score. So what the hell do I do? I know of very few people who do the things I did, but usually if you talk to those people (bc it's a small town, eventually everyone knows that you're doing it) word gets out, and I pride myself on being what me and my ex called "completely functional junkies". Don't get me wrong, I'm not PROUD of any of this, and this is the only time I've EVER been honest about any of it, but I have always been proud that I didnt let it rule my life bc I go to work and pay my bills, I just enjoy being somewhat high while working my ass off in this shit life. Anyone have any advice on what to do? Obviously I'd love to just meet some like minded people who aren't so judgemental and could talk openly about these things. Any advice, experience, anything will be much appreciated. I'm not a mother or anything that would make my lifestyle harmful to others around me, so there's no worries there. Just could use a friend with similar interests and maybe background (i.e. from the south, small town, loner, etc)
Thanks for reading my lengthy introduction. ?
Thanks for reading my lengthy introduction. ?
