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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

New mod appointment Sweepstake.

I didn't write the bible, you know. Half of it makes no sense, even to me! They were all stoned and drunk on that homebrew of my lad's.
 
Your boy makes homebrew? Nice. What kind? I used to make a lovely drop o' stout me.

Also, if you could point me to which half of the instruction manual it is that does make sense I'd be most grateful. All I seem to ever come across is... well... drivel frankly :(
 
Wine, you moron! Apparently from water, but they were just too hammered to notice the 'switch'. I believe it's a common magic trick.

I drink G cider.
 
Doh! How could I forget the famous wine trick. Paul Daniels did a similar one only he could give you any kinda drink you fancied. Don't see Paul Daniels claiming to be the Son of God do ya? No. Modesty costs nowt. You could mention that to the boy next time you see him.
 
Ezekiel is a prophesy.. its almost entirely symbolic. Like poetry. Its really not a book that you can cherry pick verses out of. Much like revelations.

This is a good resourse once you get your head around how it works. Biblos. http://bible.cc/ezekiel/4-15.htm.

It'll give you the backgrounds and history of each book, translations, different interpretations, commentaries etc etc.

The whole baking over shit was meant to be humorous to the Jews as well as a warning... its macabre poetry.

Its really worth reading the whole prophesy in context seriously. Get a bible though.<3

PS I'm not voting for God Almighty because I don't think hes the real one.
 
I'm about to shout at him to turn down his bloody flutestep. That stuff really took off, up here. He just loves the attention, but he's sick as a dog, the night after a 'sesh'. Always pinching MY valium. Who do you reckon needs it more?
 
Jess: I know as much about the Bible as I feel I need to thankyou - and that's probably more than the average churchgoer - but it is a thing of morbid fascination to me so thankee for the linkee. Context is king and all that... but that doesn't mean I can't snigger at the silly bits of it. How often do you get to match up the Almighty talking about scat and a Biblical quote about making poo-bread? Gotta take the oppurtunities when you can, no? :D

God: Was just having a lil flick through the instruction manual and came across another lil oddity. I never knew the boy had tattoos. I'm surprised you let him really. Could you clear up a wee issue with the translation though: is it on his thigh or his testicle?
 
Oh I don''t know shambles.. for mercies sake the thigh I hope.

I'm sure you've read a lot of bible btw that was more for anyone else who would like to look at the verses for themselves and come close to some kind of objective conclusion on their meanings.

BTW there are Strongs Hebrew translations on each verse if you want to clarify.
 
Can't really have an objective conclusion can you? But I totally agree. Anyone who's undecided on the whole Christian thing should definitely read the Bible. Probably produced more atheists than any other book in history <3

As for the tattoo, thigh is the most widely accepted translation but testicle is genuinely the other possibility. Why people think it's wise to take any passages from that book literally is utterly beyond me cos some of the variations in translation possibilities are just nuts. Suppose it's a bit harder to quote the gist of summat though.
 
He's covered in them, mate. Went a little bit crazy with the ink, I think. Crosses with 'Me' written under them, and all sorts. I wouldn't want to see his hairy nut sack, so I can't be certain. I think he's going through a bit of a phase, you know? He needs a job, I know that much. Every time I threaten to send him back down to you lot, he just does a disappearing act. Literally. My new missus is not impressed that he's still at home, after 2,000 years.
 
New missus? Ah! So that's why all the Asherah poles had to come down. Rough break-up was it?

As for tattoos, if you happen to catch him coming out the shower have a lil looksee at what is Revealed...

And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. Revelation 19:16
Click to expand...

Modesty again 8)
 
It's time for me to get back to all that God stuff now. I will try and visit again, if my connection allows it (my ISP are being proper arses, if you pardon my French). I hope your new mod is a fair and giving mod. Goodbye, Bluelight! Take it easy on the old furry rugs, aye? :)
 
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