New member to Bluelight....long time reader...need help

[Jules626]

Hi All,

I have been reading posts on bluelight for quite some time and thought it was time I registered and posted myself. I am in a pretty dark place right now. 7 years ago I fractured my spine. I was prescribed oxy for the pain but didn't take it for long. The pain came back really badly a year later and all the medications prescribed to me weren't doing any good - I had asked for something stronger and although they didn't treat me like a junkie it was not an option to them. I got oxys from a friend and it was a miracle and I've been doing this ever since. I wasn't missing weeks of work at a time, my anxiety was gone, I was sleeping and the pain was no longer. As you all know...this is how it starts. To get to my question. Should I go to my doctor and just be honest about whats happened and get help quitting, anyone have experience with this? I don't want to be looked down on. Also, there's a addiction center near my place that provides methadone & suboxone treatment...is this my best option? I'm currently taking 12-14 5mg per day. Withdrawals are my biggest fear. My anxiety attacks come back before I'm even out of pills. I hate that I let myself fall this low.

I know that there are probably many posts like this out there but I think I needed to get it out myself - going to lose the love of my life soon if I don't get my life in order.

Could use any help or advice - thanks

 

[24hr2go]

I hate that I let myself fall this low

the only way is up buddy. however when one is in a dark place, this can rarely been seen or even imagined. but its there. just remind yourself once and a while

Drs can be great or they can be dicks. My personal dr relationship is great i tell her everything and anything which i believe to be relevant. she was not the first dr i found i have been through a handful.

you can be the only one to try and judge the outcome with the dr, as you have first hand experience with him/her. a good dr will not judge, look down etc on a patient. if this happens i would seek a new one.

have you ever gone a period of time with out taking meds before?

perhaps asking for some advice on here about tapering your self off, i am sure guys and gals have done this here.

you will need to find out all your options, only you can make the decision in which route to go. however you might be wrong the first choice, hey if you are dont worry just try another one. nothings ever straight forward. persistence is the key here

hope i helped a tiny bit somehow,

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Welcome to Bluelight!

 

[Jules626]

Thx for your help. Trying to do a pretty fast taper right now and it's not going so well. I came clean to my bf tonight and might be on my own now. Not looking forward to doing this alone. Might go see my Dr this week for help. I trust her...have just had bad experiences in the past. Wish me luck

 

[downerhead]

Be careful with telling your doctor about taking medications that aren't prescribed for you.A lot of them will immediately toss you in the "junkie" pile and refuse to give you anything helpful.I would just mention that you were prescribed oxy before and it worked.Then you can begin the process of jumping through hoops to get your meds tweaked to an appropriate dose of the right stuff.Fast tapers are no way to go.Slow and steady is the key to not having to suffer though it too much.Welcome to BL and hope this helps.

 

[Jules626]

To update...I went to the doctor and she switched me to hydromorphone. I still had horrible withdrawal symptoms the first day I took it. I also realize this is another opiate but it is often used to get you off the current one and do a quick taper on a different one, apparently. Since I was experiencing symptoms anyways and didn't like how it made me feel I didn't take any today. I felt fine all day except for the restless legs. I just cracked and took one so I can sleep. Am I doing this all wrong? Taking another opiate? Isn't that just going to put me right back where I started? Or if I just take it at bedtime will it be easy? I'm literally only taking 2-4mg even thought she said I could take it every 4 hrs. Any thoughts? Or any otc that helps with rls?

 

[Addict3dtodillys]

Oh.... never admit to taking someone else's drugs... A doc will treat you differently... you will get drug tested and pain contracts...

Sad, took two norcos then got tested two days later... my doc grilled me when the test was postive. I told her she could retest me because it had to be a false positive... I passed that test but she now requires me to test every two weeks...

 

[Jules626]

She didn't care. She just wants me to get off oxy. I don't care about drug tests because I'm not taking them anymore. I just want answers to my questions

 

[crazybollweevil]

Maintenance meds for a 60mg oxy habit would be trading a relatively mild addiction (though I know it still sucks, not judging) for a worse one. Quitting either methadone or subs would imo take a longer taper and be more difficult symptomatically. The advice for slow taper is the way to go.
I wouldn't tell your doc if this wasn't your prescription. It may seem great to be forthright and need help, but in today's climate you will certainly get a junkie-label in your file, and this will make all manner of future medical treatment difficult. You will not only have trouble getting opiates if ever needed, but you may be prevented from anything that is potentially habit-forming. This may seem fine if you are avoiding addiction now, but If shortterm benzo therapy, or pregabalin or something similar is ever needed, it would be a ridiculous hassle. The medical community has been developing hair-trigger intolerance to controlled drugs, to the point avoiding obvious and effective treatment.

 

[Addict3dtodillys]

I agree 60mg of oxy is just a warm up dose for some of the folks here that are struggling with addiction. With that said you are in a similar situation to me... back injury and scared as hell to go through withdrawl.

Suboxone or methadone... nooooo! I was sent to an addiction treatment doc because my primary care doc stopped me cold turkey after epidural blocks and cortizone. One day later I'm in the er.. massive withdrawl. My blood pressure was 200/118... I couldn't stand massive diaureah and vomiting... 3 days if he'll before the addiction doc scolded my doc for being rediculos. I started from a 20 mg taper per day. -2 mg a week until I'm done. Right now I'm down to 10mg. I am.having minor withdrawl. I am adjusting well.

I was taking 20.to.26 mg of dilautid a day. It was strange how quickly my body became addicted to it.

I saw some folks that were in n the suboxone clinic and man... I was in tears for them..

Not worrying about drug tests, well if you are being perscribed narcotics then I'd worry. You don't want notes on your file. It can be some serious stuff.

Dilautid did nothing orally, shooting it took it to an entirely new level and sickness. I've had oxy.. took two 30mg and it doesn't come close to 10mg of dilaudid in the vein.

I hope I can be helpful. The last 5 months have been full of bullshit and poor medical care. I'm not even a drinker and here I am shooting shit in my veins...today is my last iv shot... tomorrow its back to oral. I'm also on clonodine and zofram to help the shits and the nausea...

I'm 20% of the worst withdrawl I felt right now even with 10mg of dillys...
Shit is 8 times stronger than morphine... no joke.

 

[Addict3dtodillys]

I read your post wrong about drug testing... sorry.

They can test to see the am out of drug jn your system to see if you are abusing it.

So she wants you off oxy sho she perscribed a stronger drug....
Maybe because the dilaudid Half Life is shorter... I dunno.

 

[Jules626]

Well in case anyone cares for an update...today is day 4 cold turkey with a full bottle of hydromorphone pills and I don't even want them. I smiled several times this morning...and cried at songs in a movie lol. Where are these emotions coming from. I know it's early but I'm pretty excited right now. Yesterday was pretty bad and I almost gave up. A couple ppl said I should go see the doc again and take the meds she gave me so I could sleep...but mind over matter I didn't. Slept 4.5 hrs and actually got up to make breakfast...first food in 5 days! Thank you for all your posts! I know my intake seems low to most but I have a history of depression, anxiety and mild OCD. My withdrawals are equivalent to someone at higher doses. I would have a bottle of pills 150 deep with a guaranteed refill in 3 days and the panic would begin.
As to comments about medical professionals etc...I don't know where you all are but I'm in canada and my doctor was so great to me. Didn't judge, held my hand and was sincere. I honestly think she and my wonderful bf made me get through this! And the million times a day I would be on this site hahaha.
Anyways...enough said. Thanks again to you all!

 

[Jules626]

Haha no worries. Apparently although it`s stronger it is less addictive because it doesn`t give you as much of a euphoric feeling like oxy. Probably why I had no interest in taking it haha...why get addicted to something that doesn`t alter your state. I`ve heard it`s common to switch the addicts DOC and begin a quick taper on the new drug before your body adjusts. Either way...whether her theory was crazy or not it worked.