New member, long time cross-addict

[Grateful41]

Hello, Everyone I hope you all are doing well today. I am on day 5 of a heroin detox and I am just trying to stay positive. I felt a lot better mentally yesterday & I was able to mow the lawn, go for a walk and get some stuff done but today, day 5 I have no motivation, no energy, and I feel incredibly lethargic. I started as an alcoholic at age 21 and all the warning signs were there before. 7 years later I have been to 3 rehabs for alcohol and then after 9 months of sobriety out of rehab. I tried heroin and I was hooked within a week. That's all I wanted to do for the last year & it was by far the worst year of my life. At the end I couldn't even recognize myself. I hated myself but the thought of going through withdrawals kept me using even when I wanted to get clean. 5 days ago I was a broken man, I couldn't imagine living life sober. Day 2 & 3 I almost couldn't take it, so my wife got me some weed & that has helped tremendously. Day 4 I felt 10 times better physically and even felt some joy and hopefullness. I didn't sleep the greatest on night 4 but I probably got 4 hours. Today like I said I am just trying to stay positive & not overwhelm myself with all the things I need to get done, like get a job. I keep telling myself that I have a disease and I need to take it slow and just remember the hell that I have just sweated, shook, cried, and threw up to climb out of. I know as long as I stay clean & form a good support group I can do this. I have been to AA and NA and I plan on starting meetings tonight. Any other suggestions would be much appreciate it. God bless you all and I hope we can live drug free just for today.
Love,
Grateful41

 

[Uk-lad]

Im on day 3 of an oxy habbit of insuflatting 350mg daily, withdrawls every morning until i run strip a pill crush and snort it. Then im ok, no euphoria or good feelings anymore just pain and misery.

Anyway like i said im day 3 into my oxy withdrawl, i have had no diareha thanks to immodium (12mg) and taking 1mg clonazepam every 4 hours.

I took 8mg subutex on day 1 and didnt need it last night, so today i though no hold out, so im near 48 hours without any more subutex which i find odd, but i dont want to get on that stuff if i dont feel i need it.

Problem is, i relapsed cut a line of oxy out went to snort and nearley cried and blew it away, ran the toilet flused 18x40mg oc oxys.

Now my mind is in overdrive, basically flushed £200 away, but i dont see it as that.

Im hoping tomorrow i feel better, as i habe lost 3 stone in 6 month, i used to be a big drinker, in respect of every weekend after work, so friemds think somethings wrong with me, i hate all the lies.

My mind is so depressed right now, im hoping physical withdrawls disapear before next saturday as im off to the races with family.

Anyway hope you go ok.