js.ninelives77
Greenlighter
I am 38 yrs old and have been using drugs of one kind or another for more than 2/3 ofmy life. I was diagnosed with ADHD at aage 10 and was prescribed dexedrine and ritalin. Of course it made me able to focus on my schoolwork and made life easier for my parents and teachers to handle me. Tests showed I am blessed with an above average IQ and being bored with school didn't help. I never felt like i fit in with the other kids and my hyperactivity and behavior problems alienated me even more. I am an only child, adopted at four days old. Looking back, I think that I was "taught" that I needed to take a pill to be normal. I loved the feeling of extreme focus and energy that speed gave me and it didn't take long for me to start snorting the ritalin. My hobby was wrenching on old jeeps and i pursued a career in welding. I spent endless hours in my garage all "wired up" building and tinkering with my jeeps. I started working as a structural steel erector (walking high steel) the adrenaline is AMAZING. I have been doing it for 20 years now. Ironworkers are a crazy bunch as you can imagine. I was introduced to crank at about age 20. WOW. I actually stopped the speed completely at age 24 because I knew it was destroying my body and I haven't touched it since. In 2006 I fell 25 feet and suffered some severe injuries. I was sent home from the hospital with a ton of opiate pain meds, not knowing a thing about withdrawl and with no kindof pain management. Shooting heroin was soon to follow...nuff said. I managed to get clean after serious struggling. I fell again in 2012 with even more severe injuries. Shattered pelvis, elbow and wrist, broken vertabrae and ribs, ruptured spleen, etc. Addicted to opiates again. When I finally got out of the hospital I was on 240mg of oxy a day, soma, and valium, which I sold to buy heroin which I prefer. I recieved a sizeable settlement thru workers comp which of course i blew through in no time. I am working part-time just scraping by. I want more than anything to have my life back but I am stuck in the cycle of addicton. I can't go back to hanging iron unless my urine stays clean. My life and my co-workers lives are at risk if I am under the influence on the job. I am at the end of my rope....I am really depressed, indifferent, and apathetic. Lately the word of the day is usually FUCKIT. I don't know how I've managed to stay alive this long. Hence the name ninelives. One thing I can say is that my karma is good. I don't rob, cheat, or steal. I take a lot of pride in treating people right and being an honest person. Sometimes knowing that is all that keeps me going. Thats all for now.
