bigtimegeek
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2016
- Messages
- 1
Hi all,
Just signed up, though I've been using Bluelight to answer random questions for a couple of years now I guess. Great site!
I'm currently hopelessly addicted to Suboxone. I will start off by saying I think it gave me my life back in January 2015 after abusing all the various opiate painkillers and then snorting heroin for a couple of years. But at a certain point earlier this year (2016), probably Jan/Feb, I felt like it started to change me and my personality. Slowly but surely I've become very withdrawn, antisocial, depressed, unmotivated, lacking any energy, full of anxiety, unfocused, and super moody and irritable... yet still obsess over taking my doses every day. It's gotten worse and worse, and I know it's because of the medication. I don't think anyone -- unless they have had a hardcore lifelong addiction to injecting heroin or some similar extreme situation -- should be on Suboxone this long. Unfortunately the doctor that inducted me on 16mg a day was of the mindset that I should take as much as I want, for as long as I want, and if I'm on it the rest of my life, that was just fine with him. I believed it for a while. Keep in mind that while I was a total opiate fiend, we're talking about a 100-120mg of Oxy or 5 bags of dope a day (just snorting) at my worst. In hindsight I could have probably stabilized at 8mg or less.
Fast forward to today. I'm honestly not even tempted to use anymore. I've been in outpatient rehab programs for almost 2 years and am currently going to one. I have zero desire to go down that path again... I know I can't. My marriage is in shambles (we just separated), I've drifted away from almost all of my friends and even my family. I just started opening up to my mother and a couple of other close people to have more of a support system, but I need to get off this shit. I've managed to slowly taper down to 1.5mg, but it's a daily struggle. Even yesterday I had a fight with my partner and wound up taking 2 extra milligrams. I really don't think I can taper off completely on my own. I'm trying, but keep slipping.
Which gets me to my big question: Does anyone have experience with short-term (ideally 2 weeks or less) inpatient programs that specialize in medically-assisted Suboxone detox? Can anyone recommend a place? It can be anywhere in the country, and it doesn't need to take insurance. I am investing in the rest of my life, so I'm not going to go cheap on this. I don't need luxury, but a private room would be nice.
I've made the decision that I need to do this, and need to get it over with sooner than later. I'm not looking for the "rapid detox" which sounds horrible and dangerous, but I've seen a bunch of stuff online about places that will get you off in 8-10 days or so. I'm thinking of tapering down to as low as I can go in the next month, probably down to .25mg, and then jumping in a detox program. It's going to suck no matter what, but I want to be surrounded by people and doctors that know exactly how to specifically handle Suboxone detox and withdrawal. It's just not like other opiates...
So if anyone has had a good experience with this, or knows of anyone who has had a good experience, I would really appreciate some suggestions. There are almost *too* many options when you Google this, and every place I've called seems to just be telling me what I want to hear, and I don't trust their motives. It's extremely hard to find any reviews or feedback about rehabs and detox programs in general, so any help would be awesome!
I know that's a lot to throw out on my first day here -- I'm going to poke around the forums and see what I can find, but it's a lot to wade through.
Thanks!!!
Just signed up, though I've been using Bluelight to answer random questions for a couple of years now I guess. Great site!
I'm currently hopelessly addicted to Suboxone. I will start off by saying I think it gave me my life back in January 2015 after abusing all the various opiate painkillers and then snorting heroin for a couple of years. But at a certain point earlier this year (2016), probably Jan/Feb, I felt like it started to change me and my personality. Slowly but surely I've become very withdrawn, antisocial, depressed, unmotivated, lacking any energy, full of anxiety, unfocused, and super moody and irritable... yet still obsess over taking my doses every day. It's gotten worse and worse, and I know it's because of the medication. I don't think anyone -- unless they have had a hardcore lifelong addiction to injecting heroin or some similar extreme situation -- should be on Suboxone this long. Unfortunately the doctor that inducted me on 16mg a day was of the mindset that I should take as much as I want, for as long as I want, and if I'm on it the rest of my life, that was just fine with him. I believed it for a while. Keep in mind that while I was a total opiate fiend, we're talking about a 100-120mg of Oxy or 5 bags of dope a day (just snorting) at my worst. In hindsight I could have probably stabilized at 8mg or less.
Fast forward to today. I'm honestly not even tempted to use anymore. I've been in outpatient rehab programs for almost 2 years and am currently going to one. I have zero desire to go down that path again... I know I can't. My marriage is in shambles (we just separated), I've drifted away from almost all of my friends and even my family. I just started opening up to my mother and a couple of other close people to have more of a support system, but I need to get off this shit. I've managed to slowly taper down to 1.5mg, but it's a daily struggle. Even yesterday I had a fight with my partner and wound up taking 2 extra milligrams. I really don't think I can taper off completely on my own. I'm trying, but keep slipping.
Which gets me to my big question: Does anyone have experience with short-term (ideally 2 weeks or less) inpatient programs that specialize in medically-assisted Suboxone detox? Can anyone recommend a place? It can be anywhere in the country, and it doesn't need to take insurance. I am investing in the rest of my life, so I'm not going to go cheap on this. I don't need luxury, but a private room would be nice.
I've made the decision that I need to do this, and need to get it over with sooner than later. I'm not looking for the "rapid detox" which sounds horrible and dangerous, but I've seen a bunch of stuff online about places that will get you off in 8-10 days or so. I'm thinking of tapering down to as low as I can go in the next month, probably down to .25mg, and then jumping in a detox program. It's going to suck no matter what, but I want to be surrounded by people and doctors that know exactly how to specifically handle Suboxone detox and withdrawal. It's just not like other opiates...
So if anyone has had a good experience with this, or knows of anyone who has had a good experience, I would really appreciate some suggestions. There are almost *too* many options when you Google this, and every place I've called seems to just be telling me what I want to hear, and I don't trust their motives. It's extremely hard to find any reviews or feedback about rehabs and detox programs in general, so any help would be awesome!
I know that's a lot to throw out on my first day here -- I'm going to poke around the forums and see what I can find, but it's a lot to wade through.
Thanks!!!
