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New Member how's everyone doing ?ydromorphone ad 30tabs of 16mg er

J

Jonleeb

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Joined
Dec 14, 2016
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New Memberupdate on recovery

Well I'll keep this short, Lol..
ive followed Bluelight for a while now, always interested in people's personal experinaces in opiate withdrawal and abuse.
i guess I wanted to justify my addiction essential that bad and if I wanted I could stop, yea right..

Any way I moved to Florida from the Uk in2015 having been on opiates all of them at some point after a serious motorcycle accident in 2009, the UK is really lax compared to the US, however I had legitimate pain, but the drugs would just mask deeper mental problems from military service , yep nothing new.

however moving forward I'm pretty much addicted to opiates currently Hydromorphone I go through my script in a week then withdrawal for 3 typical addictive behaviour, I've kept this from my family and just started using alcohol 500ml of vodaka daily to combat withdrawals, which I know is not the answer but the disease of addiction just takes over the strongest of minds.
my doc is prescribed 90 4ml tabs of IR Hydromorphone and 30 16mg exalgo they are gone in 10 days, yea it sucks.

im a veteran of withdrawal but how long can I keep doing this before it destroys me and my wife, yesterday I took 30 8mg/500mg codiene, paracetamol to lessen the withdrawals, shit I'm risking overdose so easy, today my stomachs fine but i know my life's becoming destructive, I've taken Loperamide to help with withdrawals as I've seen on here and tried in the past which works, but I just need out of this shifty 7 year cycle.



Firstly thank you to all the support so far from the great people on here I've made friends and heard some really inspiring stories of the strength of the human soul.

so it's now been 9 days opiate free, not Been easy, the physical withdrawals I can manage, I have been through withdrawl multiple times to know it's not going to las forever but sucks.

im now regaining some energy, not lots but a little, I have to physically force myself to exercise, I have a spinning bike in the garage, but even though it's there it's still difficult to motivate myself, I know endorphins will eventually come back to our chemically imbalanced brain, but this was more of a goal I set myself.
No matter how bad I felt mentally just exercising once was a step in my recovery, and helped with the god dam RLS, we know how that sucks.

i did see my doc as I said in my last post, she gave me some Ambian CR for sleep, and I have to say it's so helpful in getting that much needed rest, I had used the non CR in previous withdrawals but did sweet nothing and always woke up after 2hrs of taking it and never ever managed to go back to sleep, but so far the CR Ambian is giving me a few more hrs of sleep

so anxiety is still lingering and mood swings which is expected so early in recovery, but for me it's always been the mental depression that made me relapse, so wish me well and I'll update you as things progress.

ooh and by the way now my appetite is still poor even though I'm pretty much over the physical withdrawals.


Stay strong you great people, you all have such amazing hearts and souls to help other people.
 
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Hello, Jon. Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you are going through challenging times - I do not have direct experience but I imagine someone will post soon to help guide you with suggestions. Meanwhile, welcome and you have my support. =]
 
Welcome John! Although I have an addictive personality and can become addicted to almost anything opiates thankfully isn't one of them although I have tried many times throughout the years and I can't find the line between getting high and sick. It usually just gets me sick. I've been scared to try injecting heroin because of the horror stories I hear. I feel your pain and good luck
 
Thanks for the support Pandas, I'll figure this crap out I'm sure, I know where i need to be and this is Day 3 of been clean from opiates yah.. not through choice but it's better than using right.

stay safe & strong
 
Hey what's up Beef...

Thanks for the reply, I figure I must have the same, if I take anything or do anything it's always all or nothing, I think that's my downfall using anything that messes with the brains mojo ha ha...

Anyway day 3 clean from opiates, ran out of meds so maybe this time I'll figure this thing out and have a sober 2017.

Oh and welcome to the board by the way.
 
That's awesome congratulations! It's all about finding something that makes you happy. For me it was the gym or losing weight I knew that the only way I could do it was to live that lifestyle. I hate to say it's a trade-off but cold turkey is definitely difficult. try to focus your energy elsewhere. Stay positive and awesome day 4 here you come!
 
Hello Jon, welcome! I am also new to blue.
Indeed These sound like challenging times but, as corny as it sounds the first step is always realizing you have a problem and wanting to fix it.Lets be real, Sometimes will power alone is not enough and seeking help from a professional is your greatest bet to fight addiction. Maybe it's time to be honest with your doctor as you are with us. He is basically your supplier right? Im sure if he knew u were abusing he would stop the script and hopefully refer u somewhere for help. But if that is not possible for u at least a support group/forum like this can be a great means to vent and talk to others about management of withdrawal symptoms.
Maybe when u feel the need to use, instead of using, remove yourself from the situation that induces your need to relapse and find a comfortable place to come vent and talk to others here on the site. It can be a way to occupy your time while also working through and facing your addiction by talking about it.
Going cold turkey can be very difficult but as beef said if you are doing it on your own maybe try replacement therapy and find another activity you enjoy doing that triggers a similar rewarding feeling.Having a healthy diet, lowering stress, as well as any type of exercise and good ol vitmnD sunshine are great ways to boost the feel good hormones and hopefully take the edge off any withdrawals u may be feeling.

Its not wise to replace one drug for another in order to quit, but I've noticed weed tends to be an exception. If your pain is overwhelming a strong edible often can do the trick in alleviating pain,and weed tends to not be "addictive" and you cannot OD. I have no personal experience with pain killers but I know weed can help with pain management and maybe can help you as you detox your body from other substances.

Whatever you do try not to use because 3 days can easily turn to 6 and so on. Sometimes if I find myself wanting to reuse a drug I know I'm trying to come off of, I will trick myself and keep putting it off and do "just one more task" until I've come to the end of another day of successfully not using. It's all about finding a healthy balance without drugs that works for you. Feed your willpower and not your addiction and you will be on a strong road to recovery.

Good luck
~*Jeree*~
 
Hi Jeree,

Thank you for your kind words, day 4 today no urge or cravings yet ha ha, but they just creep up on you, I've thrown myself back into exercising, managed to cycle a little last night hoping it would flush my brains with the good old endorphins and take my mind off things, it helped so that's cool.
Living in sunny Florida vitamin Ds such an easy thing to get Lol..

ill keep you posted and and thanks for your support.
 
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