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roytoddleston

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Mar 31, 2017
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First some quick background: I have been a very heavy drinker (almost but not quite 24/7 drunk) for around thirty years - the majority of my life - and obviously have developed a very high tolerance. I quit drinking entirely for four years when I got a Xanax scrip, but my doc cut me off because tolerance required me to constantly ask her up the ante over the years. That was in 2010. Since then I've been drinking constantly again and have added stimulants to the mix, having been on either crystal or cocaine almost (but not literally) all the time depending on what's available. The only thing I never messed with all this time is opiates, but two days ago my dealer gave me a tiny bump about the size of a dot made on paper by a large sharpie. Since then I've had only one of the same size about every four or five hours and I definitely don't feel like i need any more, but I'm still drinking and using powder or crystal all the time.
Now the question: Obviously, I realize the dangers of all my lifestyle choices; I don't really care to live long enough to be an old man and expect consequences in terms of longevity. However, I'm only 41 and am not ready to die just yet. If I keep the H doses at this ridiculously small size and continue my other habits in this type of cocktail, am I likely to die? I'd very much appreciate advice since opiates are entirely new to me.
 
...seems weird to reply to myself, but I thought I should add that my typically high level of sweating has gotten crazy intense off-and-on since I delved into the "final frontier." I don't know if that info helps anyone with a response but I figured it's worth mentioning. Despite the sweat, though, I feel awesome.
 
Seeing no replies and rereading in the afternoon versus 1:00am after a full day of intoxication, I'm wondering if part of the reason is a lack of believability in my story. If I were not me and reading these posts, I would have a couple suspicions, so I'll try to address them. First - if you do the math between my age and the years I've spent drinking, you realize I started at age eleven. I realize this is very young, and I don't mean to imply it was "Morning-till-Night" back then, but it is indeed the age at which I started. I think of them as the "golden years," the time when I could take two or three sips of 80 proof and be good for hours and hours. The habit built up gradually, a process I'm sure any other addict understands. Second - I'm sure you're wondering "where did the money for all this come from?" Well, I'm ashamed of the answers but sincerity is my last remaining moral so I'll tell you. About 60-70% has been from enabling parents, siblings and friends. I'm one of those losers who still live with my parents as a full-grown man. About 30-40% has been from theft. I'm not defending this and it's embarrassing to admit, but it is what it is. And the remaining 10-20% has been from my feeble attempts at dealing myself, something I suck at because I lack the self-control to hold onto a product any longer than a day or so before using it myself. Finally, some might be questioning the phrase "the only thing I never messed with." Of course, I realize alcohol, benzos, coke and crystal are not the only drugs in existence. I didn't bother to mention weed because I barely consider it a drug, and I suppose that in my intoxicated state I didn't feel it necessary to mention I've never used hard hallucinogens or dissociative (though I did go through a beautiful eight-month E stage before losing the connect.) At any rate, I've continued the new H habit but MIGHT consider cutting it out if someone with serious experience could give a logical argument for why it'd make me any more likely to die within the next ten years or so. I doubt I'll post again if I hear nothing, but not out of any type of resentment or contempt. The internet isn't typically my thing, but I found this website and thought I'd try to seek out advice before adding this severe new addition to my repertoire. At any rate, Harm Reduction is an admirable idea and I respect bluelight regardless of whether anyone can help me.
 
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Hi there, you have to understand that the moderators of the forums are all volunteers and it may take them a while to respond. Also as this is primarily used for people to say hello it doesn't get as much traffic as other sections.

Normally people would post a quick hello and then move to the relevant section instead.

I'm not really sure what your asking - can drinking heavily, abusing stimulants and using heroin lead to an early death ? Yes they can.

The problem with Heroin is that even on small doses a tolerance will be building - before long you will need that little bit more (sounds a bit cliche I know but its the truth). Also you have to take into consideration that if your using stimulants then the effects are going to be dampened a bit so your probably taking more than say somebody not on stims would need.
 
Thanks for the reply and sorry for posting in the wrong spot. Also, you're pointing out the vagueness of my question is valid. I guess a more specific question would be something like: "If my drug use previous to the heroin is a "5" or "6" on a scale of 1-10 of likelihood of sudden death by OD, how much would the new addition add to the scale. Furthermore, I don't doubt your warning about needing more than a "dot" pretty soon, as I've noticed that with everything else I've ever used. I'm not so much worried about an "early death" as I am about, say, dying today, tomorrow, or next week. I know this is kind of a weird question. If you want to know the truth, I'm just looking to outlive my cat. I could't stand to abandon her. After that I don't care so much. So the question is more about how SOON this new addition might kill me. I hope that help makes it more clear.
 
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