So I actually got a fucking job.
Ran out of hydrocodone yesterday.
Can't get in touch with any of my connections. Perhaps they're dead.
I have my first shift tonight, starting at 10pm-6am. It's just retail but it's that wonderful holiday time of the year. I'm pretty sure I am going to be able to move around so the crazy legs won't come around. I took a muscle relaxer and an NSAID as well as my rx'd benzos and whatever scrapings of oxy were left in my straw. My gf called me a pathetic loser. I just have to get thru tonight. I don't know how bad it will be. Perhaps some of my new coworkers will be friendly and on a similar wavelength as myself, since they're overnight folks... I'd love to get some restaurant work but this is all I have at the moment... School is pretty much over for me. I have to somehow become a fucking useful person by christmas so I can celebrate it with my friends and family (what little I've got) but I really don't see that happening. No matter how much pot I smoke or how much alcohol I drink, my appetite doesn't really return until I can get a hold of some fucking opiates. Sigh. Getting desperate. The last thing I want to be is desperate because I find that desperation is when you get into the most trouble. But we'll see. Maybe I will run into some pill head such as myself at work. It takes one to know one, right? D: I'm feeling somewhere between completely shitty and a zombified mess right now. I have to be out of here in 3 hours so unless some pills or dope falls out of the sky and into my lap, this will be my life for the next 10 or so hours.
Wish me luck... at least I was able to sleep last night, after my 10mgs of hydrocodone sort of wore off... I really hope I don't have to deal with too many customers at the moment. D: People doing last minute Christmas shopping... like, yeah, you really care about your Grandma, waiting for the last possible minute to buy her a gift, right... Oh well. We shall see what happens. If I shit myself, I just won't come back. HAHAHAHA... *cries*
Ran out of hydrocodone yesterday.
Can't get in touch with any of my connections. Perhaps they're dead.
I have my first shift tonight, starting at 10pm-6am. It's just retail but it's that wonderful holiday time of the year. I'm pretty sure I am going to be able to move around so the crazy legs won't come around. I took a muscle relaxer and an NSAID as well as my rx'd benzos and whatever scrapings of oxy were left in my straw. My gf called me a pathetic loser. I just have to get thru tonight. I don't know how bad it will be. Perhaps some of my new coworkers will be friendly and on a similar wavelength as myself, since they're overnight folks... I'd love to get some restaurant work but this is all I have at the moment... School is pretty much over for me. I have to somehow become a fucking useful person by christmas so I can celebrate it with my friends and family (what little I've got) but I really don't see that happening. No matter how much pot I smoke or how much alcohol I drink, my appetite doesn't really return until I can get a hold of some fucking opiates. Sigh. Getting desperate. The last thing I want to be is desperate because I find that desperation is when you get into the most trouble. But we'll see. Maybe I will run into some pill head such as myself at work. It takes one to know one, right? D: I'm feeling somewhere between completely shitty and a zombified mess right now. I have to be out of here in 3 hours so unless some pills or dope falls out of the sky and into my lap, this will be my life for the next 10 or so hours.
Wish me luck... at least I was able to sleep last night, after my 10mgs of hydrocodone sort of wore off... I really hope I don't have to deal with too many customers at the moment. D: People doing last minute Christmas shopping... like, yeah, you really care about your Grandma, waiting for the last possible minute to buy her a gift, right... Oh well. We shall see what happens. If I shit myself, I just won't come back. HAHAHAHA... *cries*
