New-ish member in serious need of help

[Nooneskind101]

Hey BL!
First time caller, long time listener. I live in Powhatan, VA. I am currently in Richmond, VA. I’m a recovering IV fent/heroin and crack user. Clean since August, short of a small relapse a few weeks ago. Caught myself pretty quickly. Anyways.. my wife found out about the release and totally lost her shit. She had me removed from the house (voluntarily). I figured it would only be for a night or two, so I took it in stride, left all my stuff at home… I struggled to find a place to stay, bc most of my friends are addicts who are active and I’m not going to put myself in that position. So here it is, day 4, and Im still sleeping in the woods. I have no one willing or able to take me in. She has my wallet and my work stuff and refuses to give it back. The police have gone over with me, but swears she can’t find it when we get there. So there’s nothing they can do. I use Chime, so I can’t go to the bank… even still, I have no fucking ID. So I need some help. ANY sort of help. I have asked almost every person I’m semi-comfortable with on Facebook for money and a few have been gracious. I was sent a few small amounts on Venmo, cashapp, and Zelle ($5 here, $10 there, totaling $30 in 4 days). I am starving, cold, STARVING, smelling horrible, lost, clueless, scared, my phone dies every hour bc it’s 10 years old. My clothes trash bag ripped days back. I lost my job bc I live in a county way out from the city (about 25 miles one way). I caught a ride with a stranger at the gas station I was at on day one bc I had my probation intake appointment and Suboxone doctor appointment that next day and could NOT miss those. I’ve put my embarrassing situation out on my Facebook feed and gotten so many ugly responses from people, “fucking beggar, fucking bum, fucking junkie, you’re prob just gonna shoot it into your arm” etc etc. I am desperate. I don’t know what to do. My main priority is food. I am absolutely STARVING. I had close to $1600 in my checking account but I don’t have the god damn card for it, and she changed the password and two factor authentication to it. I have no clue if the money remains. I don’t have it linked to my Apple wallet.

I’m so exhausted, I don’t know if I’m making any sense or not. I’ve never experienced this before, so I don’t know what to do or where to begin. Having this felony arrest cost me my amazing job making $80,000/ year. Back then, when I’d get caught by wife, I’d just get a hotel for a few days, wait it out, talk it through, and it was fine. If I were especially pressed for money, I’d run DoorDash for a few hours, and bam, money in my hands. Losing my job made me lose my car… No access to any vehicle… she’s got the only one. No one close to me is willing to help bc when I caught my very first and only possession charge in July, they all gathered together the day I PR bonded out and swore to me that until I went to rehab (which I did) and my charge cleared (I was offered a first time offender program, so that’ll be fine in July), that they would not help me with a SINGLE thing, and that if I EVER got caught using, even one more time, that they would never help me again. So here I am… alone. Cold. Scared. Worried. Clueless.

Can anyone offer me any advice? Where can I go? What can I do? How can I survive? The only solution I’ve had offered is an alcoholic woman who said I could move into her extra room but I’d need $200 up front. Do I panhandle for it? How do I panhandle? Are there resources for me? Like I said, I have NEVER experienced this before. Please help. Any advice, words of encouragements… I don’t care. Messsge me if you want (idk if I’m allowed to give contact info out..?) If I am

 

[Jabberwocky]

Really sorry you're going through this man.

I'm no legal expert, but I'm pretty sure she can't deprive you of your wallet and bank account like that. You may have to contact the police again. Usually their first job is to just separate the two parties to cool off for a few days, but after that I'm not sure.

Is it a joint bank account? Who owns the house?

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Call your local Department of health and Human Services. Every single County in the US has one. Explain your situation and they will probably get you a motel room. They will also get you an emergency EBT ( Electronic benifits transfer ) card....in other words a food card. If you can't get there to the office they can call a motel for you in your general vicinity and secure the room for you. They can mail you the ebt card but that's gonna take time. If you can get there in person they can load it up with food money and hand it to you right there. That will give you at least food and shelter.

And yeah, if you are married then it's 50/50. She can't withhold your finances albeit she can lie and say she can't find your wallet. If you can physically get to the bank with a cop they can make her show up and give you half of the account as it is legally yours. Also.....don't know what that cop was on about but he's wrong. She CANNOT deny you access to your home if in fact you two are legally married. It doesn't work that way. Just because she kicked you out or you left voluntarily you still have every right to go into your home whenever you please. She can't deny you entrance under the law. Your rights are being violated. Even roommates have to be legally evicted. That's why people don't let others couch surf anymore because once you invite someone into your home getting rid of them is harder than you think.

She's messing with you and getting away with it. You have the right to enter a home that you and her both share if you are legally married.

 

[Nooneskind101]

Call your local Department of health and Human Services. Every single County in the US has one. Explain your situation and they will probably get you a motel room. They will also get you an emergency EBT ( Electronic benifits transfer ) card....in other words a food card. If you can't get there to the office they can call a motel for you in your general vicinity and secure the room for you. They can mail you the ebt card but that's gonna take time. If you can get there in person they can load it up with food money and hand it to you right there. That will give you at least food and shelter.

And yeah, if you are married then it's 50/50. She can't withhold your finances albeit she can lie and say she can't find your wallet. If you can physically get to the bank with a cop they can make her show up and give you half of the account as it is legally yours. Also.....don't know what that cop was on about but he's wrong. She CANNOT deny you access to your home if in fact you two are legally married. It doesn't work that way. Just because she kicked you out or you left voluntarily you still have every right to go into your home whenever you please. She can't deny you entrance under the law. Your rights are being violated. Even roommates have to be legally evicted. That's why people don't let others couch surf anymore because once you invite someone into your home getting rid of them is harder than you think.

She's messing with you and getting away with it. You have the right to enter a home that you and her both share if you are legally married.

Yeah the officer straight told her once he leaves, he can’t come back without your permission

 

[Nooneskind101]

Really sorry you're going through this man.

I'm no legal expert, but I'm pretty sure she can't deprive you of your wallet and bank account like that. You may have to contact the police again. Usually their first job is to just separate the two parties to cool off for a few days, but after that I'm not sure.

Is it a joint bank account? Who owns the house?

It’s just my bank and the house is rented. There’s no lease, we’ve been month to month for 5 years. I was on the original lease and have been living there since day 1, minus a few nights where we were fighting

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

Really horrible situation man.
PS messaged you