new here, suffering from extreme xanax widthrawls

[kostasafos]

i had taken xanax a couple of times before my binge, maybe in the past few years so i knew what it was like

ususally during my binge i would start with one 2mg bar, and then take another one of those maybe an hour in

this will be the 4th night cold turkey

today i felt very dizzy, i could barley sleep last night, i had laid in my bed for 5 hours trying to sleep

i am scared, i feel like it is a mix of deppression and WD's

i was able to eat a bowl of soup today which was okay made me feel a bit better on my feet

when i close my eyes sometimes i am seeing flashes of light which is bugging me out and making me unable to fall asleep
i just want to get this over with

 

[Maya]

Flashes of light and dizziness are usually a form of anxiety. I have also experienced these on the ist to the 4th month of my come down and yes they are very unpleasant. I still feel a little giddy but it's not as bad as it used to be. Just always remember that your brain is fixing itself and requires a lot of time to heal it may take months it may take a year but what you should always remember is that it will heal and you have to believe in it.

 

[kostasafos]

thanks for the support, i dont know your story but i hope that you experience a healthy recovery. since my mother has passed away i have been experiencing new emotions and undergoing new battles that i have not come across before, at such a young age i just want to live a happy life, i dont want this deppression to overcome my normal emotional state and dominate my life. i want to breathe again. i am guessing that quitting cold turkey has brought about the worst form of depression i have ever felt before. i was taking 4mg while i was out with friends and they were doing it as well, that is the reason i wouldnt fall asleep, because i wasnt home. if i was home 2mg would have been enough to send me to sleep. i liked the sence of euphoria and it made me feel as if i had not a care in the world, or a problem. but i now realise that i must seek professional help, maybe some type of therapy. i really would like to stop with the pills for good. i have tried different drugs, and i am an avid pot smoker. but never had an issue like this before.

coming to blue light as a rookie and having all of you here for your support and input has also helped me. i feel not so much alone anymore. may your battles be won at peace.

 

[Maya]

We are all in these together. TDS has amazing moderators and people that you can message to whenever you are having a hard time with fighting your battles. It hasnt been easy for me either but my tds family has been here for me so we will be here for you as well. We will fight this together that's the most important part.

 

[tukabirdy]

There is always someone to help nowadays. It's easy to get lost in the good times dope can bring....I'm glad you know where to draw the line....even if it's a wavering line! You do know what's best and I think you'll be able to find someone IRL that can help...keep looking for the right person...I went to three therapists before I got the woman I needed....she is great and has helped me so much.

I'm so sorry you lost your mom....that has to be one of the hardest life events to deal with...I lost my dad and stepmom in the same year....it was insane all the things that happened that year...I was numb and glad I didn't have access to benzos. They are scary....

You seem strong underneath your grief and that will help you down the road kostas....