Hi everyone, I'm 37 years old and started using drugs recreationally, or to cope with depression, anxiety, and boredom, when I was 16. I mostly used marajuana, opiates, and alcohol. After a year of on and off coke and crack binges when I was 23, I decided stimulants and alcohol turned me into someone I did not want to be, and started using pain pills, marajuana, and benzos in a daily basis. I decided I was sick of it all at age 28, and got clean and quit everything. Fast Foward to a couple years ago, I started having neck, arm, and back pain. Lived with it untreated for a while, then started using tramadol. Eventually, I was diagnosed with cancer and had several tumors removed with surgery and radiation. I was unfortunately left with debilitating pain that left me unable to work or live an active life and was referred to pain management. I'm currently on Fentanyl 25 mcg patch and Percoset for breakthrough pain. I struggle to use as prescribed, sometimes because I'm in so much pain, and sometimes because I revert to my old drug addict self. I also get steroid injections, massages, exercise, and use a tens unit. Despite my best efforts, I still need drugs to function with the pain. I really out myself in a bind this month when I started chewing the patches (I know dangerous and stupid). Just wearing them doesn't 100% take the pain away, and chewing makes them hit me faster. I'm now down to the patch I'm wearing plus 2, and 25 percosets. I see the dr next Tuesday and I'm scared she is going to ask to count my meds (though they've never done this). I also ordered some kratom that is supposed to be here tomorrow. My plan is try only using it for a week to conserve my remaining meds. I tried some from a local shop here, but it was expensive and fairly weak (I had to take 4 capsules every 3 hours. If I can make it through this month, maybe I won't be such an idiot next time I get my meds. Nice to let all that out none the less!
