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New Here & need some advice!

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Headye

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 25, 2022
Messages
3
Hey guys, for now I’ll go under my user name & Nickname headye! I just turned 32 last Thursday I’m from Northern Kentucky about 5 min south of Cincinnati. I’ve been doing oxycodone 30’s consistently for the past three years. It’s really starting to affect me financially. They’re $40-$43 and I’ve built my tolerance up to 10-14 a day (stupid I know). Today I hit rock bottom. I picked up a half G of heroin which I assume is fet. It came rocked up like cocaine? I’ve been doing tiny amounts to keep detox at bay. Im going to be starting sub tomorrow (if I can get more) or caving in and going to a detox facility. I’m here because I don’t have anyone to discuss opioids with I'm a closet user. I don’t know the safest consumption methods for H(probably fet). I’d have gone to detox already if it wasn’t for a strange family dynamic. I work for my dad who’s the source of income but also the source of my pain and why I use. He’s always been very aggressive towards myself and my mom. Opioids not only relieved physical pain, they also relieved mental pain, and social anxiety. I just need some advice and someone to bounce thoughts off of. Thanks in advance to anyone reading this.
 
welcome to BL, you will get lots of help, yeah be careful of that fent, dang near killed me, i have advice, but usually not what many want to hear, wish you well
 
You're way better of getting subs from a clinic than the street, or better yet, doing some inpatient

Deeeeeefinitely don't go around doing untested street "dope". If you're doing 10x 30s a day you have a little tolerance but that won't save you from fent.

Get on subs or methadone asap. Then get outpatient or inpatient after that asap.
 
Headye said:
Hey guys, for now I’ll go under my user name & Nickname headye! I just turned 32 last Thursday I’m from Northern Kentucky about 5 min south of Cincinnati. I’ve been doing oxycodone 30’s consistently for the past three years. It’s really starting to affect me financially. They’re $40-$43 and I’ve built my tolerance up to 10-14 a day (stupid I know). Today I hit rock bottom. I picked up a half G of heroin which I assume is fet. It came rocked up like cocaine? I’ve been doing tiny amounts to keep detox at bay. Im going to be starting sub tomorrow (if I can get more) or caving in and going to a detox facility. I’m here because I don’t have anyone to discuss opioids with I'm a closet user. I don’t know the safest consumption methods for H(probably fet). I’d have gone to detox already if it wasn’t for a strange family dynamic. I work for my dad who’s the source of income but also the source of my pain and why I use. He’s always been very aggressive towards myself and my mom. Opioids not only relieved physical pain, they also relieved mental pain, and social anxiety. I just need some advice and someone to bounce thoughts off of. Thanks in advance to anyone reading this.
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Hey man welcome to Bluelight! Sorry to hear about your situation. For your safety I strongly recommend that you steer well clear of that street fentanyl and go in to a detox facility to get clean. The fentanyl will kill you. I can tell you wanna get clean. Don't get dead <3
 
Headye said:
I work for my dad who’s the source of income but also the source of my pain and why I use. He’s always been very aggressive towards myself and my mom. Opioids not only relieved physical pain, they also relieved mental pain, and social anxiety. I just need some advice and someone to bounce thoughts off of. Thanks in advance to anyone reading this.
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Hey man welcome to BL
Oh I'm already mad when I hear something like this
Def. stay out of H, if you can get Subs it's always strange cause it's free in my Country covered by insurance
As you are 32 now you are a man, I guess if you work for him his bussiness will be your bussiness,?
I went through something similar cause of my dad PTSD from war but he saw that negativity can f....all of us as a family and I turned him arround and I can't believe that he now see how things work when there's no shame in admitting that you, he we need help. was the thing that helped him be calm
Just stay out of H. If you can balance work with subs you will come through anything.
Don't be affraid if anything we here are all for you
 
ĐmantuNJofra said:
Hey man welcome to BL
Oh I'm already mad when I hear something like this
Def. stay out of H, if you can get Subs it's always strange cause it's free in my Country covered by insurance
As you are 32 now you are a man, I guess if you work for him his bussiness will be your bussiness,?
I went through something similar cause of my dad PTSD from war but he saw that negativity can f....all of us as a family and I turned him arround and I can't believe that he now see how things work when there's no shame in admitting that you, he we need help. was the thing that helped him be calm
Just stay out of H. If you can balance work with subs you will come through anything.
Don't be affraid if anything we here are all for you
Click to expand...
Thanks for your service, I always air on the side of caution when I use PTSD because I have friends who are vets. I was clinically diagnosed at 19 but a aggressive father isn’t exactly the same PTSD as war. Prior to moving back to Cincinnati I was living in CO working in the cannabis space. I took a job back in KY to run a industrial hemp extraction lab at the end of ‘18. The price of bulk CBD drastically fell once everybody got involved also the investors were short sighted on equipment which ultimately led me to working for my fathers business. In hind sight it was a big mistake moving back to KY/OH where the opioid crisis is at an all time high i had dabbled with prescription opioids before but it wasn’t until everything started falling apart that I used it consistently. Yes,The goal was to take over the business. I am a man acting like a boy. I also get treated like one from my dad. I am functional and do own my own house. It wasn’t exactly my idea obviously because of his temperament and our relationship. But he offered to bring me on after the cannabis industry fell thru which he thought was a joke the whole time. Covid really put a dent in the sales business. I officially started March 3 two weeks before the world closed down and about a month before my grandmother passed from the virus. She pretty much raised me and was my healthiest relationship. We’re lower middle class so we haven’t been raking in cash. I share that as context not as an excuse I hate excuses and lies and that’s all I’ve been doing since I started abusing. I also share that because at the moment I’m financially dependent on the family business. I’ve been looking at jobs back out west and locally to gain my independence back. Again I’m functional I’m not a complete waste and have warn a mask for so long I’m ready to take it off. Anyway I just brought up inpatient detox literally 45 min ago at there house and he completely lost it. My dad is the oldest in his family at 70 and kicked his only brother out of the family for using opioids and getting in trouble with the law (marine vet) who’s now living on the streets. He’s threatened to kick me out of the family over sticking up for my mother. The conversation was very discouraging and very aggressive I think I’ve taken up enough characters so I won’t go into detail but it almost ended in a fight with his hand wound back. I’m the only child he had put my mom down multiple times through out the conversation just for asking simple questions. She’s never stood up for herself and it’s not my fight but I can’t help to stand up for her, but I digress. I’m going to call my insurance tomorrow to see if they’ll cover in patient. Then I was going to get the Vivitrol shot. It’s frustrating I’ve called 10+ facilities and they always push for the sub. It helped my friend who used dope IV but I’m ready to get my life back. I don’t want to trade one opiate for the other.

Thank you all for the responses and sorry for giving you a bibles worth of message on a Monday night.

Heady
 
Welcome. Please stay safe. And try to be calm as possible when trying to get through all of this.
Sometimes all you can do is break down and cry. But you have to get back up !!!!
Please choose healthy. And good luck you will do fine. Keep strong also. You will have to.
 
Yeah, now somehow I understand you, I'm sorry I know that sometimes advices are stereotypical like mine but then there Is so much more in a life that
can't be explained.
Im also a father 34 but a man acting like a boy sometimes as you said but I think that's good
From writing I see that you are smart person and you've been through alot and people kicking sons daughters from the house I witnessed but luckily it wasn't me
I hear you and we are here for you, just stay clean
Write a book here if it will make you feel better we will read it
Peace and love
 
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