New here. Day 4 of sobriety.

[msox12]

Just want to introduce myself. Im in day 4 of sobriety. I used to just be an alcoholic... moved to pills... vicodin... then a really big tramadol addiction.

Ive been using Kratom to help with the tramadol withdrawal. I never thought I would go through withdrawals because I wasn't a heroin addict. Oh my gosh.. the restlessness is so bad. It was miserable. I wouldn't sleep all night. I would take melatonin and Valerian Root... nothing would help. I would move from the bed, to the couch, to the bed, to the couch... all night long. I almost drank just to get rid of the restlessness and I've been sober from alcohol since August of 2013.

Well the Kratom has been amazing... and im on day 4 of sobriety... and hoping that once I stop the Kratom that I will be ok. I am hoping its not just prolonging the withdrawal.

Im not a very big girl... Im taking about 4-5mg 2-3x a day. At night I take it with Valerian Root. I just moved and dont know where or how to get to an AA meetings which has sucked... and I feel alone. My boyfriend has no idea that I was taking tramadol when I first moved in here... and he has no idea that the reason I was so "sick" was because I was in withdrawal. I sometimes was so miserable I just wanted to scream out " Im trying to get sober so i dont mess up this relationship and can have a normal happy life... THATS why I cant stop tossing and turning and why I want to punch a wall!" But of course I didnt.

I talked to some other people in the program from back home who told me about kratom and I told him about it and told him about how it helped them with ocassional alcohol cravings and he agreed that it would be good to buy-- the headshop (smokeshop?) here sells it.

I just want to be sober. I was sober for like 3 months at one point and I was so happy. I was doing so well in everything in life... and then I got pregnant with twins and my life went to hell... my OB was prescribing me pain pills the entire pregnancy ... it never ended. It has to now. I just want to be happy and succeed in life.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Congrats on your 4 days of sobriety!!!

You can always go to an NA meeting online if you think that would help.

http://na-recovery.org/

 

[msox12]

Thank you so much CH

I was reading another thread about someone who was taking 3,000mg of tram a day. Thats like 60 pills. Blew my mind.

Ive only had one seizure thankfully..

But Im concerned about the fact that I quit the trams so cold turkey. I was taking like 750mg a day 3-4x a week for the last 8 months.


I never took any while pregnant because I didnt want to put my twin boys in danger. I only took what was prescribed to me.... the last 3 months of my pregnancy I was on bedrest. Im 5'2" and 110lbs and my body couldnt handle growing two humans at once. The nurses called me Bella (like from twilight... which I hated). The boys were literally tearing my body apart. So every 6 hours for 3 months I was getting two 5mg norcos. Round the clock. Then when the boys were 3 months old and I was done breastfeeding I started taking the tramadols again. I felt like they made me a better mom. I could take better care of them... I could work 40+ hours a week and come home and be super mom to my twins. I was a single mom and I felt like they just made me able to work and take care of my babies the way I should be able to.

Now I cant stop.

Does anyone have any info/suggestions/advice about how Im doing this? The last time I took tram was Saturday ... 450mg. It's now Wednesday and I havent had anything except the kratom. The restlessness is what I hate the most.. its awful.

Any info about how this could have affected my seratonin levels...?

I'm afraid if I go to an ER (Cant get into my doc til 11/19) they'll try and commit me or throw me into a 30 day program-- which I dont need. I do really well with AA/NA... and Im through the first 72+ hours off the tram, so no need for a detox.