Benzos new here. advice on klonopin. feeling desperate

[cowardlykamikaz]

I got prescribed klonopin at 12 years old and abused them and took as prescribed at times. I went nuts a lot not knowing I was even addicted and withdrawing at times. Im now 27 and am still on them but on only .5 mgs a day. I can't deal with the low dose because my tolerance is so high. I need atleast 2mgs to feel well and not be a basket case. This shit ruined my life. I feel like im a slave to these pills. I was off of them only for a year straight between the ages 12-27. I quit cold turkey for a pregnancy at age 23. I don't know how the fuck I did that because I was taking 6mgs a day before quitting cold turkey. I was more scared ofhurting the baby than the year long agonizing withdrawals. I don't know why I went back to getting prescribed again. I don't know if I'll ever beat this addiction. I don't abuse or even get high I just cant go to rehab to get off this poison that made me a shadow of a woman. My husband and I don't have family to help if I went to rehab. I can't live this way anymore. What can I do? Im scared if I confide in my doctor she will take me off completely and I'll go nuts. Thanks for listening and sorry if I posted in wrong section. Btw when I quit cold turkey for that year I didn't know how dangerous it was. Thankfully I didn't have a seizure or anything.

 

[moe.ron]

are you interested in coming off benzos completely and attempting to stay off or going up to a comfortable place at whatever dose that may be and staying with the benzos for the near future? Are you physically safe at your .5 mg a day dose? My advice if you are interested in coming off, if .5mg is not doing you well, is attempting to get your doctor to raise to a dose that you're comfortable with, as you suggested 2 mg a day. I know nothing of your current situation with your doctor but i would guess if you can prove you have been prescribed large doses in the past, you could get raised if you expressed the current dose was not enough do to tolerance or a resurgence in the afflictions that caused you to be prescribed so much in the past.

Anyways once you are stabilized at a safe dose that you can think lucidly on and in your words "not be a basket case", you will be in the right state of mind to begin the long road of safely tapering off klonopin over the course of several months. Its a long process but very much possible no matter how daunting it may seem. In the meantime know that this board has several active members including myself who have been through benzo hell and survived willing to work with you at every step of your process to keep you as comfortable as possible no matter what you choose. No matter what you will not be alone in the journey if you choose to stay on bluelight and will have access to many different opinions, and all kinds of amazing advice.

 

[cowardlykamikaz]

I want off but im scared. I can hardly handle the low dose. Thanks for the support I can't tell anyone I know. Everyone just thinks im flaky/ withdrawn because I hardly even leave the apartment anymore im so depressed. Im sorry im so scared and confused on my decisions

 

[cowardlykamikaz]

Even if I wanted to raise my dose it wouldn't happen this doctor is horrified that I was on such high doses in the past. Those doctors should have never started me so young. But im not playing the blame game or feel sorry for myself I just cant take this anxiety

 

[MoreFeens4Morphine]

Anyone who puts a 12 year old on a benzo should be shot in my honest, brutal opinion.

That is WAYYY to young to get a child physically dependent - which is almost inevitable with many people. These doctors know damn well how addictive benzos are. I am in a similar situation, albeit not as severe.

My advice: free yourself from the slavery of benzo dependence. cold turkey is hard as hell, but if you're only taking 0.5mg a day, or even just 1mg a day you should be ok to quit cold turkey.
The dose you are on may be too small right now, but you even said it yourself that you wish you never started taking them. You also indicated that you in fact did abuse them (how frequently, idk). I am no longer prescribed klonopin or any benzos for that matter because my psychiatrist saw me filling my prescription a few days early every month, which wouldn't have happened if they prescribed me 3x/day as opposed to 2x/day. I am still experiencing withdrawals even a few months after I've been clean from klonopin and it's been the hardest time in my life - I can't even smoke weed now without my heart exploding. They put me on gabapentin and it's complete garbage.

Best of luck,
-MF4M

 

[RTrain]

I got prescribed klonopin at 12 years old and abused them and took as prescribed at times. I went nuts a lot not knowing I was even addicted and withdrawing at times. Im now 27 and am still on them but on only .5 mgs a day. I can't deal with the low dose because my tolerance is so high. I need atleast 2mgs to feel well and not be a basket case. This shit ruined my life. I feel like im a slave to these pills. I was off of them only for a year straight between the ages 12-27. I quit cold turkey for a pregnancy at age 23. I don't know how the fuck I did that because I was taking 6mgs a day before quitting cold turkey. I was more scared ofhurting the baby than the year long agonizing withdrawals. I don't know why I went back to getting prescribed again. I don't know if I'll ever beat this addiction. I don't abuse or even get high I just cant go to rehab to get off this poison that made me a shadow of a woman. My husband and I don't have family to help if I went to rehab. I can't live this way anymore. What can I do? Im scared if I confide in my doctor she will take me off completely and I'll go nuts. Thanks for listening and sorry if I posted in wrong section. Btw when I quit cold turkey for that year I didn't know how dangerous it was. Thankfully I didn't have a seizure or anything.

So are you taking 2 mg a day or just the .5? If you are taking just the .5 and keep at it your body will adjust, but thats a huge drop and you will be feeling awful for long time. Why not talk to your doctor about getting off the pills and tell her its not enough right now. Maybe try to convince her that switching to valium at a dose equiavlent to more than .5 mg of clonazepam will help because its easier to taper form. This is a tough situation and you really need a doctor who will work with you and do what needs to be done to make this easy on you. I believe you have that right and it should be the doctors goal to help you get off the benzos if you want it, and do it in a manner that is safe and least painful for you. If the current doctor won't help, research some addiction specialists who seal with benzo w/d, don't settle for the first doctor who thinks they know how to help you. Come on here and ask if what the docs want to do makes sense, you will be able to get good advice and input.

 

[yteek]

If you do go off, lyrica lyrica lyrica, a mircale drug for benzo wd's.

 

[MrsMorphine]

I want off but im scared. I can hardly handle the low dose. Thanks for the support I can't tell anyone I know. Everyone just thinks im flaky/ withdrawn because I hardly even leave the apartment anymore im so depressed. Im sorry im so scared and confused on my decisions

I'm so sorry for your situation... Klonopin always made me feel like I was going to hell even faster, like I was losing what was left of my mind. Is there a friendly doctor you can confide in? I had no trouble with other benzos, just Evil K.

 

[bennyZA]

What can I do? Im scared if I confide in my doctor she will take me off completely and I'll go nuts. .

Tell your doctor! Tell her you want off the klonopin. If she takes you off cold turkey she is incompetent and you should find another doc. You need to be honest if you really want to get off. A lot of the anxiety that comes with trying to get off benzos is from the idea of getting off benzos and not underlying anxiety. I've been where you are before. Benzo addiction causes a lot of anxiety, just keep that in mind.

 

[moe.ron]

So are you taking 2 mg a day or just the .5? If you are taking just the .5 and keep at it your body will adjust, but thats a huge drop and you will be feeling awful for long time. Why not talk to your doctor about getting off the pills and tell her its not enough right now. Maybe try to convince her that switching to valium at a dose equiavlent to more than .5 mg of clonazepam will help because its easier to taper form. This is a tough situation and you really need a doctor who will work with you and do what needs to be done to make this easy on you. I believe you have that right and it should be the doctors goal to help you get off the benzos if you want it, and do it in a manner that is safe and least painful for you. If the current doctor won't help, research some addiction specialists who seal with benzo w/d, don't settle for the first doctor who thinks they know how to help you. Come on here and ask if what the docs want to do makes sense, you will be able to get good advice and input.

I agree with this advice. I would bet that even your current doctor would be willing to move you onto 20 mg of valium a day to substitute for .5 mg of klonopin, and that would be about the equivalent of doubling your dose, which it sounds like you will need to go through the process comfortably. I dont think rushing to get you off benzos is in your advantage. The more intense your withdrawals are the more susceptible you'll be to long term relapse and reinstatement, IMO. Benzo withdrawal is a process, and for now your ahead of the game just by deciding you want off.

Anyways if your doctor refuses to switch you to valium (which you will want because you can get access to 5 mg and 2 mg valium pills, which are essential for a slow taper) you will want to find a new doctor. No matter what you need a doctor you can be honest that you are coming off of benzos with and that is willing to help you. For instance, I have a wonderful doctor who helped me come off this last time (my third and hopefully final attempt at coming and remaining off of benzos). I truly could not have done it without her, physically speaking. What I mean is that I required a beta blocker to control withdrawal induced heart palpitations and extremely high cascading blood pressure, a drug called hyoscyamine to help with the withdrawal induced stomache problems (which in my case are severe, and have gotten worth with each attempt at coming off benzos) and nightsweats, trazadone and mirtazapine to put me to sleep (insomonia is one of the most daunting aspects of withdrawal but she allowed me to experiment with medications until I found a combination of non gaba related sleeping meds that worked for me), and seroquel to help control some of the issues I attempted to medicate with benzos over the years. All of these drugs are only avaible with prescription so you can see why you need a doctor who will help you through this process and provide medication for symptomatic relief.

Somebody mentioned you could probably come off benzos at your current dose, and while this is possible I personally wouldn't recommend it. I myself personally detoxed from a 6 mg klonopin a day habit and jumped off at .5 mg of klonopin (this was the first time I got off benzos), but I believe the long lasting residual withdrawals I experienced from such a large drop off resulted in me being more apt to go back onto benzos when I was given the chance just several months later.

Hope you find some of this information useful cowardlykamikaz