PrettyMuchEverythinAddict
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2022
- Messages
- 14
Hi there Bluelighters… like the title says, I’ve been a long time “lurker”. Occasionally checking in with questions about mixing this and that or trying new things. I’m a 33 year old female, I live in Connecticut..shithole, been here my whole life and I’ve barely traveled. Someday I hope to, but sometimes traveling in my mind is just as good and much cheaper.
I never really used much besides the occasional stolen wine cooler from my parents fridge in my teens, to the stolen pot from my Dad, had a couple panic attacks back in the day from it, and had stayed away for a long long time. I hadn’t tried my first “hard” drug (cocaine) until I was 21. Was with this new guy and the party scene was rampant with these people, drinking every night, always passing blunts around(which I got used to eventually without panicking), and then was introduced to… dun dun dun, OxyContin and Percocet. My ex’s mother had rheumatoid arthritis and was prescribed them both and had enough to shell out some for extra cash, so we’d sell them at first and then I had my wisdom teeth out, got Tylenol 3s and then wanted to move up and try the P15s. Somethin else entirely. I’ve struggled with mental health issues and traumas since childhood and well into my adulthood, and this was incredible. Not only did my body not hurt, but I used to call it “being on cloud 9”. No pain, no bad thoughts, just the comfy pillow of an opiate high. Well, as things progressed, I was doing too many of the pricey pills, so boyfriend asked that we switch to H. I was reluctant, but agreed. Did that for a few months, then something snapped, he went to prison for some dumb shit and I ended up going into rehab. Detox first, then rehab. Was on Suboxone for quite some time and ever since those days, I’ve been on and off suboxone. It has helped me quite a bit, but every so often I just want to feel cloud 9 again.
Just about 2 years ago, I began experimenting with psychedelics, got some shrooms, ground em up real good and made my own micro dose capsules because I was afraid of how it would feel to fully trip for the first time. I’m so paranoid by nature, I was convinced I’d have a bad trip. Loved it, though. Being an artist, I’m a painter, by passion, not by trade, because I don’t want to lose my passion for it, so I have a basic bullshit job to keep me afloat and my passion remains painting. Colors brighter, mood elevated, sex amazing. I’ve only tried Molly once. I have some in my lock box right now, but I’m waiting for the right time. Want male company for that night. Haha.
So basically, I wanted to join Bluelight to gain some more insight on trying new and exciting things to expand my psyche. I used to smoke weed pretty often, but because my anxiety has been so bad, I haven’t in about 2 months. Edibles used to be so enjoyable for me, and I feel they still would be, but lately I just stick to subs and Xanax. Unsure about acid because that’s another one I fear I’d have a bad trip on. The one time I did molly it was about 2am, on the beach. No one else there but my boyfriend and one of our friends and when the waves started to kick in, I gave my boyfriend a look like…”we need to get home and get this other dude outta here hint hint” that 45 minute drive back home felt like 15 minutes as the Molly kicked in more and more, sometimes even feeling too intense, but oh so lovely at the same time.
I’m sorry if this has been a total ramble. I just wanted to introduce myself and explain why I’m here on the site. Hope to make some cool connections with like minded individuals and gain some knowledge from hearing other’s experiences! Thanks for reading.
I never really used much besides the occasional stolen wine cooler from my parents fridge in my teens, to the stolen pot from my Dad, had a couple panic attacks back in the day from it, and had stayed away for a long long time. I hadn’t tried my first “hard” drug (cocaine) until I was 21. Was with this new guy and the party scene was rampant with these people, drinking every night, always passing blunts around(which I got used to eventually without panicking), and then was introduced to… dun dun dun, OxyContin and Percocet. My ex’s mother had rheumatoid arthritis and was prescribed them both and had enough to shell out some for extra cash, so we’d sell them at first and then I had my wisdom teeth out, got Tylenol 3s and then wanted to move up and try the P15s. Somethin else entirely. I’ve struggled with mental health issues and traumas since childhood and well into my adulthood, and this was incredible. Not only did my body not hurt, but I used to call it “being on cloud 9”. No pain, no bad thoughts, just the comfy pillow of an opiate high. Well, as things progressed, I was doing too many of the pricey pills, so boyfriend asked that we switch to H. I was reluctant, but agreed. Did that for a few months, then something snapped, he went to prison for some dumb shit and I ended up going into rehab. Detox first, then rehab. Was on Suboxone for quite some time and ever since those days, I’ve been on and off suboxone. It has helped me quite a bit, but every so often I just want to feel cloud 9 again.
Just about 2 years ago, I began experimenting with psychedelics, got some shrooms, ground em up real good and made my own micro dose capsules because I was afraid of how it would feel to fully trip for the first time. I’m so paranoid by nature, I was convinced I’d have a bad trip. Loved it, though. Being an artist, I’m a painter, by passion, not by trade, because I don’t want to lose my passion for it, so I have a basic bullshit job to keep me afloat and my passion remains painting. Colors brighter, mood elevated, sex amazing. I’ve only tried Molly once. I have some in my lock box right now, but I’m waiting for the right time. Want male company for that night. Haha.
So basically, I wanted to join Bluelight to gain some more insight on trying new and exciting things to expand my psyche. I used to smoke weed pretty often, but because my anxiety has been so bad, I haven’t in about 2 months. Edibles used to be so enjoyable for me, and I feel they still would be, but lately I just stick to subs and Xanax. Unsure about acid because that’s another one I fear I’d have a bad trip on. The one time I did molly it was about 2am, on the beach. No one else there but my boyfriend and one of our friends and when the waves started to kick in, I gave my boyfriend a look like…”we need to get home and get this other dude outta here hint hint” that 45 minute drive back home felt like 15 minutes as the Molly kicked in more and more, sometimes even feeling too intense, but oh so lovely at the same time.
I’m sorry if this has been a total ramble. I just wanted to introduce myself and explain why I’m here on the site. Hope to make some cool connections with like minded individuals and gain some knowledge from hearing other’s experiences! Thanks for reading.
Good times to come!
