new begining

[tonja]

I am feeling a sense of calmness but I am hurt believe it or not that dam husband of mine choose her over me. I will have to say the way it all happen was horrible on me but tonight i feel calm. I am wanting change in my life so bad. I want someone who will give a shit and also would always choose me. i can not say i am not without my own fault and i am told i have control issues especially if i find out after we are married for sometime that my spouse is a drug addict.15 years is a long time and and like a dumb ass i still love him but he choose and i would never have allowed to be anything but respected and he did not give me that. so now i wonder how do i move on i have only been with 2 men since i was 17 yrs old. do i stay single forever? i ask that because what if someone flirted i would be scared sounds silly but true. I am not dependent on no one but my self i like working. I wonder what is in store for me?? any advice?

 

[pasha]

homeless -> the dark side

 

[Maya]

Hi tonja, it's good that you are somewhat positive about the separation from your husband. I think that you shouldnt close your mind and be single forever as you might meet someone who is right for you and would enjoy your company and love you. Give yourself some time to heal and when you are ready everything should fall into place.

 

[tonja]

I will i need to stay positive and yes when the time is right it will be ok

 

[T. Calderone]

It must be hard for your kids too. How old are they and do they know that dad's an addict? I feel so badly what you must be going through. Is he contributing at all financially? I don't know where you live but you might be able to get help from the county. Since essentially he abandoned you, depending on income you may qualify for legal aid, family counseling, food stamps, etc.

I'm glad you're moving forward and remember every little baby step counts. You've been traumatized by all this and it will take some time to work through it. You were together for a long time and that's not easy to have it all just end like this. Stay as positive as you can, you're gonna have good days and not so good days. Keep us updated on how you're doing.