I remember those times when I was younger... watching her pull out of the driveway, in the back of my mind knowing she would eventually come home when the bitter sweet reality hit her... the worlds slightly colder than she remembered when she had been alone. I would think to myself , wondering how long it would take her to notice the drawing I had placed in her purse. Along the top it would say something like... "please come home soon mom, I love you" I left those there everytime she would go away... hoping that in some way it would make her realize she was loved, make her want me...want us...
my mom was always running from her life, and I was always running after her, pulling at her heels begging her to stay... but eventually it became pointless, and my efforts just drifted into the backseat with all the rest of my emotions.
It's easier now I suppose, because instead of always worrying about when shes going to walk out... I have my own problems... Im not sure which are worse. Wondering when the one person you are supposed to depend on is going to leave you, or watching your own life fall to the ground and realizing someday it will probably be you running with someone begging you to stay... but as for now, I have yet to be someones reason to stay.....
my mom was always running from her life, and I was always running after her, pulling at her heels begging her to stay... but eventually it became pointless, and my efforts just drifted into the backseat with all the rest of my emotions.
It's easier now I suppose, because instead of always worrying about when shes going to walk out... I have my own problems... Im not sure which are worse. Wondering when the one person you are supposed to depend on is going to leave you, or watching your own life fall to the ground and realizing someday it will probably be you running with someone begging you to stay... but as for now, I have yet to be someones reason to stay.....
