Negativity

I really don't care much about anything. Just gotta wait and see. I'm still working on getting into rehab soon.

We'll see...

I'm having a hard time figuring out what happened with me and 'M'. I understand what the reasoning is, I lied about using which violated our trust. This is something that was fixable. She decided it was too much for her and turned her back.

She was probably looking for an out and I handed her one. It just seems like it is so easy for her to walk away.

I'm going to miss her for a long time.
 
Its hard to be positive. Fake it til you make it. Thats what I learned to deal with it. Can't say that I would ever look forward to rehab but I guess perhaps if I had issues where I actually NEEDED to be there. If you need me, you can always PM buddy.
 
things are just nuts in my head at the moment. i go from complete emptiness inside to confusing, distorted emotions
 
finding what really has meaning to you, outside the feelings you constantly want to feel... is powerful. I am sorry for the pain that is going on, and that you may feel alone.

Really through this self evolution, the ones around you that love and care for you the most- will always be there for you, even if not physically.

But knowing that you are a strong person for choosing this path, is profound. These things around you merely a test.
 
Easy to walk away?
I don't think so....try painful.
Fixable? Every choice has a consequence.
I cannot live like that when I have to raise those 2 kids of mine and try to keep them off of drugs myself. I'm not that strong and my kids need and deserve for their mother to be stable.
Now get to the root of this!!
 
I turned my back on someone I care about very much and that goes against my nature and I'm sorry that hurts you. But you hurt me, hurt yourself and hurt us and that was a promise you made and broke...I can't live always wondering...I'm a mother and that has to be my priority and it's a real shame because you could of been a part of all that. But we have to move forward...I'm healing and you need to heal too...
 
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