...need...

[titania]

Where does the black cloud come from
Why are these negative feeling growing inside
How do I make the sun shine again
How do I bring back the warm glow of happiness
These feeling aren’t mine
Thoughts like this have never belonged to me
Why are they here
How can I make them leave
I don’t even believe in the things going through my mind
Who or what has put these thoughts here
Why me, why can’t they just leave
Show me how to push them away
I see all that is good around me
I know how wonderful it all really is
So why can’t I feel it
What is this wall stopping the good feelings from flowing through me
Why am I pushing what’s good away
I should be holding on as tight as I can
I need to break down the wall stopping me from being me
I need to break away from the negative things holding onto me
I need to free my mind
I need it to feel free
I need to feel that I’m helping somewhere
I need to feel loved for being me
I need to love life with my whole being again
I need to notice the beauty around me
I need to feel the love given to me
I need to return the love with all the vigour it’s given
I need to show you that you mean everything to me
I need you to know that I’m nothing without you
I need you to know that you’re helping me get through
I need you to know that I love you…

 

[dr seuss]

wow. is beautiful beyond words

I need to feel loved for being me
there's one thing that you *know* you can always feel - because you are, by everyone who has had the pleasure of knowing you
even the darkest clouds are still lit with sunshine behind... we can break through them easily enough
hugs!

 

[clue_liss]

Hey girl!
I love that.. it is so familiar to me.. I understand fully where you are coming from.
Last year sometime - after a good few months of excessive pilling and partying, I found myself starting to feel totally empty and numb inside.
My usually happy go lucky self and my excitement for everything and everyone around me was gone. I could see what I had and appreciated it all so much.. but that warm feeling inside just wasn't there... I felt emotionally void and numb and I saw the world in shades of grey and black instead of the usual bright colours I was use to.. and I knew things were great.. I could see them.. but I could not feel them - experience them as the warm and wonderful emotional experiences they actually were.
I don't know if it was related to the drugs, or if it was just a cycle in my life.. now I am back to normal again... as happy as ever yet as emotionally unstable as ever.
Good Luck - I hope this passes quickly.. as there is nothing worse than the feeling you have described in your poem.
*hugs*