Need too much

That the problem the crying and the emotionally needing to much. He had hoped that I could check in after the holidays.

OH yeah and thats just going to magically make it all better. "Hey mom, I'm depresses and want to kill myself. Please take me to this hospital." Yeah it works like that.

I would check myself in myself but I can't drive to the one I want to go to because I can't drive worth shit.

Don't have a job to pay the bill for it. And personally idk. I don't want to work,I'm not motivated and of course that came up and made me feel even more worthless.

I'm so dissociated, so empty, I think I'll just crawl back into my cave and sleep another 12 hours...

 

Look, find a hospital that will take you without insurance, or move to a plave that will. You need to worry about your health and not your financial well being. Clinical Depression is not a joke. That said, maybe it just the time of year? I hope so because you sound very sad. I hope things are going better for you.