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Need support from people that have fallen under the poppy

G

Groose

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 3, 2012
Messages
5
Hey guys, I have been using this forum for 3 years, to learn everything from the CWE to the safety of drug combinations and there on. I am a rather young person, and i dont want it to skyrocket out of control so I have decided to try and quit using unless I am prescribed opiates and or legitament purposes. So here is my story.



The first drug experience I had ever had was 4 years ago, and it was a fat bowl of weed I had boughten myself. (I have never been peer pressured by anyone to do any drugs, I have sought out or asked or been offered. Just never peer pressured) and I immediately fell in love with being high.

I smoked for 2 years and then it started to give me terrible anxiety and panic attacks, and that high I had loved so much had been ruined, and this was right around the time of my first opiate experience. It was a late spring morning and I was walking my way to my 2nd period class, when a good friend of mine said "hey, i got these pills, they're called Percocet and they will get you really high." I gladly accepted, since my beloved herb had betrayed me as of late. So he gave me one and I walked to the bathroom and washed it back with some cold water. 30 minutes past and being an opiate naive person the 5mg of oxycodone sent me to a state of bliss I had never known. I fell so deeply in love with it immediately and I had dreams about that experience and still do. I remember every minute and I can't forget. A few days later he gave me two more, And again, pure bliss. I was hooked. For the next to yeArs I would steal, buy, ask friends and scheme for the next fix. I felt a physical hunger for it that I cannot describe and have failed to describe to those closest to me, i have no user friends and I wouldnt think to tell 95% of the people around me about it. My addiction soon skyrocketed when I stole 53 Percocet from a family friend and did them all in 3 days. I soon experienced my first withdrawal and stole more and more, until I had no more to steal. And soon asked friends to steal from their parents to keep me from withdrawal. It was then that I had a friend raid her medicine cabinet and she gave me 4 Norcos and 6 klonopin, I had never had benzos and did a brief search on my phone, and found out they potentiated opiates. Awesome! A way to make the Norcos last longer. I have already done extensive research on every drug I've done. But I was dopesick and quickly downed a Kpin and two Norcos. I barely remember the rest of the day and apparently landed myself in the hospital and my person was clean when my parents searched me after I passed out on the couch. So I assume that I took all six 10mg Kpins and the four Norcos. Landing myself in the hospital and getting a stomach pump, and outpatient rehab in the next week. My family and girlfriend was devastated and all I could think about was getting my next fix. I'm wih the same girl and I still can't stop thinking about the magic poppy and it's derivatives. I have been abusing whenever I can since rehab and I need help to stop. Rehab didn't do shit but give me hook ups. So I need support from those who understand my situation.
 
You will never get clean unless you truly want to. simple as that. For most people this wont happen untill they have a friend die, OD them selves, land in jail/prison, or die.
 
^ Threads like these do well in OD, I find. Let's see what the veterans have to say before I shift this over to TDS for some tender love, care and attention.
 
The best advice I can give the OP is to find something that you used to love doing, before you found drugs. Something that is "safe" "innocent" fun. Like riding dirt bikes, working on cars, working out or whatever your favorite pastimes may be. Try and build a drug free life. All drugs will "turn against you" like marijuana did.

If you absolutely cannot stay clean, maybe you should consider extremely low dose maintenance with suboxone, like 1mg/day, until you can build a drug free life. But maintenance should only be considered if you have tried EVERYTHING to stop using. It's really sad to see people end up on maintenance when they had a problem with norcos or percocet.... Maintenance is not the way to go for people with lower level addictions like compounded opiates if you ask me.
 
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Hey man, you aint alone..
I remember being a kid bout 7 or 8 and when my mom gave me cough syrup, it got me high..didnt know at the time, but the first time i tried some real opiates i knew, they were the missing peice to the puzzle, what i needed...The first time i got real high off opiates as a teen was off codeine/promethazine syrup, drank 3oz, loved it and started either saving up doses, or pouring most the bottle up and filling the rest with water...I made a habit out of it, getting a bottle almost everytime i went to the doctor(i have chronic sinus/allergy problems)....

Starting at 15, i startd smoking weed(my D.O.C.) and swore i would never pop pills or anything haha..funny the way it goes though.

and from there, i bought my first hydros, blue 10s *snip*

After that i wanted more, found my moms stashspot(purse), little did i know she was prescribed Xanax, Tramadol, etc..
I took nearly her whole bottle over a week and had terrible wd's when i was out...

Any way long story short, i love my opiates, i like my benzos, BUT, the thing that keeps me out of trouble is WEED...

Thats right it helps keep the cravings down for me, though lately my tolerance is SKY HIGH and i gotta at least drink or take some pills to get 'fucked up' like i used too of weed alone
 
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Thanks for the support guys, and to answer PS poppy, it's been 2 days. And I don't think I need maintenance just support. And I don't know if i want to quit fully, or not. And treefa, weed gives me the worst paranoia of all time. Like the Above the influence shit.
 
I think this is more of a TDS thread, no?

tricomb said:
The best advice I can give the OP is to find something that you used to love doing, before you found drugs. Something that is "safe" "innocent" fun. Like riding dirt bikes, working on cars, working out or whatever your favorite pastimes may be. Try and build a drug free life. All drugs will "turn against you" like marijuana did.

If you absolutely cannot stay clean, maybe you should consider extremely low dose maintenance with suboxone, like 1mg/day, until you can build a drug free life. But maintenance should only be considered if you have tried EVERYTHING to stop using. It's really sad to see people end up on maintenance when they had a problem with norcos or percocet.... Maintenance is not the way to go for people with lower level addictions like compounded opiates if you ask me.
Click to expand...

Well said!
 
To tricomb, maybe I will play video games like I used to before this drug shit. And hang more with friends instead of being a loner. That favorite past time thing was a great idea, thanks man
 
Playing video games is an excellent idea! the favorite past time thing worked for me many times before becoming a chronic pain patient and having to come to terms with being on meds 4 life. I used to keep myself off drugs by doing things that were fun in and of themselves, I love motor sports, preferably things with 4 wheels I've never been good on bikes. I love cars and trucks though, and they provide endless distraction. They're always needing attention lol.

Video games are cool too though, Get down on some MW3 or whatever it is your into.
 
You'd be surprised with both how cathartic and distracting videogames can be for problems like this. There's some great immersive games out now, plus a plethora of online flash titbits to amuse yourself wish. Shun the stigma, get gaming :)
 
^yeah, I remember when I was a kid I would spend endless hours playing video games, And when I started drugs I jut stopped. I think that that is the key to helping me out; cause I am not as physically addicted as I was before rehab. Cause I had much more access to drugs before people found out I was a user. But this last week was spring break and I visited family, family with expired opiates/opioids/benzo's everywhere. So I was high as a kite all week and had my last dose Sunday. So I need to just keep my mind off of this shit, and get over it so the next time I go down there I won't abuse. I know I will be tempted, but I will have learned to control my temptation hopefully
 
Thanks man, I'll be sure to post periodically and get support when I'm having those damned cravings. It's good knowing I've actually got people to support me. Thanks for making me feel welcome on my first few posts!
 
I also had an infatuation with opiates with i was using them. but if and only if you cannot stay clean i would try to maintain with kratom, its helped myself and many others with addiction. I'd try this before a bupe maintenance program because kratom is natural, less addictive, and its similar to opiates (i still love the buzz after almost 2 years) plus when you decide to kick your maintenance program the w/d's wont be half that of bupe or others.
 
Please stick around, I'm going to move this thread over to The Dark Side, its a very welcoming community and you should be able to find the support you need there.

OD --> TDS
 
Well being an IV heroin user for 3 users I know your pain. I worked my way up the ladder which I'm thankful you stayed at the rung you did. I remember my first experiences with vic's and codeine/prometh syrup. That warm itchy bliss. Soon for some odd reason percs and OC flooded my area for a good year and I was hooked. Then the pharms all dried up and good ol heroin was the cheapest shit around to get off on. Maintenance definitely would NOT be a logical step for you, like you said, you need support. If you don't kick this early on, I know plenty of people who jump on up to heroin just for the sake of lower prices and stronger highs. That is definitely not the route you want to take. I'm sure many of us "junkies" wish we would have stopped at the stage where you are at, where the drugs are still fun and not a necessity, before we were turned into what we are now. I know I have lost mostly everything due to my poppy abuse. It's hard to believe a beautiful plant like that, when combined with certain chemicals in specific ways, can create something so powerful. Heh, wish I could cross-breed poppies with dandelions. But welcome to the nature of addiction my friend, nip it at the bud (no pun intended) and get the support you need. You still have your family and your girlfriend as support. Rely on them and truly use the support they can offer you, don't try to manipulate them or use them to get high, it always ends badly.
 
Maintenance

The key to all of this is that your body needs an opioid to stave off withdrawal. Perhaps getting on morphine maintenance therapy would be a good idea? MMT means you get your opiate as a pill, from the doctor, and you use each day. All this AA/NA crap about twelve steps is bullshit, I think. Your body needs to be kept in homeostasis; at least opiates are harmless (with the exception of a select few). It's just like quitting smoking, or staying on patches long-term. Both involve replacement of the chemical of addiction---not some psychological mumbo-jumbo.
 
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