Need Some Help

[catinthehat4]

Here's my story: On halloween (about 2.5 months ago) my friends and I did some molly at a concert. The stuff I had was white powder. I had a bag of what was evidently .6 (around 600 mg). I shared it with another person, so it's hard to say how much I did. I'm assuming around 400-450 mg. I understand that this is a completely retarded dose, so I don't need any chastising. I also didn't test the stuff, once again silly on my part, I've learned my lesson. I should also add that this was only my 3rd time doing it, my first time in about 8 months, so my tolerance was probably pretty low.

Anyway, since that night, I've been dealing with anxiety, depression, and depersonalization among other things. My cognitive functions, including short term memory, are fine. My problems are emotional. I've been seeing a shrink and I just started the ssri lexapro.

None of my friends, some of which have used much heavier than me, have experienced these adverse effects. In fact, they're completely taken aback and hardly understand what's wrong. I should probably mention that before taking the molly, I'd been to a therapist on a few occasions with the belief that I was PERHAPS mildly bipolar (nothing officially diagnosed).

My question: Is my serotonin system (or entire brain perhaps) permanently damaged? Or will I recover, but it will just take more time because of the heavy dose? Or perhaps the Molly was only the catalyst to uncover some latent condition that I'm now dealing with, irrespective of the big dose? Lastly, what can I do to aid in recovery? Is lexapro a good step forward?

I should mention I've made some progress, I was a total wreck right after this happened and now I'm somewhat stable. But I never thought it would take this long and now I'm kind of freaking out.

Thanks so much, it means a lot. I know I just wrote a novel.

 

[Legerity]

Don't worry too much about long-term damage or anything like that. If your mental health is already in a fragile state and you take a high dose of MDMA or another mind-altering substance, there is more chance of you having a bad reaction.

Therapy and meditation has been what helped me most with anxiety. I do not have experience with lexapro but if you feel that it may be helpful then maybe it will be.

Be patient things will get better

 

[extae2]

^agreed.

The body is very resilient. Don't let yourself get psyched out!

 

[catinthehat4]

Hey pontifex, I would love to talk. I can't pm you b/c I'm only a greenlighter. However, I think you can pm me. Perhaps we could exchange contact info? I don't want to be a burden, but I don't know anyone who has been through this (it's really fucking tough) and I can really use any hope.

Also, how long did it take to get back to normal? There's a part of me that believes there's no way I messed up my brain permanently, but then again, another part of me thinks that if my brain was to straighten itself out, it would've already done so by now.

Thanks for the reply