theplacidcasual
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2012
- Messages
- 30
Hey guys, I wasn't quite sure where to post this thread so I apologise if I have posted it in the wrong section. Basically, I'm a 22 year old male who has been using substances since the age of 15. I'd be honest in saying that the decision to partake in the use of these substances have brought on many problems. They have ruined relationships, caused some pretty severe problems with anxiety and has brought on full-blown psychosis on one occasion. One of these substances that I've had a problem with is alcohol. What I'm wondering is that whether the problem wasn't alcohol itself but the large quantity of substances that it leads me to take when drunk. Allow me to explain...
I find that on occasions I can have a couple of drinks and leave it at that no problem. The problem is once I become drunk, I develop very nasty craving for other substances (stimulants most of the time) and stop at nothing to get them. Not only that, I also go on for days spending money I don't have and the result of this is some very nasty psychological side-effects. I have often been in position where I have announced to myself and others that I am going to stop taking illicit substances and get clean, until I find that I've had a bottle or two of wine or some beers and I am on the phone desperately looking for anything I can get. This is a major pain in the arse to say the least and I'm currently at a point where I'm feeling incredibly low, I sometimes self-harm when I'm drunk and I just feel out of control. I'm aware that the solution would be to stop drinking, but I like any one enjoy drinking on the weekend (perhaps too much) and kid myself into believing that I won't buy any substances when I'm next drunk ("it's not gonna happen this weekend, I'll just get drunk!"). I know a lot of people who seem to have this problem, which definitely has me believing that alcohol is the worst "gateway drug" of all. Is there any one else here that can relate to this? I have had periods in my life where I'm able to drink without the need to go off and get "on it" so to speak. Perhaps the solution is to avoid alcohol for some time so I can break this horrible routine, which I believe if will continue I will become unwell. Anyway, that's enough from me.
I find that on occasions I can have a couple of drinks and leave it at that no problem. The problem is once I become drunk, I develop very nasty craving for other substances (stimulants most of the time) and stop at nothing to get them. Not only that, I also go on for days spending money I don't have and the result of this is some very nasty psychological side-effects. I have often been in position where I have announced to myself and others that I am going to stop taking illicit substances and get clean, until I find that I've had a bottle or two of wine or some beers and I am on the phone desperately looking for anything I can get. This is a major pain in the arse to say the least and I'm currently at a point where I'm feeling incredibly low, I sometimes self-harm when I'm drunk and I just feel out of control. I'm aware that the solution would be to stop drinking, but I like any one enjoy drinking on the weekend (perhaps too much) and kid myself into believing that I won't buy any substances when I'm next drunk ("it's not gonna happen this weekend, I'll just get drunk!"). I know a lot of people who seem to have this problem, which definitely has me believing that alcohol is the worst "gateway drug" of all. Is there any one else here that can relate to this? I have had periods in my life where I'm able to drink without the need to go off and get "on it" so to speak. Perhaps the solution is to avoid alcohol for some time so I can break this horrible routine, which I believe if will continue I will become unwell. Anyway, that's enough from me.
