I am currently kicking myself... i went to the hyatt hotel did a gram of cocaine...and totally looking like a granny ....my looks are suffering cause of use....its been a two year saga on and off....longest time clean in the 2 years is nine months.....i lost a baby.. a 5 mth year old....and had ptsd....problem is most friends i have do coke(wasnt like that before) and it took just one of them to offer and im gone back on the bender...the worst was i was in my hotel room...looking for cocaine on the floor...i started back two and a half weeks and my body is banged up...i even think my tits deflated and my face is bloated with sunken eyess!! Im soo ugly..alone single......the thing is i do have a good job but this using could make me loose it......oh yeah when im high i smoke sooo much and all i study is if the drugs are making me infertile..which i know im not....all i use is cocaine powder and alcohol(beer or white wine)im pretty depressed im 29 and just feel like ill never get married have kids settledown due to my use....
