Need help/opinions on Xanax/Adderall and opinions/suggestions

[XnX_2.0]

Ok ill try to keep this straight forward but need to cover everything. I have had extreme anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, depression really since as long as i can remember, im 34 now, can remember feeling this way since i was i guess 10 years old roughly. I do not drink alcohol. I was a heavy marijuana smoker from 19-25. I am educated, i have a bachelors degree in IT but have always had problems keeping jobs due to anxiety, stress, long working hours and general BS office politics. Anyway after i quit smoking marijuana, id say a year after i had some major dental work done and was prescribed hydrocodone and oxys. Had never had them before. I pretty instantly became addicted due to them because they crushed my anxiety and i felt relaxed, no anxiety, and happy for the first time really in my life. Fast forward 3 years and things were bad, i had a good job but all my money went to pain pills. I decided to go the suboxone route. I had several good friends who suboxone worked for, but it did nothing for my anxiety. The suboxone clinic i went to , to say the least was all about $. A month in I was givin 8mgs a day of xanax and 90 mgs of adderall ir along with 32 mgs of suboxone. I didnt much use the xanax, but the adderall completely chainged me. I had been so worn out from being sedated from the pain pills, the anxiety, the worrying about $ and keeping my job. I was also seeing a phyciatrist who knew my situation and diagnosed me with ADHD, which is how i was able to be prescribed adderall, but the suboxone dr said well i can write it for you so you dont have to see 2 doctors. As time went on the xanax use increased, and i became addicted to that as well. Anyway about a year ago the sub dr cut everyone at the clinic off xanax , adderall , and whatever else he was prescribing except suboxone. Needless to say i ended up losing my job, being hospitilized from having seizures, I ended up suicidal and tried to kill myself taking everything i had in med cabinet, a bottle of paxil, over a 100 lamictals, i think 4 or 5 8mg subutex, and 30 or 40 mgs of xanax. I dont remember this but i know what i had and when i was found all the bottles were around me empty. I didnt wake up for 4 or 5 days, i dont remember just remember my brother shaking me to wake me up, he is a doctor. Anyway, theres more details but they dont really matter as far as this post goes. I was off everything for 4 months. Id say i was on the xanax/adderall from sub doctor for over 2 years, and on/off every other benzo for 3 years prior, never long enough or high enough dose to become addicted as i was. Any way i am now back on xanax 2 mgs daily and 40 mgs adderall and 10mg dex ir daily. It seems to me that xanax/adderall is basically one med. As in neither work without the other. ive tried ativan, klonapin, valium inplace of xanax with the adderall and it feels like i go right back into my panic attacks and GAD. Same with adderall, been on the XR, vyvanse and unless its ir xanax and adderall im a mess. I do struggle to make it until refill with both meds but generally its only a few days. Has anyone else experience the same thing? even differet meds curious if anyone else has the same issues that only 1 or 2 or whatever meds work but only those exact meds. I quit just reading other peoples story because i realized everyone is different, and most people posting are probobly younger, and dont have prescriptions for these meds, and are not diagnosed with the disorders these meds are designed for, and also generally dont know what they are talking about. Im not a dr but am very informed what these meds do to you, how they work on the brain and such. Anyway any feedback is much appreciated. Also i was able to quit the suboxone relativly easy, havent had a pain pill since, dont even think about them or have any desire to take any.

 

[thelung]

it sounds like your addicted to, or at least dependant on the amphetamines you are prescribed. Uppers are notorious for causing/triggering panic and anxiety...if you "struggle to make it until refill with both meds" you might want to consider a different approach for treating your ADD/ADHD. I think if you stopped taking the amphetamines , your anxiety/panic problem would be much easier to treat. im not a doctor either, this is just my opinion on the matter. good luck my friend!