Hi All,
I am in a predicament. I need to figure out if I am wasting my time or this is salvageable. 3-4 months ago, a former coworker in my lab had me text her sister in Las Vegas (I am in North Carolina). She wanted us to start dating. So I texted, and we hit it off great. I did not meet her face to face for almost 2 months. She is FA for an airline. She added me to her flight benefits so I could come visit her in LV when her airline started flying of NC to LV mid-November.
Before that, I drove to Kentucky to see her the night she was there for an overnight, we had sex twice, and I drove back to NC the NEXT day to meet up with her as the charter was in Raleigh for the next day.
Not long after that, we had indicated to each other we were in love, & she wanted me to move to LV. And talked a lot about it.
this past week I went to LV to visit her & her roommate. I gave her a new MacBook for her kid & herself I had laying around, as I got an even better one, and she needed a new laptop. We got a long fine, until Thursday night. We were both drinking and I felt I was barely getting attention. Thats when the shit hit the fan. We got in a huge argument and she said she needed space. The next morning she texted me from work and said it was best I went home. I texted her back I loved her very much and hope we could fix this problem. And also even if not I still wanted to be friends with her, as she is a pretty cool girl.So of course I leave and get a hotel. While at the airport 2 days later I get a text from her saying what crazy went down the other night.
Then she said the part thats confusing me. "we can be friends but thats it for now". What does FOR NOW mean? I didn't want to push her further away by making her define her sentence. But does FOR NOW sound hopeful? And she told me her 13yo daughter was pretty mad at her the other night because I wasn't there.
Here are some things about her that may help: she's NEVER had a good relationship with a man. She has 3 children, she 38 and about to become a grandmother. She had to file for bankruptcy because her ex-husband left her with a tonne of debt. None of this bothered me, as I truly do love her. This baggage means nothing to me in the grand scheme.
I feel like maybe she is not used to being treated nicely. But I am backing off now, and only texting her when she texts me (she texted me happy birthday today and some light banter).
In you're opinion, how is the best way to approach this? Like I said, I am thrown off by the phrase "we can be friends, but thats it for now".
I appreciate you taking the time to read this colossal shitstorm and any ideas, opinions, or insights are greatly appreciated.
UPDATE: So she texted me last night & said she felt horrible about what she did. She wants to date me again but slower this time. I just need to make sure I don't get too anxious and do anything to make it move faster than she's ready for....
I am in a predicament. I need to figure out if I am wasting my time or this is salvageable. 3-4 months ago, a former coworker in my lab had me text her sister in Las Vegas (I am in North Carolina). She wanted us to start dating. So I texted, and we hit it off great. I did not meet her face to face for almost 2 months. She is FA for an airline. She added me to her flight benefits so I could come visit her in LV when her airline started flying of NC to LV mid-November.
Before that, I drove to Kentucky to see her the night she was there for an overnight, we had sex twice, and I drove back to NC the NEXT day to meet up with her as the charter was in Raleigh for the next day.
Not long after that, we had indicated to each other we were in love, & she wanted me to move to LV. And talked a lot about it.
this past week I went to LV to visit her & her roommate. I gave her a new MacBook for her kid & herself I had laying around, as I got an even better one, and she needed a new laptop. We got a long fine, until Thursday night. We were both drinking and I felt I was barely getting attention. Thats when the shit hit the fan. We got in a huge argument and she said she needed space. The next morning she texted me from work and said it was best I went home. I texted her back I loved her very much and hope we could fix this problem. And also even if not I still wanted to be friends with her, as she is a pretty cool girl.So of course I leave and get a hotel. While at the airport 2 days later I get a text from her saying what crazy went down the other night.
Then she said the part thats confusing me. "we can be friends but thats it for now". What does FOR NOW mean? I didn't want to push her further away by making her define her sentence. But does FOR NOW sound hopeful? And she told me her 13yo daughter was pretty mad at her the other night because I wasn't there.
Here are some things about her that may help: she's NEVER had a good relationship with a man. She has 3 children, she 38 and about to become a grandmother. She had to file for bankruptcy because her ex-husband left her with a tonne of debt. None of this bothered me, as I truly do love her. This baggage means nothing to me in the grand scheme.
I feel like maybe she is not used to being treated nicely. But I am backing off now, and only texting her when she texts me (she texted me happy birthday today and some light banter).
In you're opinion, how is the best way to approach this? Like I said, I am thrown off by the phrase "we can be friends, but thats it for now".
I appreciate you taking the time to read this colossal shitstorm and any ideas, opinions, or insights are greatly appreciated.
UPDATE: So she texted me last night & said she felt horrible about what she did. She wants to date me again but slower this time. I just need to make sure I don't get too anxious and do anything to make it move faster than she's ready for....
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