Need help about going from Methadone to Suboxone - Time sensitive, need help asap pls

[nocturnelle]

Ok, I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. Relapsed for a few weeks onto heroin after a year clean. Was on suboxone but chose (stupidly) to go to an outpatient methadone clinic for what was supposed to be a short term detox, rather than go back onto suboxone. Thought this would be better since I was told the first dose of methadone would have me feeling well. Bad move, because I was sick as anything for a week, missed work, just a big mess. At the end of that first week I was told by a medical professional at the clinic that since I was still feeling withdrawl I could go back onto suboxone. NO NO NO NO... That was so wrong. Never have I experienced precipitated withdrawl hell like that. And I had to use just to feel semi decent and go to work. I'm blocked from calling out unless I'm very ill and have a doctors note. So went to the clinic the next day, refused to dose over 50mgs because I don't want to be on it long term, even though they keep telling me to go up to at least 100. The place is pure BS, bad counseling, bad groups, nothing to be learned from them. Then the doctor told me I could taper down by 1mg/day and get off it. Again, horrible idea, because by 39mgs I was sweating and shaking and hadn't slept for 2 days. Stopped the taper but it took a few days for them to let me go back up, and it was only by 5mgs. Now finally back up to 50mgs again, but I want to get out of there. Money, transportation, complete distrust in their medical specialists, fighting, shadiness by other patients, the fact that on only 50mgs I'm a sleepy lazy zombie all day and then by nightime I'm having withdrawl sypmtoms and sleep issues and the next morning I'm drenched in sweat rushing to the clinic (so I can't go up and be even more tired and unmotivated, yet it's only holding me 12 or so hours, which is a catch 22 that no one can seem to fix for me), all make me need to leave. I just want to go back on suboxone because I was much happier. Albeit I used on top of it, but I can do the same ting on methadone. Getting clean is on me and no medication is going to do it for me. I've already got an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow, and trying to get into their counseling program as well since it's much more highly regarded than the methadone clinic's.

So my ACTUAL question is: I've read other people SAY you can take short acting opiates for 72 hours, then wait 24 hours and then go onto a small dose of suboxone. But I've never read anyone who actually wrote about their experience and how well or even if it worked at all. I've skipped 2 days at the methadone clinic because I can't risk trying to cheek it and getting caught and having to swallow it, then ruining the few days I've had off it. This morning was 72 hours without methadone, but using heroin during that time. Since my last few bags were done early this morning, so if I go until tomorrow morning with nothing then I'll have 4 days off methadone and 1 day off heroin. So can I take a small bit of suboxone tomorrow morning safely? And then continue on suboxone? I kind of need to know ASAP because if I don't go to the clinic tomorrow, I'm considered AWOL or AMA and have to get re asessed and put on half my regular dose, which would be very very bad for me and cause me to lose my job. So if going back on the suboxone is not an option tomorrow, then I HAVE to get to the clinic. I'm terrified of precipitated withdrawl, I mean TERRIFIED. Worst experience of my life. And only ever had it from going onto subs after methadone, never with heroin. BUT, I've gone back onto subs from heroin and experienced what I think were regular withdrawl symptoms (though they were still pretty frigging awful) and I didn't get better for a good week, so maybe I did something wrong? I'm just in a really effed up position because I HAVE to go to work and I'm in a job where I'm interacting with customers all day, and have to be a well dressed, well groomed, smiling, happy, bubbly little cheerleader type. And all customers get surveys, and these rich a-holes have nothing better to do than rip apart "the help" for the tiniest thing they don't like. I got flack from one girl about my "annoying and grating philly accent", and I'm from the suburbs! Bad surveys = Getting written up/fired, so I have to be ON POINT. Losing my job means losing my place to live. Also FYI, I got the subs from my doctor, but he's clueless on making the switch, like all sub doctors are. But I really really want this to work because I'm so tired from this methadone, tired of the BS at the clinic, rushing there every morning sick as hell and then being told I have to sit for an hour because my counselor wants to talk to me for no reason, especially when I have to be to work. Plus I overdrew my account to get enough dope to get me through the few days without he methadone, and I haven't been actually getting high off of it, or really even liking doing it, my hands are all messed up and swollen, I just hope this wasn't all for nothing, and I can still savage something good from this mess. I just really need advice, and I know its totally last minute. I was on drugs.com but my post got flagged and removed for "ilicit drug use", even though it was about me STOPPING using and how much I hated it. So I'm here now and I need help guys. Anything, like ANYTHING would be appreciated. I'm so sick of disappointing my family (who are always there for me when no one else is, and the only people who love me unconditionally, or at all) and I just want to work a program and get myself right and live a boring, normal semi peaceful life. Ok, I'm shutting up now! Thanks!!!!

 

[aq.]

homeless > bdd

 

[crzydiamond]

I think you should be ok. That said, everyone is different and no one can tell you with certainty exactly how long you'll need. From what you say though it sounds like you are a rapid metabolizer of methadone (some people it doesn't last 24 hours for and they sometime dose 2x a day at smaller doses) If you are then it's most likely just about clear. The other thing in your favor is you haven't been on it long term. When it builds up in the system (fat tissues) it takes longer to get it out of the body. You haven't been on it that long so most likely you don't need a long time off of it.

Usually they suggest being at 30 mg or less of methadone to switch. But that's for chronic methadone--ppl who've been on for some time. What you are on for a short time is fairly comparable.

Best thing I can say is if you choose to use the sub, start small. Start with a mg and see what happens. You definitely do not want to start with a whole strip. If you start small and wd hits, it'll be much better than precip wd on 8 mg.

Good luck to you. If you choose to stay on methadone look into split dosing. That could also benefit you.

 

[nocturnelle]

Thank you sooooo much for responding! I was so sick during work yesterday that I did more dope at 3pm. Don't know why it's not even keeping me well now. Maybe since it's been over 72 hours I'm feeling some methadone wirhdrawl now? Anyway, it's been 18 hours clean and I have major anxiety, rumbling stomach, a little sweaty/feverish feeling.. I want to take 1mg sub but I'm so afraid of pwd.. I have to find out soon enough I guess because I need to know if I should go to the clinic today or not. Oh, also they don't offer split dosing until you hit 150mg+. Don't think I'd make it there. Really trying to stay positive about this. I have a small amount of dope left, enough for one hit. That's my emergency backup in case pwd happens, but my addict brain is telling me to just do it now and enjoy it, then go back on methadone. I don't want to waste the time and money I've put out to reach my goal of being on subs again and away from methadone. Sick of being a zombie, with dope and with methadone.

 

[nocturnelle]

Took 1mg about 15 minutes ago. Don't feel that sweat pouring out of my body pwd feeling I've had before, but don't feel any better either. Still terrible anxiety, pain, stomach, so tired I can't keep my eyes open but can't sleep either. Just a sh*talk to you feeling. I have a bunch of stuff I have to do today, and I can't even bring myself to shower. Can I take more suboxone (actually it's subutex since I do have both)? Or do I just have to find some way to ride this out? Considering going to the clinic, but then I'll be back on methadone and I'll prob have to go up to get it to hold me 24 hours since there's no split dosing.. Should I do the emergency dope I have left and then start suboxone again tomorrow (then I'll have it in my system already from today) or is that just making things worse?

 

[thismighthurtabit]

15 mins is quite possibly not enough time for the medication to have taken effect. Keep us updated but I would wait things out for a bit.

 

[nocturnelle]

Well I'm an idiot and keeping that emergency dope was a horrible idea. After an hour I was still feeling bad so I did it. It didn't even make me feel 100% better, let alone high. Though I am semi thankful that I haven't been able to get high most of this time doing it the past few days. I get a weird tingly rush, and few times blacked out, which just scared me. So now I guess I have to wait until later tonight or tomorrow morning to try the suboxone again. I'm So angry at myself, especially since I have to work first thing tomorrow morning, so if I do get into pwd, or the subs don't work, I'm beyond screwed. I don't know what to do now, and my anxiety level is through the roof. I don't even have enough money to get very much more dope for another backup shot in case I do have pwd, and I'm afraid I'll just do it anyway and prolong the inevitable. But then I'm so scared of getting sick and not being able to go into work when im opening and closing the store alone and it can't open without me. So lost, anxious, and depressed right now. I'm like paralyzed with it, don't even want to move. It's even worse than it usually is. Can't even go back to the clinic because I blew that, unless I want a halved dose and to be yelled at by the staff. Even worse, I'm seeing my parents tomorrow, and I'm supposed to stay at their house for New Years! All I want is to be back on suboxone and stay clean, and I know that's on me, and I feel like if I could get through withdrawl then I'd be ok, but I don't know how I can do that without missing work.

 

[crzydiamond]

Once you took the mg if you weren't having pwd you prob s should've just titrated the sub dose up. But what to do going forward? As I see it you have 2 options: wait until you think you'd be in the clear from the h and again try the sub. Start with 1 mg just to make sure. If you don't get pwd after a half hour or so take another mg. Repeat until you feel some relief, keeping in mind that sometimes it takes a few days on subs til you feel normal.

Your other choice is to back to the clinic at your half dose n go back up to a comfortable dose, once you have stabilized then you can start a slow detox. You might have to stay at a comfortable dose for a few weeks before starting to detox.

FYI the methadone wds generally don't kick in til like day 2 or 3 for most people. For me personally heroin doesn't completely help with methadone wds.

Either way I know you are stressed but it's ok. Just make a decision and stick to it. And really if worse comes to worse go see a dr and get an excuse and stay home for a few days. Your life is more important than any job

 

[nocturnelle]

How long do you think would be a good time to wait for the subs? I know everyone is different and there's no 100% answer. Somehow I already feel like dirt.

 

[nocturnelle]

Gave into going back to the clinic because I'm afraid to run out of the few suboxone I have left and don't get paid until the 9th. What a waste of time and money. And now I'll have a halved dose and feel like dirt for days. I'm So scared of my parents finding out and hurting them. I hate that I do this to myself. Even the psychiatrist I saw yesterday said how screwed up I am and he doesn't even know what to do with me. I really feel like there's no way out of this endless anxiety and depression that I've suffered with for going on 12 years now.

 

[thismighthurtabit]

You're just gonna have to feel shitty for a day or two. Honestly. It's clear you want to end up back on subs. The transition isn't going to be perfectly smooth. You just have to pick one and stick to it before you drive yourself even crazier.