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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Need drug advice

K

Kronic King

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 4, 2010
Messages
94
Hello bluelight! I'm not so much a new member but I didn't know where else to post this and it's kinda a introduction to me so I guess I'll post it here. I need some advice on drugs. I'm only 15 right now (I didn't see a age limit for these forums so I think it's ok to post that). Anyways, when i was 13 I started smoking weed. At first just a couple weekends a month. By summer it was 2-3 times a week. When school started back again I said it would go back to weekends. I started to sell bud so I would always have some to smoke. I turned 14 in November. I was smoking about 5 times a week now. That continued through out all of 8th grade. That summer I smoked everyday, usually at least twice a day. I would drink about 3 times a week. I saw no problems with that. Then came freshman year. At the beginin of the year i got curious and tried to get some ecstasy. I couldn't get it and ended up getting percocet. I was still 14 and started doing various pills (perc's, adderall, Xanax) about once or twice a week. By the time I was 15 I has a good hook up for adderall and Xanax and ended up doing one of the two every school day. I still was smoking daily. I was doing ok ok school (c's and b's). I ended up overdosing on Xanax during Christmas break (15 mg's in a hour). I stopped pills for a little. By spring I was doing pills once a week. I didnt see much of a problem with it. In may I did acid my first time. I have done it 8 times sense. I did well on my finals and now it's summer. A few weeks ago I did coke my first time. I dropped 400 dollars on it my first week, and 300 sense. I haven't done it in about 5 days and am not addicted, it's just something fun. The reason I'm asking for advice is because I want to he suceful in life and have a good future. My worry is that I'm starting all this stuff way to young. I don't want to be a coke head an have promised I will never do crack, heroin or meth. But at the rate I am going I dot know if that will be the case. My question now is what should I do? Should I stay away from some drugs and others are fine at my age still? I get drug tested for week so I stopped smoking by the way. So that's all, im curious to see what everyones opinions are!
 
Stay off drugs if you are getting drug tested.

This is kind of an NMI post, except it is more of a BDD post, so I'll send it there.

If you want to come back to NMI to tell us a little about yourself, please do. :)
 
Kronic King said:
The reason I'm asking for advice is because I want to he suceful in life and have a good future. My worry is that I'm starting all this stuff way to young. I don't want to be a coke head an have promised I will never do crack, heroin or meth. But at the rate I am going I dot know if that will be the case. My question now is what should I do? Should I stay away from some drugs and others are fine at my age still? I get drug tested for week so I stopped smoking by the way. So that's all, im curious to see what everyones opinions are!
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Hi Kronic King, welcome to BL and to BDD in particular! <3

I read your whole post, and I'm sure it will sound familiar to a lot of people. Yes, you have started young, but a lot of people do - or follow the same pattern you did just a bit later in life. You are definitely not alone..

It's brilliant that you have the self-awareness to realise that your drug use is possibly becoming a problem, and that you recognise that you want a successful life and that being a drug addict would make that difficult. Honestly, self-denial is so common, the fact that you seem to have a very mature attitude and understanding of yourself is just fantastic :D

I think it does sound like your drug use is escalating. Your options as I see it are continue as you are, and risk becoming an addict at a young age; try to cut back and use occasionally; or take a sabbatical and have a period where you don't take any drugs at all.

My choice would be the last option, as it can be hard cutting back but still taking stuff - I don't have much self control so I know I'd slip back into using too much. Also, by having a time where you are drug-free, you can really assess what impact the drugs had on your life. When I stopped smoking weed I couldn't believe how much more motivated I felt and how easier it was to concentrate at college - where as at the time I didn't think it was having any detrimental effects at all. It can really open your eyes and give you a chance to see who you are without drugs. A break from drugs would also save you money too!!!

As you've been using drugs from such a young age, through your formative years, I really think it'd be good to take a break and see who you are without them :)

It doesn't have to be forever - you could use the time to work out a safe and realistic drug "schedule", for example only at weekends, or once or twice a month, or whatever works for you.. or you may decide you don't want them in your life at all. Just remember, drug use should be fun and safe - if the negatives are outweighing the positives it is definitely time to evaluate the situation.. I have a successful career in a field I love, I got myself through years of University, while taking drugs recreationally but sensibly and sporadically - and when I slipped up at Uni it always gave me the kick I needed to start being sensible again.

Also, as CaptainHeroin said, if you have a drugs test coming up you obviously need to stay off the drugs so you test negative - giving you the perfect time to have your sabbatical :)

Good luck! And don't worry too much - you are not alone, and you have a lot more common sense and self-awareness than most people seem to, so I think you are going to be fine :)<3

edit: there is some debate and new research at the moment on the effect of drugs on developing brains (this means up to the age of 25 really) so that's another reason to slow down a bit - although I was much younger than 25 when I started (am 27 now) and seem to be okay, haha. Can't find a link to the journal article I'm afraid :(
 
Haha I was going to pos this in BBD but made a last minute discission not to! Thank you Effie for all of that. I want to just stop coke and not get into that, save that for when im older. I am only getting tested for weed and heroin (kinda weird combination if you ask me...) so that's why I don't smoke anymore. The only drug I want to still do is the acid because every time i use it it chafes my perspective on something in my life in a positive way. No other drug has done this for me. If i could get ecstasy I would probably do that too but nobody i know can get it except one who who robbed me and made me walk 8 miles home once. I think I will try cutting back to only acid and smoking the day after my drug test. If I can't do it I will try stopping all together, probably when school starts so I can focus on football. Would you say that if I go at this rate in college I was being doing worse stuff just because I've tried so many things most people wait to use in college?
 
That sounds sensible. Just be aware that smoking every day can have effects you don't notice at the time.. keep an eye out for lethargy/poor concentration at school or college, and remember if you smoke with tobacco you are not doing your lungs any favours! I miss a smoke, I had to stop daily but still indulge from time to time, tis so relaxing :) and as for acid - it is absolutely wonderful for positive, life changing experiences - I see now harm in occasional use of it at all! In fact if I was in charge I'd make it compulsory, haha ;)

I don't think that starting young will mean you will end up on harder drugs at all. It's a personal choice where you draw the line; in fact, being at college will probably make you less likely to as you won't want to fuck it up and it will give you some focus :)

You'll be able to educate all the new college students on how to use drugs safely, haha! You might find you join in with then, you might feel you have outgrown it or it is having a bad effect on you.. there will be plenty of non-drug users in college too.

I really would try not to worry - if you have the desire and determination not to try harder drugs then I very much doubt being in a college environment will undermine that :)

ps don't get robbed buying drugs!! /harm reduction haha

pps your football will be another great thing that will help stop drugs from overtaking your life. Being passionate about something and not wanting to mess it up is the best way to not lose yourself in drugs, I find..
 
If you don't want to be a coke head/ addicted to various drugs, then don't do them. That is the only way to make sure. Good luck man.
 
Well I find coke very fun, just hard to use responsiblly, and that's how intend to use it. And you guys are very right, I keep thinking that just because in college I'll have the hook up for lots of things I'll end up going overboard but I can use them responsibly if I'm motivated enough and have enough self controll
 
Be aware than once you take coke self-restraint tends to fly out of the window - as you have noticed!! Same with a lot of drugs, but anything that releases dopamine in your brain will make you want more more more! Alcohol can also cause people to lose all common sense.. coke is a hard one to have a little bit of and then stop, which is why it is more suited to occasional use IMO, where as I find it easy to have a drink or a spliff regularly and just stop at one. Mostly anyway ;)

Am not saying this will happen to you - just be aware of it, perhaps make the cocaine an occasional thing and make sure you only have enough money with you to buy what you can afford..

I went a lil crazy in my first year at University, with all the freedom and new people intent on getting wrecked, but we all soon realised we needed a balance and managed to keep it to a sensible level. Just keep reminding yourself why you are there and why you really don't want to fuck up :)

Plus coke costs a lot of money if you have a big binge! I would imagine you will need every penny you have as a student, I was constantly broke..

Anyway. Best of luck, I really think you will be okay :) <3
 
It all begins as just a thing you're going to use here and there. You know responsibly and everything. You still are going to go to school and do well. And not have a drug addiction. I know that sounds like an excellent plan but a lot of the times it doesn't work out that way. I'm seventeen years old and started getting into drugs when I was fifteen and I remember smoking a cigarette, weed and drinking alcohol for the first time in one day... Damn couldn't believe I did it but it was fun. Got into psychedelics and damn that was an experience. Then started getting into pills, holy sweet mother of god those were good.... damn too good. I knew at that point I had to look at what I was doing because you know I want to graduate and go to college.... I didn't want to be a druggie. So then I stopped doing pills for a little...maybe here and there but faster than I knew it I was doing it everyday. Fifteen with an opiate addiction....and sixteen man that year was crazy with all the drugs I did.. I even fucked my liver up at one point.... but I didn't care. Then it got to the point I was missing a lot of days of school, I still managed to get through it and keep my grades up but it was fucking hard, believe me and most people wouldn't be able to do it. Well anyways I finally realized I had to give up the drugs because I looked in the mirror one day, pale as fuck and sickly and thought whoa!!! What happened to the kid I use to be?! What happened to the kid who said she would never touch drugs, not even smoke weed?! What happened to the kid who was going to make something of herself.... but damn just in a blink of an eye my whole life was changed. Trust me I fixed myself up but still struggle everyday. I'm not as bad as I use to be but that addiction is right around the corner.... I had to struggle to graduate high school and I'm surprised I even made it through that. Now it's time for college and I know I can't let drugs take my life over like it did once before. Anyways you probably are thinking what the hell or something but all I'm saying is I once was you. Trying all these drugs and smoking weed at fifteen and yeah it's good and all at first but it doesn't stay that way for long. Then you have to struggle everyday and fight to even walk your ass to the bus because all you wanna do is stay home and get high... or the withdrawals suck so much you just wanna lay in bed and die. Do you want all that on your shoulders at such a young age? Do you want to make your life harder than it already is? I don't think so. So change your ways before it's too late. Didn't sugar coat anything... and really I'm not going to act like doing all these drugs was okay at such a young age... it's just something a fifteen year old shouldn't be dealing with. Yet alone anyone but we still ended up doing it but think about where you could end up with drugs or without. Where do you honestly see yourself ending up?
 
That's what's hard for me, I keep saying oh I'll be fine. I've had problems but I'll not get into a big addiction and I'll graduate and make it to college but I don't know. Six grade I was saying I would never do drugs and has all A's in school. Seventh I said I'd only smoke weed and 8th I was offered acid and all that shit I'll be honest, I thought you would had to be crazy to do that shit. I was immature then though. I never though I would ever try pills, and deffinetly not overdose before I was even 15. So I really dont know what to expect. I got a couple D's this year when I was doing Xanax almost everyday but still managed to end the year with a 3.14 average. So I think i am still doing well but I don't know
 
Kronic King said:
That's what's hard for me, I keep saying oh I'll be fine. I've had problems but I'll not get into a big addiction and I'll graduate and make it to college but I don't know. Six grade I was saying I would never do drugs and has all A's in school. Seventh I said I'd only smoke weed and 8th I was offered acid and all that shit I'll be honest, I thought you would had to be crazy to do that shit. I was immature then though. I never though I would ever try pills, and deffinetly not overdose before I was even 15. So I really dont know what to expect. I got a couple D's this year when I was doing Xanax almost everyday but still managed to end the year with a 3.14 average. So I think i am still doing well but I don't know
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I honestly think you know the answer (even though you don't think so). I can tell just by reading this above post. You know what's right for you but then again you think it might still be okay to continue on.... just maybe but really is it? I don't think so. Please think long and hard about this. I wish you the best of luck. You're doing well in school and you could get into certain colleges with that gpa....just think if you start devoting more time to school where you could end up and what type of grades. I can tell you're a intelligent person and honestly I can see you making the right choice for you. Trust me I wish everyday that I could go back and change things but I can't... you still have time to rethink things though and change the road you're. Again I wish you the best.
 
Hello again! Not sure if anyone is gonna check this post again cuz update disrupted it but I decided to take a break from everything except acid (not to often) because it is undetectable. I also am going to stop dealing for a good while too
 
Kronic King said:
but I can use them responsibly if I'm motivated enough and have enough self controll
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It's always nice to see that attitude among those new to the drug world. Hint: this lifestyle just doesn't work that way. This often falls on deaf ears, but since you came here asking for advice let me share a story: I was your age when I started doing "real" drugs (well, 15-16ish). I used Xanax, Valium, Klonopin for "fun", on weekends and with friends. I did this for years with few problems. I went to university in Vancouver where it's easy to find anything you want on the streets. I tried coke, morphine, hydromorphone, oxycodone, all sorts of benzos and even snorted heroin. I never got addicted and had no problem stopping for weeks at a time because I was too lazy to go downtown to pick up more drugs.

I moved to Toronto for the summer and my drug usage pretty much stopped. I didn't have any hook-ups so I didn't do drugs. Then I read that you could get high off poppy pods and seeds. I was skeptical, but I washed 500g of poppy seeds that you can buy here in bulk. I guess the stores here sell the good, unwashed kind because I got an amazing morphine-like high that lasted several hours. Once again, for several months I'd drink my 'poppy seed tea' once or twice a week. I was pretty damn cock-sure of myself. After all, here I was, an experienced drug user. Someone's who's tried heroin and didn't get addicted. What the fuck could little poppy seeds do? Want to know what happened? One particularly boring week I did PST for three days in a row. The next day I had some stuff to do but I noticed I had a runny nose, watery eyes and general unease. I was in opiate withdrawal. If I stopped then, I probably would have had a mild case of W/D for a couple of days and got over it. But I didn't. I kept going, absolutely sure that someone as bright as me could never get addicted.

That was one year ago. I haven't stopped taking opiates since. I've got a good job so I'm a high functioning addict but in the past few months I've blown thousands of dollars on opiates. I don't know how much money I spent this year because I'm afraid to add it all up. Probably close to $15,000. I no longer do poppy seed tea unless I have no other choice because it simply doesn't get me high anymore, just functioning. A couple of weeks ago I blew through 400mg of IV hydromorphone (Dilaudid) in less than 5 days. Last Friday I got 10 x 80mg oxycontins. It's now Monday and I've got two left. I'm determined to try to taper off to zero using the 160mg oxycontin I have left, but I'm no longer stupid enough to be 100% certain it will work.

Drugs have a way of lulling you into a false sense of security. You try coke, you try heroin, you try oxy and you do them for months without getting addicted. So you start to think you're invincible.

Point of my story? If you're set on doing drugs, don't ever stop monitoring your usage and taking breaks from your drug usage. If you find that you need that line of coke to function or that Xanax to go to a party, then take a break. If you find that you can't take a break, it might be already too late.

Good luck. Welcome to BL.
 
Glad you made the decision to take a break. At the very least it can't hurt. And it's a helpful way of shifting your pattern of use if you do decide to return to using certain substances in the future.

I think the most reasonable approach is always to admit that the future is uncertain. If you continue to get high, it might escalate to levels you never thought it would. Or you might just get bored and stop one day without difficulty. It's impossible to know. Based on your previous experience you know that you do have it in you to cross certain boundaries that you have set for yourself, so that is one thing to watch out for.
 
Thanks for sharing that story with me. please don't incriminate yourself by talking about dealing - Mugz
 
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My bad, thanks mugz. I have a diff question then. So I hang out with the "druggies". I'm pretty good friends with most of them, some better then other. Not that I'm going clean I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should try hanging out with different people that would make it easier for me. My only problem is because I hang out with these kids some people dont want to hang out with me because they think that's all I do and I will get them in trouble or brig them down in some way. So I really dont know what to do
 
maybe put this in SLR? it is about his relationships.

Why don't you try to do stuff with your other friends, like just don't try to hang out, go do something, and they will see that you aren't a "druggie"
 
Hi. I know how you feel. I started smoking weed/xanax at 16. Now im 20 and have a good job paying 18/hr and am stilll in school with a great GPA. if you can try and work hard and push the fein/addiction aside you can do whatever you want. Your so young, the world is at your hands, and I know it feels hard to succeed but you can with the right mindset. I am honestly a functional drug/alcohol addict. yes, i have bad vices but I still take school seriously. Just remember no one can take your education/degree away from you. You gotta keep strong and stay motivated & try to not let this shit control your life. I know this is an old post but try and be productive and better yourself even if you're still using.
 
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