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Need advice what to do about my opiate addiction

tackyspiral

tackyspiral

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2006
Messages
2,657
Location
rocky mountains
Ok i am a 22 year old college student i have currently moved back in with my parents because my life kinda fell apart due to my iv heroin problems
I was on suboxone maintenance for 2 years it worked great for a while and then i got it in my head that i could just indulge myself for one day and everything fell apart this happened while i was taking a very minimal dose and contrary to my doctors orders i never went back to a full dose.......now i am starting to think that maybe if i had i would have been ok anyway i ended up going to detox after a close friend od'd and died.... I gave him the rig and we had the same dealer
Detox was awful and a total trainwreck i was pulled off of all my meds which of course didnt fucking end well i am still angry a lil bit
now my parents who are doctors btw now both seem to feel i should not go back on everything believe me i had to fight to get my vyvanse back even the fiornal wasnt handed to me
Now to the point i thought you needed a lil background forgive me if its too much but i truly believe i should go back on suboxone maintenance or perhaps methadone
I will say i am not in physical withdrawl but my cravings r so intense however because i am in a small town in colorado and not in miami its not real easy whatsoever to act on my cravings but it still feels like shit and we all know eventually i will get the opportunity and addiction is definatly always going to be waiting
Let me just add that NA is not my answer spent time in the program really really not my thing

Soooo help me what should i do try to get on methadone or back on suboxone and if thats the case how do i sell it to my parents who are now very against it???
 
Look honestly, I don't know if I want to believe in this long-acting opiate replacement therapy. It seems good on paper, and I'm sure it's worked for many people.. but for the others? The withdrawals felt from heroin are nothing like methadone which can last a FULL month. Can you imagine?!

Some may disagree, but I believe that in order for your body to ever learn to function without opiates, you need to stop taking them. Hows your body going to re-learn to be happy with it's endorphins (home made morphine baybeh) if it's still getting minimal amounts of opiates every day? Maybe I'm wrong and someone could educate me on that one
 
You have a point and in a way maybe i am looking for the easy way out
And the irony of it is that for me kicking those two yrs of suboxone maintenance was absolute hell and maybe the hardest most brutal not to mention drawn out experience of my life granted it really could have beem done much more gently but basically i got through it almost completely was completely drug free for about a month or so and then started again
I am obsessing alot but sometimes now that i think about it i would settle for shooting some coke i Really want to stick a needle in my arm its sick i know
Also i tried kratom i like it but in a wierd way almost made cravings worse
 
Tacky, you're clean at the minute, that right? If so why would you want to go back to opiates knowing you've got all this to do again and deal with at some point in the future. It's no solution. Just putting things off, which sometimes is the right thing to do as you try and get yourself stable, but only when you've got a habit threatening to spiral out of control.

Not sure how long you've been clean, but I promise you the cravings will pass, in time. It takes a while, and depends very much on how successful you've been in making positive changes to your life, and finding something to with your time and energy that's properly rewarding. If you're worried you'll give in to the cravings and head back down into addiction maybe look at taking Naltrexone for a few months, just to help you move forward without opiates or the risk of relapse. Much better solution than diving back into a habit, even if it's a stable maintained one.
 
Hey Tacky im with you man im 23 and on suboxone after a nasty heroin addiction. Everyone always says im to young to be a lifer with maintenance drugs they may be right but they are not me so how could they know? I think you need to do what is right for you absolute sobriety isnt for everyone thats for damn sure. however I will say that drugs arent going anywhere they will be around your whole life if you need them so I wouldnt stress about being sober for now maybe give it some time and see how you feel in a month or two if you are still going crazy then go get on done or subs. I dont really have any answers cause im as fucked up as you are. Hang in there man it sounds like you are a strong person.
 
Dude I'm in the same boat. 22 finished. College living with my parents again. I relapsed after 45 days in treatment and my family doesn't know. I've been on s 3 month binge with opana and some H opposed to my usual DoC of Iv/sniffed oxy.

My problem is that I just can't control it. I'm not the type of user some are, where they can buy 10 pills and say 2 get u high, most people think "ok that's 5 uses" for me I'd take me all at once knowing I will be sick tomorrow rather than even separating me into 2 days. No self control

But after treatment I was clean for 3 months and during that time I noticed as long as I was active- working out, work, etc- I didn't crave. And I was on no maintenance meds. The SECOND I let the idea creep in that maybbbbe I could use once, just once again, it was over. Sure not that second, but within a month I was using to the point where I would get dope sick if I went a day off. So my opinion is that if the subs kept you "clean" (from other opiates etc) then use them but have a plan to taper after a certain time period.

I think docs who keep people on subs for years re retarded, eventually everyone on maintenance needs to make a choice- either stay in suboxone the rest of your life, taper down and get in a program to get clean after, or I back to using and start the whole cycle again. Tonight is my last night of use, so I'm preparing to be sick but I'm just sick of the cycle, when I was clean I was honestly the happiest I've been in years, doing everything I loved and in amazing shape. It's a pretty bold statement that I didn't believe for a while, but a day clean is better than a day high. Obviously that's not true when your TRYING to get clean cuz being sick is something I wouldn't wish on the devil himself, but you know what I mean

Good luck man
 
Missykins said:
Why is NA not the answer for you? What have your experiences been?
Click to expand...

Because NA is a cult of sobriety-nazis and should be avoided like the plague. Unless you enjoy long winded vocal blog entries by the addicts of your area. Just a thought.
 
lol thats really funny.... i really dont like NA cuz sometimes sitting through an entire NA or AA meeting makes me want to scream/ beat my head against the wall... another thing that really turns me off is i have seen people completely lose thier personalities to the program and also i still want to drink and party which i dont really have a problem w for me its basically iv which is terrible...which includes any recreational opiate use because to me it would be a waste any other way... and everything else which i am ok with for instance drinking and going out like a normal college kid....
 
subox and methadone are not the problem it's what the drugs do to ones life is the issue. suboxone and methadone allows you the time to re adjust or even break a pending reoccurring relapse before it takes hold and turn your life completely upside down.but it can also be that safety net that you may need to give yourself that momentary light bulb moment of there is only two ways about heroin six foot under or a six foot cell lmao. don't give suboxone and methadone the same taboo as heroin it's what the drug dealers want. studies have shown naltraxone,rapid detox and even rehab have a very low success rate because it doesnt allow the addicts ''us'' to deal with one issue at a time instead bombards you to deal with both your life and your addiction inevitably stressing you out enough to relapse. also without the hectic lifestyle of hustling and scoring hustling and scoring hustling and scoring your life suddenly has enough time to learn to deal with your issues

written by es dad
 
g0d00 said:
Because NA is a cult of sobriety-nazis and should be avoided like the plague. Unless you enjoy long winded vocal blog entries by the addicts of your area. Just a thought.
Click to expand...

You're certainly entitled to your opinion (as I am entitled to disagree with it) but whatever
"program" you're currently working ain't working so what's your plan?
 
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