Hello bluelighters,
First of all I hope I'm posting this in the right forum. If not, mods please move it because I want to keep coming back to this thread for support and the Bluelight community is the best place to go for this kind of support. I've been a small time heroin addict for the better part of 2 years. It hasn't been TOO consistent, for I've been a part of a suboxone clinics and a few months ago was regularly attending meetings. I have a few tricks up my sleeve for going through opiate withdrawal that make it mostly painless. I'm a strong believer in the loperamide HCL detox method (immodium) and have gotten off of heroin on multiple occasions using it. I do NOT plan on going cold turkey because I have a job and am a very weak person when it comes to the pain of withdrawal. My problem lately is I live alone and have moved away from friends and family so my biggest trigger for using is being depressed and alone. I also witnessed a terrible tragedy and lost my girlfriend of 4 years to a car accident and she basically died right in front of me so that alone makes it extremely hard to get sober mentally. It seems that the only thing that could get me clean at this point of my life is running out of money which tends to happen every week. I get a paycheck, I buy dope, I don't conserve it, therefor I end up going through a vicious cycle of blowing all my money on dope and pawning all of my valuable items to get through the week... until I once again get my very small paycheck and repeat the cycle of abusing heroin. Taking large amounts of loperamide to get me through the 3 or 4 days of having no money has been working.. it's just that I know in the back of my head I will get paid again and will continue to use. Getting clean wasn't a problem when i lived near my family and friends because I wasn't so lonely and dope was harder to get a hold of than it is now. I've been getting very down on myself because this time I REALLY feel like I'm not going to go back to a sober life and feel like there is no point to being sober because it makes me so unhappy. The absolute worst part is waking up in the morning. As soon as I open my eyes I get what feels like a huge punch in the face of anxiety and reality and I usually grab my phone and call my dealer right away and go score. Once I use (usually 2 bags) I realize right away that I hardly get high anymore and it makes me feel kind of sick and I spend the whole day throwing up laying in my bed on the computer and I get this thing where my eyes cross and everything gets blurry because of the heroin so I can't focus and end up sleeping the day away. This results in always feeling depressed and having a huge headache and feeling sick I'm so tired of this lifestyle and always tell myself I'm going to get clean.. but it's not until about 12 hours after my last shot I start fiending for another bag. It feels like I have split personality. The angel and the devil on my shoulders are always fighting......... SOOOOOOOOOOO
What I want to do is make a schedule for myself. A detox schedule/method. I have the loperamide that I will take every day but want to take it in the morning and start tapering immediately. I also plan on buying robitussen liquid gels and taking semi small doses of DXM thats in the gelcaps because I heard it take the edge off both the physical and mental anguish of withdrawal. When I withdrawal I realized I'm frequently dehydrated so I also want to buy gallons of water to stay hydrated. I need help with what foods I should get so that I can force myself to eat (i herad meal replacement shakes work well?) I have about 200 dollars and am willing to go out and spend it all on remedies that will help me get through this week or two of detox. I have the whole week off and work 16 hours saturday and sunday. I also have multivitamins and other assorted vitamins like potassium (restless legs?) fish oil, but I need help with what other vitamins are good for withdrawal! ANYTHINg.. I mean ANYTHING that will help me have an easy withdrawal while I taper down 2-4 mgs of loperamide each day.
As for the SCHEDULE part.. I'm going to start each day by waking up and lifting weights and exercising. I've been lifting weights daily for 3 months so I'm already in the habit of it.. and it has helped me detox before because it puts me in a good state of mind for hours afterwards and also helps with the muscle aches and restless body. I have tons of TV shows to watch on netflix to kill time... but I'm also looking for other activities to make my days go by faster. I get very excited thinking of actually having a detox PLAN as opposed to just waking up taking a lot of immodium in a disorganized fashion because that's when I get bored and go out and use. If I get the right plan/method I WILL delete my contacts phone number and will never call it again. I don't have any access to perscription medications. No benzos of any kind, no clonidine, nothing like that. I have a script to gabapentin which is great for withdrawal in my opinion but I dont think that it's fill up time yet.. so I'll have to do without it. Anything I can buy over the counter. It doesn't even have to be pills or vitamins.. hell, I have a ryhtmic muscle massager that I use on my legs when I have restless legs and thats a key item I use during detox. Stuff like that as well.
i
If anybody can help me I would be so happy. It might just mean you saved a persons life
and that person is me. The thing that inspired me to do this is I was watching my absolute favorite movie "trainspotting" the other day and was very interested in "the sick boy method" of course I don't need three buckets for urine, throw up, or feces because I don't vomit during withdrawal and controlling my bowel movements isn't an issue especially with all the loperamide. There were things in the "sick boy method" that i thought were interested such as the pornography, the television, and certain things.
So please give me some advice on things to buy, activities to do, maybe a written out schedule that worked for you? pills, vitamins, food, beverages. Anything helps. THANKS!
First of all I hope I'm posting this in the right forum. If not, mods please move it because I want to keep coming back to this thread for support and the Bluelight community is the best place to go for this kind of support. I've been a small time heroin addict for the better part of 2 years. It hasn't been TOO consistent, for I've been a part of a suboxone clinics and a few months ago was regularly attending meetings. I have a few tricks up my sleeve for going through opiate withdrawal that make it mostly painless. I'm a strong believer in the loperamide HCL detox method (immodium) and have gotten off of heroin on multiple occasions using it. I do NOT plan on going cold turkey because I have a job and am a very weak person when it comes to the pain of withdrawal. My problem lately is I live alone and have moved away from friends and family so my biggest trigger for using is being depressed and alone. I also witnessed a terrible tragedy and lost my girlfriend of 4 years to a car accident and she basically died right in front of me so that alone makes it extremely hard to get sober mentally. It seems that the only thing that could get me clean at this point of my life is running out of money which tends to happen every week. I get a paycheck, I buy dope, I don't conserve it, therefor I end up going through a vicious cycle of blowing all my money on dope and pawning all of my valuable items to get through the week... until I once again get my very small paycheck and repeat the cycle of abusing heroin. Taking large amounts of loperamide to get me through the 3 or 4 days of having no money has been working.. it's just that I know in the back of my head I will get paid again and will continue to use. Getting clean wasn't a problem when i lived near my family and friends because I wasn't so lonely and dope was harder to get a hold of than it is now. I've been getting very down on myself because this time I REALLY feel like I'm not going to go back to a sober life and feel like there is no point to being sober because it makes me so unhappy. The absolute worst part is waking up in the morning. As soon as I open my eyes I get what feels like a huge punch in the face of anxiety and reality and I usually grab my phone and call my dealer right away and go score. Once I use (usually 2 bags) I realize right away that I hardly get high anymore and it makes me feel kind of sick and I spend the whole day throwing up laying in my bed on the computer and I get this thing where my eyes cross and everything gets blurry because of the heroin so I can't focus and end up sleeping the day away. This results in always feeling depressed and having a huge headache and feeling sick I'm so tired of this lifestyle and always tell myself I'm going to get clean.. but it's not until about 12 hours after my last shot I start fiending for another bag. It feels like I have split personality. The angel and the devil on my shoulders are always fighting......... SOOOOOOOOOOO
What I want to do is make a schedule for myself. A detox schedule/method. I have the loperamide that I will take every day but want to take it in the morning and start tapering immediately. I also plan on buying robitussen liquid gels and taking semi small doses of DXM thats in the gelcaps because I heard it take the edge off both the physical and mental anguish of withdrawal. When I withdrawal I realized I'm frequently dehydrated so I also want to buy gallons of water to stay hydrated. I need help with what foods I should get so that I can force myself to eat (i herad meal replacement shakes work well?) I have about 200 dollars and am willing to go out and spend it all on remedies that will help me get through this week or two of detox. I have the whole week off and work 16 hours saturday and sunday. I also have multivitamins and other assorted vitamins like potassium (restless legs?) fish oil, but I need help with what other vitamins are good for withdrawal! ANYTHINg.. I mean ANYTHING that will help me have an easy withdrawal while I taper down 2-4 mgs of loperamide each day.
As for the SCHEDULE part.. I'm going to start each day by waking up and lifting weights and exercising. I've been lifting weights daily for 3 months so I'm already in the habit of it.. and it has helped me detox before because it puts me in a good state of mind for hours afterwards and also helps with the muscle aches and restless body. I have tons of TV shows to watch on netflix to kill time... but I'm also looking for other activities to make my days go by faster. I get very excited thinking of actually having a detox PLAN as opposed to just waking up taking a lot of immodium in a disorganized fashion because that's when I get bored and go out and use. If I get the right plan/method I WILL delete my contacts phone number and will never call it again. I don't have any access to perscription medications. No benzos of any kind, no clonidine, nothing like that. I have a script to gabapentin which is great for withdrawal in my opinion but I dont think that it's fill up time yet.. so I'll have to do without it. Anything I can buy over the counter. It doesn't even have to be pills or vitamins.. hell, I have a ryhtmic muscle massager that I use on my legs when I have restless legs and thats a key item I use during detox. Stuff like that as well.
i
If anybody can help me I would be so happy. It might just mean you saved a persons life
and that person is me. The thing that inspired me to do this is I was watching my absolute favorite movie "trainspotting" the other day and was very interested in "the sick boy method" of course I don't need three buckets for urine, throw up, or feces because I don't vomit during withdrawal and controlling my bowel movements isn't an issue especially with all the loperamide. There were things in the "sick boy method" that i thought were interested such as the pornography, the television, and certain things. So please give me some advice on things to buy, activities to do, maybe a written out schedule that worked for you? pills, vitamins, food, beverages. Anything helps. THANKS!
