Mental Health Nearly recovered from 5 year opiate addiction.

[konanwarrior]

Hi there everyone, I just got to say, what a great forum.
Anyhow, I started off on a prescription from my doctor of dihydrocodeine df118's 30mg, and the first time i took the correct dosage, and my anxiety disappeared. It was as if i felt like 'everybody else'.
Soon I was upping my dosage, and over the course of around two years it got to the stage of me taking 30-40 tablets daily.
Obviously I was buying on the street to top up my doctors dosage, and If Df1118's werent available, it was either morphine, or on the bad days, heroin.
Luckily, I never got caught by the pin and can count on my hands the amount of times I have administered via that route.
I have been tapering on methadone and am now down to 8mg daily, and my key worker said within 6ish weeks I should be opiate free!
I really can't wait to get off this drug, but am scared I am going to feel how I did before and the cycle will start all over again .
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and reply, Konan.

 

[herbavore]

What did the doctor originally prescribe that for?

It is a very healthy fear that you have about what comes next. My advice would be to get as much support lined up as you can so that rather than a fear (which can feel unmanageable), it becomes a challenge (and therefore manageable with strategies). The worst thing I think people do is to simply expect to "feel better" when they are actually going to be confronting in a very raw way what is making them suffer in the first place. That is where strategy comes in. Line up support, from meetings and groups to individual therapy if you think that will help. Enroll in activities that interest you. Push out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to new activities and new kinds of relationships. Focus on giving more than receiving and the rewards will amaze you.

Good luck and I look forward to hearing how it goes in the next few weeks and beyond.

 

[konanwarrior]

Thank you for your reply herbavore, I could really do with some people to talk to at the moment who have been through similar situations.
My Fiance and parents are great, but they have never been 'there' so to speak.
I was originally prescribed them for cluster headaches, which I would never ever wish on any one, but they are now controlled.
I just wish I was never prescribed the painkillers as the beta blockers i was prescribed after worked so i did not need them!
Thank you all, I need to talk during this time.

 

[SkagKush]

hey konanwarrior...

thanks for bringing your concern to TDS... I get the feeling when you say that your fiance and parents are great, but have never been 'there", that you really feel misunderstood? If this is the case, the therapy or counselling that herb suggested sounds like a great idea.

i also want to say, so many of us here on BL started off with a prescription for something honest, and it blew up out of control. Myself included, so i undertand what your going through.

 

[Pagey]

Hey, congrats on your decision to get clean! That's a big step in and of itself, especially since it sounds like it's going so well

As SkagKush said, a lot of us got started on drugs because of legit prescriptions. I was prescribed tetrazepam, alprazolam and oxycodone for a neck injury and that's what got me into benzos and opiates. I realized I was really getting screwed over (particularly by the benzos at the time) and decided to quit all of those. Not gonna lie, it sucked and it hurt like hell, but honestly, you learn to live with it. I mean about a year ago I could barely function or open my eyes because it felt so excruciating, hence all the meds, but I've gotten so used to living with it by now that I barely ever think about it anymore. I'd much rather that then go back to benzo hell tbh.
Maybe you could see a physiotherapist to work on your headaches? That's helped for me in the past.