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Near suicidal over bad health

mabzie55

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 16, 2014
Messages
485
Location
Michigan
Basically I am sick. All. The. Fucking. Time.

Sinus infection, sinus infection, pneumonia, sinus infection, bronchitis, sinus infection.
And that's just the past two months.

I have got sick more often than the average person my whole life, but lately it has got to the point where I can truly not function normally.
Had to drop this semester from not being able to attend class, feel way too shitty to look for a job, have a social life or anything.

I started having suicidal thoughts about a week ago when I contracted another infection after 3 whole days of feeling well.

I just fuckin give up-- this is no way to live anyway.
I'm absolutely at my wit's end.

It's always a sinus or respiratory infection.

I eat a pretty good diet, I get lots of exercise (or at least I did before this BS started)
I smoke cigarettes and am on bupe.
I've cut down my smoking by like 90%, but it has made 0 difference.

I go to the doctor, get antibiotics, eventually feel better, but once those antibiotics are out... Well, I got a week at most of feeling good.
It's got to the point where I'm afraid to leave my house, but of course I have to and eventually run into a sick person somewhere and catch it.

Sometimes my body will fight it off but usually I need antibiotics.

Now, HAS ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCED THIS?

Idk if the bupe is lowering my immune system or what. I just don't get it. I've been on bupe + smoking cigs for years and didn't have this problem.

The only thing that happened around the time this started was I quit an 9+ year pot smoking habit.

I have allergies but I don't think that's the cause, just something that exacerbates the problem.

I'm making an appointment with a sinus specialist to see if there are polyps or something.... So we'll see. I just am completely hopeless at this point.

Literally so sick of being sick I just want to end it.

So if anyone has experienced something similar, please let me know what's up, treatment, anything.
If you are a medical professional I would love your opinion.

If you're just gonna say "take vitamin C" then fuck off.

Help me obi wan kanobe, you're my only hope.

P.S. I want to add that I've been recently tested for HIV, Hep, and all of those other STIs as well as a bunch of non-sexual diseases--- negative on all.

I don't think my doctor knows what's wrong with me either, which is concerning.
 
I went through a period of being sick all the time. I got antibiotic after antibiotic... Thinking I had a sinus infection. All they did was make the problem worse, because my issue was actually food/substance allergies, and antibiotics can make those worse, because they destroy your natural immune system, or throw it off whack.

I eventually discovered the cause as allergies, after years of hell.

I don't know if that is your case, but the deal with taking antibiotics then whatever it is returning right away makes me wonder.

Do you take probiotics?

I recently came down with a flu-like illness, about a month after having risky sex. I need to get tested for HIV, but during the depth of this 'flu', I was convinced that's what I have. And I decided that I'm ready to die. If it is the case that I have HIV, I may kill myself. It was even in some way a relieving thought, in that depth of how bad I felt, to be on my way out. To have a definite death coming if I stop fighting. To be done with the bullshit. To not have to worry about losing my teeth... Retirement which won't exist, my restrictions in life from other illness.

At any rate, I hope you figure something out.

One thing I do like to recommend, is fasting. Stop eating. Only drink water. Do this for at least a day to see if any symptoms subside. If they do, you likely have an allergy to something you are eating. Or sensitivity. Do you crave any particular foods?

I guess it could be that you are literally sick (viral or bacterial), but it seems unlikely. Then again, it is that season.
 
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I had severe sinus infections fairly close together a few years ago, three times. Only time in my life I've had sinus infections. I went into research mode. I discovered a case in pub med of a woman who had recurrent sinus infections was treated with surgeries and all kinds of treatments to no avail. The sinus infections resolved when she discontinued zolpidem (Ambien). My sinus infections started after my beginning Ambien. I stopped taking Ambien never had one since. Anecdotal, with some anecdotal case studies in medical literature, thought it worth mentioning though.

Someone asked me years ago if there was anything he could do about his tendency to get respiratory infections many times a year. I had read recently that L-cysteine raised lung immunity and was anti-mucolytic. For over a decade I got thanks from that guy because he said after he started doing l-cysteine he never had another cold or case of bronchitis. Again, very anecdotal. I think in reality the anti-mucolytic thing is only when its nebulized.

I think the main thing is you or a doctor will find a solution or the situation will resolve on its own. I know it can be hard to have optimism when your sick. I never knew how miserable sinus infections were until I had one. You will get better. If you feel like you might actually hurt yourself get to an ER or call your doctor. Feeling suicidal is an emergency situation when there is a chance you might act on those feelings.
 
See a different doctor, or medical professional.

Or even see an allergist. If you are suicidal see a therapist. Good luck.
 
A guy in Australia had been in charge of CSIRO for 20+ years (Govt funded Science lab) and was being interviewed. Asked if he had any failures he felt bad about and he replied they had tested Zinc Sulphate (US = zinc sulfate) and discovered it nukes the ability of any virus they tested to reproduce itself. The virus can enter a cell but is unable to co-opt the organelles to reproduce.

Dosage is low, maybe 25mcg 3 or 4 times a week, but you might want to take (say) 75 or 100 for a couple of days to kick start the effect.

he was extremely disappointed the official medical groups managed to nuke the idea. 30 years later they brought out a pill that does exactly what zinc does but it was a LOT more expensive than zinc.

In Australia we can get Zinc in the supermarket for about $7 per 100 so pretty much anyone can afford them.

The reason I suggest them is the AB's don't seem to 'stick' which implies it might be virus related rather than bacterial. (AB's don't work with viruses) and zinc sulphate is otherwise harmless so there will be no side effects.
 
I have nasal polyps and used to constantly have a sinus infection. Even with my immune disorder being much worse now, I still don't suffer from the sinus infections like I used to. Meds as well as good sinus hygiene - rinsing my sinuses out with a saline solution has helped.
Every asthma specialist and ENT I have seen recommend saline rinses. Get one of the squeeze bottle types instead of the neti pots.

If you reduce the number of sinus infections you get, you'll probably have fewer infections further through the respiratory tract.
 
A good cheap way to rinse sinus and nasal is as follows:

Half glass of hot water
teaspoon of salt dissolved in it
top up with milk until lukewarm

Take a mouthfull and blow it out your nose. (over a sink obviously :D) The salt and milk prevent the usual painful effect of water up the nose. Repeat until glass is empty.
 
Try to see a doctor and make exams.
Something might show up.
I agree with OP about therapy since your thought of suicide should be taken care of.
All the best, and, good luck!
 
Reishi does wonders for my immune system. I swear by it. There are other medicinal mushrooms that boost the immune system too, like cordyceps. Medicinal mushrooms are *highly effective* herbs. I've tried a lot of them, too.

And like the others are saying, don't kill yourself! Just do more for your health! That may necessitate taking time off and/or drinking shamanic brews. If you're willing to get extreme, might as well do it in that direction instead of just self-violence. That wouldn't be very productive.
 
Second the reishi.

Also try astragalus, usnea, and cottonwood (trichocarpa populus) as long term tonics. Tincture form is best. You can buy them separate and combine.

If none of those work then go straight to radix ginseng (the chinese kind), but make sure you body is clear of infection if you take it.

If you've taken lots of antibiotics you'll need to increase the ferments in your diet... home made sauerkraut is the easiest and cheapest to make, and does the most. You can also try ginger beers which take a bit more work but also help the immune system. Antibiotics basically disable your native immune system and take over all the work. That's why you get sick not long after taking them.

You need to rebuild your body. I hope they've also done bloodwork to rule out things like mono and blood cancers too.
 
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