sorry its been awhile since i posted, got class here in a bit so i didnt qoute everyone i wanted to reply to.
1st its not that i think every girl who likes it rough is a slut, i just feel like she has been treated bad her entire life by men and i never wanted her to feel liike i treat her or think about her the way some men that have a been in her life have, its a tough and difficult thing to explain and honestly i dont have the liberty of going into more detail cuz its not my life story to tell, but point blank im not saying cuz i women likes it rough she is a slut im saying i wanted to do everything in my ability to show her i dont think of her in asuch a way nor would i treat her in such a way,
2nd dont get me wrong, we dont just do missionary slowly and thats it, its just most of the time i guess, i used to think we had an interesting sex life, i mean we almost got caught by 2 young kids whilst trying to fuck in a little prarie replica house at the dallas arboretum, also i have no problem fucking her hard and pulling hair, cant say i do it all the time but i certainly enjoy it when we do, its more like the throwing her around kinda stuff and i dont know i can think of a decent amount of times i treated her the way she liked and i still got off but its mostly that i dont like doing it cuz of the thoughts that go through my mind when im doing it cuz i know what i know, again sorry i cant divulge more details but i cant
3rd it is something im working on, i cant just change overnight. but the other night i blind folded her and kinda tossed her around (but within my comfort zone) and i have found these last couple days because of what has been going on even she wants to be as passionate if not more then me cuz we have been going through some rough patches
i think i have replied to all the sexual aspects of yalls replies but i dont wanna go back and check and i am tryin to finish this so i can get to class
BUT since i tell you fuckers everything i got something else to tell yall, i really dont care what yalls replies are, you will tell me i am a fool and need to get as far away from her as possible but i dont care what is said, I LOVE HER and do not wanna look back and wonder what if and beat myself up because we both coulda done things differently
my girl needs attention, not so much all the time but hates when my attention is elsewhere, TV time is no biggy, other friends, school and work is no biggy to her either, but she feels like she plays 2nd fiddle to BL sometimes, monday night she says im goin to go to bed, so i just said just a second and ill join you, i stayed downstairs to check and see what rock monsters reply to what i said to him the other day was cuz i was legit worried about him, i get upstairs and she flipped out that i wanted to BL instead of cuddling before bed with her, after a heated argument about that i said " maybe i made the wrong choice" this upset her even further, she starts telling me if i made the wrong choice then to get the fuck out and leave, i didnt feel like i made the wrong choice but that was just the first thing i went to in order to say 'damn baby i just need my BL time, because for me its theraputic' we got into the traditional gimme your keys and leave argument but i didnt wanna go because for one i just didnt wanna go i said i wouldsleep on the couch downstairs, we were both drinking and on xanax and she decided she wanted me out so she called this dude who is is crazy about her (although she hates him she just uses him cuz he is always there waiting for her, he's a wierd one also and PS not the guy she cheated on me with so many months ago) but i hate the dude cuz he does what he can to split us up and stuff soo i didnt want him there, she was tryin to get my key soo she was punching me and strangling me, 1st time shes strangled me and she has a pretty decent choke hold, she also like to give me shit about my arrests soo i called the cops soo she would know what it feels like to be arrested, well cops show up and because she is a 110lb female and im a 200lb male the cop cared nothing about me my shirt and shorts were ripped and even in all this i still never laid a hand on her, i start to gve the cop attitude cuz hes being a prick and ends up taking me to jail for public intoxication, even though we were in the apartment until i had to go out and ask him why he cared nothing for my well being. anyways next morning comes and she is remorseful and right there when i get outta jail
we had an amzing day yesterday, and i know i know yall will say jeees this is one dumb motherfucking kid but i dont care i still love her, still want to be with her, she showed me some real legit remorse yesterday, and we are still happily together
im a firm believer in anything worth having is worth fighting for, we are both very stubborn peoples and yea maybe in time this might end up just ebing a learning experience for both of us, but we have a connection, we both saved eachother from certain things, there is a serious bond between us, we are continue to try and make things work she is the love of my life, it kinda sucks that it took something like that but ever since being out since yesterday morning i dont think about her cheating on me the way i had in those previous days, if the thought comes up it still hurts but i dont think about it the way/ or as much as i was. all of our past is in the past and we are gonna try and move forward, i think boht of us are concerned it might not work, but thats onlly human, but both of us also care enough about eachother to give it ONE more go, i belive we owe it to the amazing connection we have as 2 people to give it one more shot
sorry i have filled the sociasl up with my dramma the last couple weeks maybe even months but yall are my sounding board, yall are my therapy
I love you guys too, just not as much as her
SORRY SKILLZ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART
That's some heavy stuff and automatically makes me think of the rhianna and eminem song 'love the way you lie'.