Nakedness

[PoetessAurora]

Naked
I feel naked
Exposed
I need to recompose
Take my hand
Lead me
Scream commands
Breed me
Caress my bare skin
Swirls, spirals
Fingertips
Lips
Hips
Love in it's finest hour
Sweet
Passionate
So rich with power
Lust
Affection
Wants
Needs
It all boils down to greed
Who gives and who receives
I am a lover not a hater
I am a hater not a lover
Hate me
Love me not
Kiss deep into my soul
Curse the meaning of life
The meaning of life is to spawn
Raise the spawn
Then die when your time comes
Are you ready to fulfill your duty
I am a heartless bitch
I am a user
Feel the love of my cold heart

 

[Cat Again]

i enjoyed reading this. it seems to me you got your point across pretty well. the only problem i had with this peice was the last line which sounded a bit cliche, other than that good job

 

[PoetessAurora]

How is it cliche? I can alter if need be.

 

[Cat Again]

do not change it for my sake. if it expresses what you are trying to say leave it as is. its a good poem i enjoyeed reading it.

 

[Artemis019]

I like it the way it is myself. its stark and cold, just like the lines. very effective. good job!

~E Rae

 

[PoetessAurora]

I wrote this poem when I was 14. I had just gotten out of a rocky relationship with at 17 year old who was very possessive of me. Relationship isn't a good word. How about mutral attraction. Anyway, I wanted a close friend of mine for about 4 months and he was really indirect with me.

The poem is about my wants and needs at the time and how I wanted someone to love me and direct me out of my meaningless state. I felt bad for not having loved guy one and how I used him.

 

[Rollingrrl]

I like it very much as well. Its both sad and angry at the same time. passionate and cold hearted. it touches on a few things in my own past as well. good work sweetie!

~Shelly~