They informed me that there would soon be a judicial meeting.That night I was VERY depressed, so I went to the college campus that my ex boyfriend and my some of my friends went to. I got more drunk than I had ever been in my life. I drank 12 shot in 1 or 2 hours, that’s a lot for 110 pds (at the time) girl. I was sick 3 times and blacked out that night. Thank goodness Ryan (my ex, who I was still friends with) was there to take care of me. I will forever owe him. It was my first college experience, without even being enrolled.
Later I got a call from the Presiding Overseeer he asked me to come and meet him and 2 other elders. I had really thought about it. I had even said a prayer to Jehovah for his forgiveness and guidance. I dresses up unlike the 1st meeting and took my Bible, unlike the first time. I showed I was sorry, and I understand why we have these rules. The brothers talked to me for over an hour, eventually they asked me to go outside auditorium while they talked it over. Not soon after they asked me to come and answer a question. They asked if I would give up my relationship with the “worldly” guy I was seeing. I thought about how much I love my ex; I said I didn't think I could. I knew that sealed it. They sent me back out, they spent a lot of time talking, I could hear them but not what they are saying. All I heard, was them say a prayer to Jehovah God before they started and I thought I heard one of the brothers say it was close, like they couldn't decide. Then they called me back in, I knew by the tone the brother used when he called me back in that it wasn't good. He sounded sad. They told me they had decided to disfellows me because I will not discontinue my relationship with this person so they feel that the fornication will continue. Man that was depressing. I didn't say anything while they went through the rest of the stuff, already knowing that it wasn't worth pleading my case to them about it. I just nodded, they dismissed me, I said thank you and left, knowing that, that maybe be the last time I walk out of those Kingdom Hall doors. I felt betrayed by the people I trusted to have my best interest in mind. I was repentant and cooperative or I wouldn’t have shown up all put together and with my Bible to read out on and confessed to my sins. I really wanted to stay in the congregation but didn’t feel that I was strong enough willed to terminate it right away. I think I said that I wasn’t “ready to end it AT THAT MOMENT”, which to me implied that I would be at some point. I really was asking for their guidance and help to make it through all this mess but no, they decided I was a lost cause.
Later, I started the relationship with Ryan (my ex and now ex-fiancé again, sometimes I just doesn’t work. But we were together for like 2 more years) again, it’s was the best
thing that has happened to me, a lot better than the situation I was within the Jehovah’s Witnesses! He is far more attentive than he was before. I started college spring 2006 and was very excited to leave home and also I get to be closer to him at the time. Plus have theopportunity to actually go to college and have the possibility of having an actual career that I might like and make a difference in (psychology). My mother was very happy with this choice.
I had to look for a new job so that I no longer had to interact with witnesses at all, since they can’t really talk to me. I guess they can as little as possible if I had to talk to them to for them you kind of need to. Plus I needed more hours and more money since I wasn’t out in field service anymore. Seeing that I didn’t appeal I am now disfellowshiped and enjoying it. I NEVER want to be part of that cult again. I’ve learned so much outside that they never told me. And now things are easier at times. All in all, life is OK.
And of course I’m not with Ryan anymore. He is my ex fiancé. I have had several relationships, enjoying being able to date. Have transferred colleges and moved back home. I’ve had many jobs as well. Things always seems to be changing. But now I am no longer concerned with religion and what comes after we die. Personally I think many people get wrapped up like I did when I was a JW, worrying and planning for what comes after this life that they don’t spend enough time living this one. What happens if there is nothing after this? You will have wasted your only chance for life and happiness. I try to live life to the fullest and try to be a good person and I figure that it good enough for me. I don’t follow any religion at all. I have become comfortable with “I don’t know” when it comes to all the questions that religious organizations try to explain.
Later I got a call from the Presiding Overseeer he asked me to come and meet him and 2 other elders. I had really thought about it. I had even said a prayer to Jehovah for his forgiveness and guidance. I dresses up unlike the 1st meeting and took my Bible, unlike the first time. I showed I was sorry, and I understand why we have these rules. The brothers talked to me for over an hour, eventually they asked me to go outside auditorium while they talked it over. Not soon after they asked me to come and answer a question. They asked if I would give up my relationship with the “worldly” guy I was seeing. I thought about how much I love my ex; I said I didn't think I could. I knew that sealed it. They sent me back out, they spent a lot of time talking, I could hear them but not what they are saying. All I heard, was them say a prayer to Jehovah God before they started and I thought I heard one of the brothers say it was close, like they couldn't decide. Then they called me back in, I knew by the tone the brother used when he called me back in that it wasn't good. He sounded sad. They told me they had decided to disfellows me because I will not discontinue my relationship with this person so they feel that the fornication will continue. Man that was depressing. I didn't say anything while they went through the rest of the stuff, already knowing that it wasn't worth pleading my case to them about it. I just nodded, they dismissed me, I said thank you and left, knowing that, that maybe be the last time I walk out of those Kingdom Hall doors. I felt betrayed by the people I trusted to have my best interest in mind. I was repentant and cooperative or I wouldn’t have shown up all put together and with my Bible to read out on and confessed to my sins. I really wanted to stay in the congregation but didn’t feel that I was strong enough willed to terminate it right away. I think I said that I wasn’t “ready to end it AT THAT MOMENT”, which to me implied that I would be at some point. I really was asking for their guidance and help to make it through all this mess but no, they decided I was a lost cause.
Later, I started the relationship with Ryan (my ex and now ex-fiancé again, sometimes I just doesn’t work. But we were together for like 2 more years) again, it’s was the best
thing that has happened to me, a lot better than the situation I was within the Jehovah’s Witnesses! He is far more attentive than he was before. I started college spring 2006 and was very excited to leave home and also I get to be closer to him at the time. Plus have theopportunity to actually go to college and have the possibility of having an actual career that I might like and make a difference in (psychology). My mother was very happy with this choice.
I had to look for a new job so that I no longer had to interact with witnesses at all, since they can’t really talk to me. I guess they can as little as possible if I had to talk to them to for them you kind of need to. Plus I needed more hours and more money since I wasn’t out in field service anymore. Seeing that I didn’t appeal I am now disfellowshiped and enjoying it. I NEVER want to be part of that cult again. I’ve learned so much outside that they never told me. And now things are easier at times. All in all, life is OK.
And of course I’m not with Ryan anymore. He is my ex fiancé. I have had several relationships, enjoying being able to date. Have transferred colleges and moved back home. I’ve had many jobs as well. Things always seems to be changing. But now I am no longer concerned with religion and what comes after we die. Personally I think many people get wrapped up like I did when I was a JW, worrying and planning for what comes after this life that they don’t spend enough time living this one. What happens if there is nothing after this? You will have wasted your only chance for life and happiness. I try to live life to the fullest and try to be a good person and I figure that it good enough for me. I don’t follow any religion at all. I have become comfortable with “I don’t know” when it comes to all the questions that religious organizations try to explain.