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My Wife had an Affair....

I believe the kids must be protected at all costs. Be discreet and regardless of how angry you are don't talk bad things about your wife in front of the kids. It's important for the mental health and you don't want to drag them into the adult feelings we can hardly handle. There other good reasons too.

Be the best father you can be. You can always be sad, and say you are. Be honest, present and they'll count the days and hours to see you.

Some of the privileges of seeing your kids not as often as you'd be able to have real quality time with them, great opportunities to get to know them better, and have fun. They are your future and they deserve to be happy.
 
So , I have been where you are at. Married for some years and was cheated on - she was also younger, not that much younger than me. So some things are different about mine and your stories. He told me that he wanted me and he regretted ever doing it , and he says it was a one night stand. Also , he never went into details about what happened between them - but trust me- it hurt like hell anyway. So let me tell you some tips: it's been almost 3 years now. And for at least a year it was always in my mind , all most every day it crossed my mind. I would get in the shower or go to work and it would be there in my thoughts, I just couldn't believe it happened to me, to us. I thought we were happy. So don't believe the bullchit excuses of " it's because I was unhappy and you were neglecting me " or blah blah. The choice was made - and it's not your fault- you can't be the blame of some ones else's mistake. It does get better somewhat with time , I only think about it sometimes now. But I've come to realize that when I do start to remember it , I'm gonna have a bad day. So I've learned not to allow myself to think about it. And everytime there's a normal argument , it always always comes up. Because it hurt so bad. It never completely goes away. And if she ends it with him , she will always try to get in touch with him from time to time - trust me. So , you have to make this choice: no matter how bad it will hurt your family and children , maybe you should break up. But if you decide to try to make it work - then just understand that it will always be a part of you and it you will never be the same again as you were before it happened.
 
I totally agree with you. Specially regarding the choice and what you'll have to live with for a long time.
Don't let this make you bitter. Don't let her mistakes make you feel it's your fault. Be yourself. Be strong.
 
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