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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

My two younger brothers have been smoking meth, need info/advice

QuasiModo

QuasiModo

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
742
Location
CA
I have two younger brothers, one of them 15 one of them 14. This morning I got a call from one of my best friends who told me they had been smoking meth. I knew they had previously tried acid, shrooms and the 15 year old smoked meth a few times when he was 12. I had honestly held some pride over this fact, when I found out my brothers had dropped acid at a younger age than me or my father (who have both used psychedelics extensively) I just thought it was the family tendency towards curiosity showing itself earlier in the next generation. Knowing these drugs to be generally safe I simply advised low doses and to be careful of the setting to avoid letting my parents know, who despite their drug histories would be absolutely heartbroken to know their teenage sons had been using LSD.

Now I am feeling like I did the wrong thing. My 15 year old brother and I talked about it, he says that it "won't happen again" but I know how easy it is for it to happen over and over.. What can I do? I remember my parents trying to make sure I didn't smoke weed was an utter fail, I know for sure if they are bent on using methamphetamine there is nothing I can really do to sway them as the decisions alone are up to them. I have not felt this much trepidation and fear for my brothers future as I am feeling right now.

I don't know what to do. I have seen this drug ruin people and I would be devastated to see that happen to my brothers. I actually just shed tears while writing this, I'm scared to death for them right now. I used a lot of ecstasy and dilaudid at that age and only recently have things returned to a place of normalcy.. Things seem grim.
 
I do think it's true that we can't make people's decisions for them. If you're able to be a positive example then then your brothers may be able to learn from you that way. But I wouldn't hold yourself responsible for whatever choices are made in the end. But yeah it is hard to watch somebody make decisions that appear to be harmful.

I would do my best to keep the communication open with them and provide whatever information or knowledge you have that may be helpful in a non-judgmental way. It's not always easy to find genuinely supportive people while going through difficult times so that can be a great gift to them.
 
+1 ^

Definately keep the communication with them Open, thats rather important.
I dont know really its a hard situation your in there isnt it, you dont want to ruin your relationship towards your brothers do you
 
^agreed. You definately don't want to scare them off or drive them away. Just remind them how much they are cared about and tell them you are there for support in any way. :\
 
I've already told them so long as they discontinue use and I dont see any drastic changes in behavior it will stay between me and them. I am keeping communication as intact as possible but I'm not 100% certain they are being honest with me. It's not clear to me if they have been using or if they have simply experienced it once or twice. Either way I'm afraid for them and I want to do whatever is best for them. I am sincerely praying it doesnt get bad enough to need to tell my parents the situation, my parents are not the best with handling delicate situations. Their reaction to me smoking weed at a young age resulted in me resenting them and not telling them anything so at least I know how NOT to react.
 
I just heard of it this morning over the phone when I have a moment to sit down with them I'll be getting their take on the experience in detail. My youngest brother is really into light gloves, he goes to raves with me and melts faces. He had always said he had no interest in MDMA, he really enjoys himself on 1 tab LSD experiences however.. 9/10 of the raves he has gone to with me he was totally sober aside from the one time he fried with me (did not get his tabs through me, I thought he was sober the whole night but apparently he was on the exact same dose I was on).

That's my other question, to those more experienced with addictive drugs, should I be less lenient with his use of non-harmful substances now that he is playing with neurotoxins? I dont want to become a hypocrite in his eyes as I had always told him the truth about which drugs were harmful, how to use (the right) drugs safely, ect.
 
but come on though,
From the sounds of it, Especially for young ages, they can handle LSD, which is a good sign and an accomplishment i dont think i could handle LSD personally. Ive never tried it.
Just put the point across to them that LSD isnt physically harmful, but meth is.

Point out that they have tried it, but ask why they continue use and explain the neurotoxicity
 
It is not easy to categorize substances as harmful vs. non-harmful. Weed for some can cause mental health issues, whereas another person might use opiates or stimulants once every few months without a problem. So there are a lot of factors involved aside from the substance itself.

Good luck with your discussion :)
 
So I had a minute today to talk to my boys. They both agreed smoking meth together was uncomfortable. My 14 year old brother said he thought about our aunt Bree who used meth for 7 years the entire 24 hours after using. He said he couldnt imagine what it had been like for her to compulsively be in that frame of mind for so long. I stressed to them if they had to do drugs this summer to stick with mushrooms or marijuana. I explained the difference between the ego emboldening effects of stimulants and the ego dissolving effects of psychedelics. They both say they much prefer psychedelics.. I hope they do well this summer, today's conversation was healthy if anything if not constructive to their integrating the experience. I hope when I update again they have made positive decisions.

Thank you for the sound advice.
 
They are so young. It breaks my heart. I first tried meth at 14/15 and thoroughly wish I hadn't... But, at that age sadly no one could discourage me.

I hate to say this... But your brothers have to learn for themselves. It's great they have you to discuss this with, and better that they feel they can trust you enough to talk to you about it and not hide it from you.

I never had an older sibling I could talk to about my drug abuse until I was in my 20's... And I wish i had.
 
Their lucky to have you as a Bro Quasi-Modo. ;)
Id imagine they must look up to you somewhat as an older bro and the fact you are so open with them, to me, gives alot of weight to the fact that they can approach you if things go awry. It seems like the talk went well...here is hoping that they stay on the right track and take your sound advice-looks like it is going that way anyway so fingers crossed.
<3
 
I told them both to call me first if they are ever tempted to use again they both replied "it's not like that". Thus far I know of my youngest brother only having used once, and my older less than 50 times. I don't see any problems arising unless they continue to abuse their psyches in this way. My prayers and my thoughts are with them at this point, what else can I do? Telling anyone else would only stir trouble and lose my relationship with them. I sincerely weep at the thought of my mother ever knowing about this.

Thank you all for the words, I'm sure I would have acted responsibly otherwise but it helps tremendously to hear more than one solid perspective.

For anyone familiar with meth addiction what should I prepare for? I tremble to think it could come to that but if my brothers choose unwisely I want to be ready for whatever might happen. Any pertinent info regarding neurotoxicity, ect would be appreciated.
 
<edited-It is possible to put your point across less aggressively, this actually makes it sound less credible- DO not harass any other posters with this kind of grandiose, agressive attitude in the future or do not post at all-Plz see TDS guidelines>
If it were me, I would make life hell for any one of your younger brothers if they do this shit. set out your network of friends to report back to you if they get into those kinds of drugs.

Last thing you should want if your 15 year old brother and your even younger brother to be a <snip> tweaker.

Marijuana is the only drug you endorse to them. And apparently Mushrooms since you advocated it to a 13 year old for some reason.

If they are doing coke, crack, meth, heroin, painkillers, benzos, etc, you should <snip> These guys are not adults, but young teenagers. Freshmen in HS and younger
 
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When I first heard of it I considered slapping them across the faces, if I see them deteriorate that might end up happening. As it stands they aren't yet "tweakers" in my eyes and I don't think I could bring myself to hurt them physically for imbibing in the same kind of curiosity I was at their age. At this point open lines of communication seem much more important than corporal punishment, thanks though.
 
It is a really tough call Quasi. I guess this calls for both being firm and also keeping the lines of communication open. I think it is also important to not take this too personally; they may not have the same attitude as you did to experimenting. They are a different generation and have their own personalities.
I hope you are not carrying all the responsibility of this on your own shoulders-you are not their parent remember. Just do your best but dont let yourself be alone in dealing with this situation. <3
 
They are part of a local community of drug users, so am I. Around here using meth is as bad as snitching for some people. I am hoping myself and those my age whom they respect will be able to dissuade them.. I will only involve my parents as a last resort as they are already going through a lot. Thank you Asclepius.
 
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