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My trip down that dark path
Old Yesterday, 07:51 #1
Studio
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My trip down that dark path
I am not really sure how to begin with this... I am an addict. I had always thought that "it couldn't happen to me". Let's take a step back about 10 months when I would take the occasional lortab 10/325 and totally melt while laying in the bed. Sounded fun, was fun! I loved it. Ironically due to a back injury and rapid onset osteoarthritis I have made my way up the ladder to oxycontin.
I love it not only for the pain relief but also the euphoria. Soon enough taking the tabs orally wasn't enough and I lost patience waiting for relief. I began railing oxycontin for the almost instant relief and exponentially higher euphoric high. I never thought the demon would grab a hold of me. As I sit here today and type this I am going through a massive detox because of my own idiocy. I use upwards of 300mg on a bad day and roughly 120mg on a "good" day.
I didn't come here for sympathy, I admit defeat. The demon called oxycontin has beaten me. I just needed to find a place that I could relate my feelings to others. No one in my personal life understands it or knows how it feels. I just need to know that I am not alone on this dark path.
I don't enjoy it anymore but the pain has kept me too fearful to stop. Maybe I just don't want to stop?! I don't really know where I stand. I hate the pain just as much as I hate the grasp that this drug has on my throat.
Take this ramble as a grain of salt.. I am not sure what I am looking for.. I just want to know that I am not alone
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Old Yesterday, 08:00 #2
n3ophy7e
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Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
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Old Yesterday, 08:12 #3
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The last 8-10 months of my life have been identical to what you described above, But i was started out on Oxycodone/Percocet 10/325 (endo) and 2 months later was switched over to Roxicodone 15mg and was up to 100mg's to 200mg's on a bad day and 90mg's to 120mg's on a good day.
After 6 months of going through my prescription in less than 2 weeks then spending the next 2 weeks in withdrawal i couldn't take it anymore and told myself that when i get my next prescription i'm going to control myself and only take it as directed.. well here i am almost 10 days since i got my prescription filled and have been keeping my word so far, only taking it like it says on the bottle, i can't and wont run out early anymore cause it ruins everything and i miss a lot of work on top of it all, never again (crosses fingers)
By all means.. you are not alone sir, and if you stay strong and put you're mind to it you'll be alright.
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Old Yesterday, 08:13 #4
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Originally Posted by n3ophy7e View Post
Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
Just a reply was great. My current situation will not allow much adjustment in my meds because I was recently laid off (couldn't file for workers comp because I was already too far into the pills before the Dr. came into my life) and I no longer have insurance. At the moment my Dr is just giving me refills (no generic oxycontin.. fml). I am not sure what to ask for in regards to a change in meds. I know there is a good chance I will abuse whatever I am given. I just feel so damn lost. I can't figure out which is worse.. the pain or the pain of addiction.
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Old Yesterday, 08:17 #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by n3ophy7e View Post
Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
Lol, sorry n3ophy7e in my last post i meant to say the post above you not me, you type so dang fast! teach me those skills! haha ;p
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Old Yesterday, 08:17 #6
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I'm in the same boat. I was actually rudely woken up early this morning with sharp abdominal pains due to oxycodone withdrawal. So I immediately got up and did a line. We all feel like there's no hope for us at times, but it's important to step back and realize there is help available if you seek it. Keep in mind there is ALWAYS room for change and improvement.
now if only I could take my own advice..
hang in there bud.
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Old Yesterday, 08:18 #7
Studio
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Originally Posted by BlueberryfishY View Post
The last 8-10 months of my life have been identical to what you described above, But i was started out on Oxycodone/Percocet 10/325 (endo) and 2 months later was switched over to Roxicodone 15mg and was up to 100mg's to 200mg's on a bad day and 90mg's to 120mg's on a good day.
After 6 months of going through my prescription in less than 2 weeks then spending the next 2 weeks in withdrawal i couldn't take it anymore and told myself that when i get my next prescription i'm going to control myself and only take it as directed.. well here i am almost 10 days since i got my prescription filled and have been keeping my word so far, only taking it like it says on the bottle, i can't and wont run out early anymore cause it ruins everything and i miss a lot of work on top of it all, never again (crosses fingers)
By all means.. you are not alone sir, and if you stay strong and put you're mind to it you'll be alright.
Along with what you said, I have tried tapering my dose to lengthen my supply but this month I was only able to afford half the script because of no insurance ($600 for 90 40mg oxycontin). Perhaps there is a more affordable alternative out there for me to try, I just haven't come across it yet. Having someone else understand the pain is making the withdrawls less awful.
I need to find the strength to control the addiction before it ruins my life. I have watched people lose their house, car, life to this shit. Thankfully that is not me yet. I do not want to walk that path.
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Old Yesterday, 08:22 #8
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I'm in the same boat. I was actually rudely woken up early this morning with sharp abdominal pains due to oxycodone withdrawal. So I immediately got up and did a line. We all feel like there's no hope for us at times, but it's important to step back and realize there is help available if you seek it. Keep in mind there is ALWAYS room for change and improvement.
now if only I could take my own advice..
hang in there bud.
I did manage to get my hands on a couple vials of inject able morphine this week. Good thing I hate needles! (fml). In a way I have a back-up plan but in a way I don't. I must have a natural tolerance to morphine because it hardly takes the edge off (usually take a shot before I get to the throwing up stage) but the drop off is amazing. It seems that morphine has no gradual decline but comes to more of a brick wall stop.
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Old Yesterday, 08:38 #9
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I'm there too. Started pain meds after a bad car accident when I was 17 and it just got worse from there. There never seems to be enough and when it runs out it really hurts...probably more than the pain you originally started taking them for (at least IME).
If you are considering treatment to get off of the pain medication I would recommend you staying away from methadone and stay as far away from it as you can. That stuff is the Devil's Reject- I can tell you from personal experience.... I would take the pain of going through pills and having w/ds for days or weeks until I could re-up my supply any day over methadone w/ds. If you are considering it at all I would highly recommend you reading other people's experience with it. I have posted a few things about the agony and the vicious cycle it sucks you in to. I hear that buprenorphine is better, and the w/ds are a little easier but I can't tell you from personal experience.
Good luck and know that you are far from alone in the world of opiates.
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Old Yesterday, 08:47 #10
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I'm there too. Started pain meds after a bad car accident when I was 17 and it just got worse from there. There never seems to be enough and when it runs out it really hurts...probably more than the pain you originally started taking them for (at least IME).
If you are considering treatment to get off of the pain medication I would recommend you staying away from methadone and stay as far away from it as you can. That stuff is the Devil's Reject- I can tell you from personal experience.... I would take the pain of going through pills and having w/ds for days or weeks until I could re-up my supply any day over methadone w/ds. If you are considering it at all I would highly recommend you reading other people's experience with it. I have posted a few things about the agony and the vicious cycle it sucks you in to. I hear that buprenorphine is better, and the w/ds are a little easier but I can't tell you from personal experience.
Good luck and know that you are far from alone in the world of opiates.
The pain for me seems to have finally settled to an 8/10 without the meds. I can't say that I am trying to get clean but rather get a better control of the addiction so that I can bring my suffering to a minimum. I have no intentions of ever taking methadone just because of its high half-life. I know if I got into that like I am with oxycontin I would surely overdose from a dose dump. I think I will make it once I get this demon under control.
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 #11
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No matter how many times I try it, my experience with OC has always been hit or miss. If I chew it or snort it, I find the high will vary from mildly comfortable and sedating, to rushy and uncomfortable, causing anxiety. I found both pods and bupe felt the same way. I've been told I need to do bigger lines, but I'm always afraid of taking too much.
If I get a few 5/325's and take them, I usually feel perfect. I can gently fall into a nod, without feeling overwhelmed. I don't know why I find such a difference between the time-release OC's and the instant release percocet, but I'm the only one who seems to have a massive preference of one over the other.
I had a few 80's earlier in the year, and I would have gladly given them away for a handful of percs.
Apologies if the post is slightly off-topic. Just chatting.
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Old Yesterday, 19:41 #12
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Originally Posted by Studio View Post
The pain for me seems to have finally settled to an 8/10 without the meds. I can't say that I am trying to get clean but rather get a better control of the addiction so that I can bring my suffering to a minimum. I have no intentions of ever taking methadone just because of its high half-life. I know if I got into that like I am with oxycontin I would surely overdose from a dose dump. I think I will make it once I get this demon under control.
If you don't want to get clean than perhaps you can try to take other things to ease the w/ds when you run out like imodium, aleve, & biofreeze (for body aches), and if you can get some prescriptions these are helpful: trazodone (for sleep), and neurontin (for pain- haven't tried this one but I hear it really helps). Good luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyc View Post
No matter how many times I try it, my experience with OC has always been hit or miss. If I chew it or snort it, I find the high will vary from mildly comfortable and sedating, to rushy and uncomfortable, causing anxiety. I found both pods and bupe felt the same way. I've been told I need to do bigger lines, but I'm always afraid of taking too much.
If I get a few 5/325's and take them, I usually feel perfect. I can gently fall into a nod, without feeling overwhelmed. I don't know why I find such a difference between the time-release OC's and the instant release percocet, but I'm the only one who seems to have a massive preference of one over the other.
I had a few 80's earlier in the year, and I would have gladly given them away for a handful of percs.
Apologies if the post is slightly off-topic. Just chatting.
I think it varies widely with people. I know some one who can take the same norcos as me and get wired and energetic but I take them and get the nod. It's sort of like perfume.... it's the same stuff in the bottle but smells different on everyone.
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Old Yesterday, 22:35 #13
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Blessing from my Dr today! Called him and told him what was going on. He called in a script for clonadine 0.1mg tabs until I get my refill (Wednesday). It melted so fast in my mouth that I couldn't even get my water bottle open. Within 10 minutes of taking 1 tab I could feel the blood pressure in my chest drop as the withdrawls faded away. When I get my next refill I am going to really give an honest effort to control the addiction. I know it will not be easy but it seems that I have found the right support group. Thanks thus far everyone
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Old Yesterday, 22:40 #14
Orangutangpsychopa
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What i mean these are mostly logical if know any....denials after and after. Still some.
Don't remember where i was i realized life was just a game.
The more seriously i took things the harder the rules became.
I had no idea what i'd cost my life passed my eyes.
When i found out how little i accomplished all my plans denied.
So as you read this know my friends i'd love to stay with you all.
Please smile when you think of me my body's gone that's all
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak And they'll set me free.
If my heart was still alive i know it would surely break.
And my memories left with you There's nothing more to say.
Moving on is a simple thing what is leaves behind is hard.
I know the sleeping feel no more pain and the living are scarred.
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak And they'll set me free.
So as your read this know my friends i'd love top stay with you all.
Please smile, smile when you think about me my body's gone that's all.
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak and they'll set me free.
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak and they'll set me free.
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Old Yesterday, 23:07 #15
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You know what i did invent(if that's easier to you all) They split from the middle and are mostly denial to rebellious. They use that fucking device and are completely robotic now. But soul goes on. They know youngsters want to rebell but can't. Been repliles too and mammals. Long evolution been since, what it is 13.6 billion years. Been worms first? El means ALL, it's not any spanish or so, damn gray aliens are been robotic quite long.
t's always. Any studied logics? Xor simple minded version "not at all yous can't" and "can't too". Unfortunately aren't afraid of dark matter of shutdown of light and matter but they go then on...unfortunately do. there been few explainers and my english is perfect i did learn it from then as all other things. I'm too nowadays, any want systematic mind. Mostly denial what is used.
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Old Yesterday, 23:21 #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Studio View Post
I am not really sure how to begin with this... I am an addict. I had always thought that "it couldn't happen to me". Let's take a step back about 10 months when I would take the occasional lortab 10/325 and totally melt while laying in the bed. Sounded fun, was fun! I loved it. Ironically due to a back injury and rapid onset osteoarthritis I have made my way up the ladder to oxycontin.
I love it not only for the pain relief but also the euphoria. Soon enough taking the tabs orally wasn't enough and I lost patience waiting for relief. I began railing oxycontin for the almost instant relief and exponentially higher euphoric high. I never thought the demon would grab a hold of me. As I sit here today and type this I am going through a massive detox because of my own idiocy. I use upwards of 300mg on a bad day and roughly 120mg on a "good" day.
I didn't come here for sympathy, I admit defeat. The demon called oxycontin has beaten me. I just needed to find a place that I could relate my feelings to others. No one in my personal life understands it or knows how it feels. I just need to know that I am not alone on this dark path.
I don't enjoy it anymore but the pain has kept me too fearful to stop. Maybe I just don't want to stop?! I don't really know where I stand. I hate the pain just as much as I hate the grasp that this drug has on my throat.
Take this ramble as a grain of salt.. I am not sure what I am looking for.. I just want to know that I am not alone
I'd say can't have em.
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Old Yesterday, 23:55 #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Studio View Post
I am not really sure how to begin with this... I am an addict. I had always thought that "it couldn't happen to me". Let's take a step back about 10 months when I would take the occasional lortab 10/325 and totally melt while laying in the bed. Sounded fun, was fun! I loved it. Ironically due to a back injury and rapid onset osteoarthritis I have made my way up the ladder to oxycontin.
I love it not only for the pain relief but also the euphoria. Soon enough taking the tabs orally wasn't enough and I lost patience waiting for relief. I began railing oxycontin for the almost instant relief and exponentially higher euphoric high. I never thought the demon would grab a hold of me. As I sit here today and type this I am going through a massive detox because of my own idiocy. I use upwards of 300mg on a bad day and roughly 120mg on a "good" day.
I didn't come here for sympathy, I admit defeat. The demon called oxycontin has beaten me. I just needed to find a place that I could relate my feelings to others. No one in my personal life understands it or knows how it feels. I just need to know that I am not alone on this dark path.
I don't enjoy it anymore but the pain has kept me too fearful to stop. Maybe I just don't want to stop?! I don't really know where I stand. I hate the pain just as much as I hate the grasp that this drug has on my throat.
Take this ramble as a grain of salt.. I am not sure what I am looking for.. I just want to know that I am not alone
Maybe 3/2 turns on...? Besides is old english word any if it's english me eat....If partitions it says more me. check it out, it takes conquer then.
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Old Today, 00:51 #18
Orangutangpsychopa
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Originally Posted by n3ophy7e View Post
Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
Mostly won't say help a shit. Try or non. "here are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions. "
What they'll say mostly benzos and alcohol helps. Ask em some say(was it day)..Myself actually tried any opiates but those won't help, alprazolam takes all pain away if it's that, did see one weirdo via cheek scar etc etc...
All no stupor if some needs...that way...ask em. [you know, much more potent on dose/response and no tolerance...non but can if wants]
And actually can quit if wants,no withdrawal if comes to true, not even from years of use...non. Other things then could embarass if can't kick and slap...
Uknow,they tried make fentanyl non-drowsy...All opiates are down-throats ect...then what is it pethidine?
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Old Today, 01:07 #19
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If didn't he/she know alprazolam is opiate-antagonist...Know what i mean. So is Salvia Divinorum but propably very cell toxic. Buprenorphine is too some what kappa.
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My trip down that dark path
Old Yesterday, 07:51 #1
Studio
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My trip down that dark path
I am not really sure how to begin with this... I am an addict. I had always thought that "it couldn't happen to me". Let's take a step back about 10 months when I would take the occasional lortab 10/325 and totally melt while laying in the bed. Sounded fun, was fun! I loved it. Ironically due to a back injury and rapid onset osteoarthritis I have made my way up the ladder to oxycontin.
I love it not only for the pain relief but also the euphoria. Soon enough taking the tabs orally wasn't enough and I lost patience waiting for relief. I began railing oxycontin for the almost instant relief and exponentially higher euphoric high. I never thought the demon would grab a hold of me. As I sit here today and type this I am going through a massive detox because of my own idiocy. I use upwards of 300mg on a bad day and roughly 120mg on a "good" day.
I didn't come here for sympathy, I admit defeat. The demon called oxycontin has beaten me. I just needed to find a place that I could relate my feelings to others. No one in my personal life understands it or knows how it feels. I just need to know that I am not alone on this dark path.
I don't enjoy it anymore but the pain has kept me too fearful to stop. Maybe I just don't want to stop?! I don't really know where I stand. I hate the pain just as much as I hate the grasp that this drug has on my throat.
Take this ramble as a grain of salt.. I am not sure what I am looking for.. I just want to know that I am not alone
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Old Yesterday, 08:00 #2
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Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
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Old Yesterday, 08:12 #3
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The last 8-10 months of my life have been identical to what you described above, But i was started out on Oxycodone/Percocet 10/325 (endo) and 2 months later was switched over to Roxicodone 15mg and was up to 100mg's to 200mg's on a bad day and 90mg's to 120mg's on a good day.
After 6 months of going through my prescription in less than 2 weeks then spending the next 2 weeks in withdrawal i couldn't take it anymore and told myself that when i get my next prescription i'm going to control myself and only take it as directed.. well here i am almost 10 days since i got my prescription filled and have been keeping my word so far, only taking it like it says on the bottle, i can't and wont run out early anymore cause it ruins everything and i miss a lot of work on top of it all, never again (crosses fingers)
By all means.. you are not alone sir, and if you stay strong and put you're mind to it you'll be alright.
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Old Yesterday, 08:13 #4
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Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
Just a reply was great. My current situation will not allow much adjustment in my meds because I was recently laid off (couldn't file for workers comp because I was already too far into the pills before the Dr. came into my life) and I no longer have insurance. At the moment my Dr is just giving me refills (no generic oxycontin.. fml). I am not sure what to ask for in regards to a change in meds. I know there is a good chance I will abuse whatever I am given. I just feel so damn lost. I can't figure out which is worse.. the pain or the pain of addiction.
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Old Yesterday, 08:17 #5
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Originally Posted by n3ophy7e View Post
Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
Lol, sorry n3ophy7e in my last post i meant to say the post above you not me, you type so dang fast! teach me those skills! haha ;p
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Old Yesterday, 08:17 #6
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I'm in the same boat. I was actually rudely woken up early this morning with sharp abdominal pains due to oxycodone withdrawal. So I immediately got up and did a line. We all feel like there's no hope for us at times, but it's important to step back and realize there is help available if you seek it. Keep in mind there is ALWAYS room for change and improvement.
now if only I could take my own advice..
hang in there bud.
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Old Yesterday, 08:18 #7
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The last 8-10 months of my life have been identical to what you described above, But i was started out on Oxycodone/Percocet 10/325 (endo) and 2 months later was switched over to Roxicodone 15mg and was up to 100mg's to 200mg's on a bad day and 90mg's to 120mg's on a good day.
After 6 months of going through my prescription in less than 2 weeks then spending the next 2 weeks in withdrawal i couldn't take it anymore and told myself that when i get my next prescription i'm going to control myself and only take it as directed.. well here i am almost 10 days since i got my prescription filled and have been keeping my word so far, only taking it like it says on the bottle, i can't and wont run out early anymore cause it ruins everything and i miss a lot of work on top of it all, never again (crosses fingers)
By all means.. you are not alone sir, and if you stay strong and put you're mind to it you'll be alright.
Along with what you said, I have tried tapering my dose to lengthen my supply but this month I was only able to afford half the script because of no insurance ($600 for 90 40mg oxycontin). Perhaps there is a more affordable alternative out there for me to try, I just haven't come across it yet. Having someone else understand the pain is making the withdrawls less awful.
I need to find the strength to control the addiction before it ruins my life. I have watched people lose their house, car, life to this shit. Thankfully that is not me yet. I do not want to walk that path.
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Old Yesterday, 08:22 #8
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I'm in the same boat. I was actually rudely woken up early this morning with sharp abdominal pains due to oxycodone withdrawal. So I immediately got up and did a line. We all feel like there's no hope for us at times, but it's important to step back and realize there is help available if you seek it. Keep in mind there is ALWAYS room for change and improvement.
now if only I could take my own advice..
hang in there bud.
I did manage to get my hands on a couple vials of inject able morphine this week. Good thing I hate needles! (fml). In a way I have a back-up plan but in a way I don't. I must have a natural tolerance to morphine because it hardly takes the edge off (usually take a shot before I get to the throwing up stage) but the drop off is amazing. It seems that morphine has no gradual decline but comes to more of a brick wall stop.
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Old Yesterday, 08:38 #9
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I'm there too. Started pain meds after a bad car accident when I was 17 and it just got worse from there. There never seems to be enough and when it runs out it really hurts...probably more than the pain you originally started taking them for (at least IME).
If you are considering treatment to get off of the pain medication I would recommend you staying away from methadone and stay as far away from it as you can. That stuff is the Devil's Reject- I can tell you from personal experience.... I would take the pain of going through pills and having w/ds for days or weeks until I could re-up my supply any day over methadone w/ds. If you are considering it at all I would highly recommend you reading other people's experience with it. I have posted a few things about the agony and the vicious cycle it sucks you in to. I hear that buprenorphine is better, and the w/ds are a little easier but I can't tell you from personal experience.
Good luck and know that you are far from alone in the world of opiates.
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Old Yesterday, 08:47 #10
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I'm there too. Started pain meds after a bad car accident when I was 17 and it just got worse from there. There never seems to be enough and when it runs out it really hurts...probably more than the pain you originally started taking them for (at least IME).
If you are considering treatment to get off of the pain medication I would recommend you staying away from methadone and stay as far away from it as you can. That stuff is the Devil's Reject- I can tell you from personal experience.... I would take the pain of going through pills and having w/ds for days or weeks until I could re-up my supply any day over methadone w/ds. If you are considering it at all I would highly recommend you reading other people's experience with it. I have posted a few things about the agony and the vicious cycle it sucks you in to. I hear that buprenorphine is better, and the w/ds are a little easier but I can't tell you from personal experience.
Good luck and know that you are far from alone in the world of opiates.
The pain for me seems to have finally settled to an 8/10 without the meds. I can't say that I am trying to get clean but rather get a better control of the addiction so that I can bring my suffering to a minimum. I have no intentions of ever taking methadone just because of its high half-life. I know if I got into that like I am with oxycontin I would surely overdose from a dose dump. I think I will make it once I get this demon under control.
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 #11
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No matter how many times I try it, my experience with OC has always been hit or miss. If I chew it or snort it, I find the high will vary from mildly comfortable and sedating, to rushy and uncomfortable, causing anxiety. I found both pods and bupe felt the same way. I've been told I need to do bigger lines, but I'm always afraid of taking too much.
If I get a few 5/325's and take them, I usually feel perfect. I can gently fall into a nod, without feeling overwhelmed. I don't know why I find such a difference between the time-release OC's and the instant release percocet, but I'm the only one who seems to have a massive preference of one over the other.
I had a few 80's earlier in the year, and I would have gladly given them away for a handful of percs.
Apologies if the post is slightly off-topic. Just chatting.
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Old Yesterday, 19:41 #12
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The pain for me seems to have finally settled to an 8/10 without the meds. I can't say that I am trying to get clean but rather get a better control of the addiction so that I can bring my suffering to a minimum. I have no intentions of ever taking methadone just because of its high half-life. I know if I got into that like I am with oxycontin I would surely overdose from a dose dump. I think I will make it once I get this demon under control.
If you don't want to get clean than perhaps you can try to take other things to ease the w/ds when you run out like imodium, aleve, & biofreeze (for body aches), and if you can get some prescriptions these are helpful: trazodone (for sleep), and neurontin (for pain- haven't tried this one but I hear it really helps). Good luck!
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No matter how many times I try it, my experience with OC has always been hit or miss. If I chew it or snort it, I find the high will vary from mildly comfortable and sedating, to rushy and uncomfortable, causing anxiety. I found both pods and bupe felt the same way. I've been told I need to do bigger lines, but I'm always afraid of taking too much.
If I get a few 5/325's and take them, I usually feel perfect. I can gently fall into a nod, without feeling overwhelmed. I don't know why I find such a difference between the time-release OC's and the instant release percocet, but I'm the only one who seems to have a massive preference of one over the other.
I had a few 80's earlier in the year, and I would have gladly given them away for a handful of percs.
Apologies if the post is slightly off-topic. Just chatting.
I think it varies widely with people. I know some one who can take the same norcos as me and get wired and energetic but I take them and get the nod. It's sort of like perfume.... it's the same stuff in the bottle but smells different on everyone.
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Old Yesterday, 22:35 #13
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Blessing from my Dr today! Called him and told him what was going on. He called in a script for clonadine 0.1mg tabs until I get my refill (Wednesday). It melted so fast in my mouth that I couldn't even get my water bottle open. Within 10 minutes of taking 1 tab I could feel the blood pressure in my chest drop as the withdrawls faded away. When I get my next refill I am going to really give an honest effort to control the addiction. I know it will not be easy but it seems that I have found the right support group. Thanks thus far everyone
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Old Yesterday, 22:40 #14
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What i mean these are mostly logical if know any....denials after and after. Still some.
Don't remember where i was i realized life was just a game.
The more seriously i took things the harder the rules became.
I had no idea what i'd cost my life passed my eyes.
When i found out how little i accomplished all my plans denied.
So as you read this know my friends i'd love to stay with you all.
Please smile when you think of me my body's gone that's all
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak And they'll set me free.
If my heart was still alive i know it would surely break.
And my memories left with you There's nothing more to say.
Moving on is a simple thing what is leaves behind is hard.
I know the sleeping feel no more pain and the living are scarred.
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak And they'll set me free.
So as your read this know my friends i'd love top stay with you all.
Please smile, smile when you think about me my body's gone that's all.
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak and they'll set me free.
A tout le monde.
A tout mes amis.
Je vous aime..
Je dois partir.
These are the last words i'll ever speak and they'll set me free.
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Old Yesterday, 23:07 #15
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You know what i did invent(if that's easier to you all) They split from the middle and are mostly denial to rebellious. They use that fucking device and are completely robotic now. But soul goes on. They know youngsters want to rebell but can't. Been repliles too and mammals. Long evolution been since, what it is 13.6 billion years. Been worms first? El means ALL, it's not any spanish or so, damn gray aliens are been robotic quite long.
t's always. Any studied logics? Xor simple minded version "not at all yous can't" and "can't too". Unfortunately aren't afraid of dark matter of shutdown of light and matter but they go then on...unfortunately do. there been few explainers and my english is perfect i did learn it from then as all other things. I'm too nowadays, any want systematic mind. Mostly denial what is used.
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Old Yesterday, 23:21 #16
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I am not really sure how to begin with this... I am an addict. I had always thought that "it couldn't happen to me". Let's take a step back about 10 months when I would take the occasional lortab 10/325 and totally melt while laying in the bed. Sounded fun, was fun! I loved it. Ironically due to a back injury and rapid onset osteoarthritis I have made my way up the ladder to oxycontin.
I love it not only for the pain relief but also the euphoria. Soon enough taking the tabs orally wasn't enough and I lost patience waiting for relief. I began railing oxycontin for the almost instant relief and exponentially higher euphoric high. I never thought the demon would grab a hold of me. As I sit here today and type this I am going through a massive detox because of my own idiocy. I use upwards of 300mg on a bad day and roughly 120mg on a "good" day.
I didn't come here for sympathy, I admit defeat. The demon called oxycontin has beaten me. I just needed to find a place that I could relate my feelings to others. No one in my personal life understands it or knows how it feels. I just need to know that I am not alone on this dark path.
I don't enjoy it anymore but the pain has kept me too fearful to stop. Maybe I just don't want to stop?! I don't really know where I stand. I hate the pain just as much as I hate the grasp that this drug has on my throat.
Take this ramble as a grain of salt.. I am not sure what I am looking for.. I just want to know that I am not alone
I'd say can't have em.
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Old Yesterday, 23:55 #17
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Originally Posted by Studio View Post
I am not really sure how to begin with this... I am an addict. I had always thought that "it couldn't happen to me". Let's take a step back about 10 months when I would take the occasional lortab 10/325 and totally melt while laying in the bed. Sounded fun, was fun! I loved it. Ironically due to a back injury and rapid onset osteoarthritis I have made my way up the ladder to oxycontin.
I love it not only for the pain relief but also the euphoria. Soon enough taking the tabs orally wasn't enough and I lost patience waiting for relief. I began railing oxycontin for the almost instant relief and exponentially higher euphoric high. I never thought the demon would grab a hold of me. As I sit here today and type this I am going through a massive detox because of my own idiocy. I use upwards of 300mg on a bad day and roughly 120mg on a "good" day.
I didn't come here for sympathy, I admit defeat. The demon called oxycontin has beaten me. I just needed to find a place that I could relate my feelings to others. No one in my personal life understands it or knows how it feels. I just need to know that I am not alone on this dark path.
I don't enjoy it anymore but the pain has kept me too fearful to stop. Maybe I just don't want to stop?! I don't really know where I stand. I hate the pain just as much as I hate the grasp that this drug has on my throat.
Take this ramble as a grain of salt.. I am not sure what I am looking for.. I just want to know that I am not alone
Maybe 3/2 turns on...? Besides is old english word any if it's english me eat....If partitions it says more me. check it out, it takes conquer then.
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Old Today, 00:51 #18
Orangutangpsychopa
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Hi Studio, you've come to the right place, you are definitely not alone
There are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? If you're not happy with where you are and if it's causing you more pain and anguish than it's worth, you really need to start getting some help. There are other options out there for you so please don't feel like you're destined to be trapped in this situation forever
Mostly won't say help a shit. Try or non. "here are a lot of people here in The Dark Side who struggle with opiate addiction, and with chronic pain conditions. "
What they'll say mostly benzos and alcohol helps. Ask em some say(was it day)..Myself actually tried any opiates but those won't help, alprazolam takes all pain away if it's that, did see one weirdo via cheek scar etc etc...
All no stupor if some needs...that way...ask em. [you know, much more potent on dose/response and no tolerance...non but can if wants]
And actually can quit if wants,no withdrawal if comes to true, not even from years of use...non. Other things then could embarass if can't kick and slap...
Uknow,they tried make fentanyl non-drowsy...All opiates are down-throats ect...then what is it pethidine?
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Old Today, 01:07 #19
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If didn't he/she know alprazolam is opiate-antagonist...Know what i mean. So is Salvia Divinorum but propably very cell toxic. Buprenorphine is too some what kappa.
Last edited by Orangutangpsychopa; Today at 01:18..
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