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my take on love

Mellabopper

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2000
Messages
3,811
Location
Boston
::mella hops on the bandwagon of writing stuff about love::
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~
so you ask
what do *I* think of love?
well lets put it this way
when i was younger
i wanted the perfect wedding
the perfect husband
the perfect life
the perfect love
and i thought it could happen
i got older
started dating
realized
relationships fuck you over
make you hurt
sometimes a lot more than they make you feel good
about anything
you can give your love away
and it never gets returned
so why even put up with that shit?
why even try it at all?
yet somehow i still continue to give my heart away
so i was gonna save myself for marriage
demand respect at every turn
but that dream faded away like all others
fuck love
its gone
you think you hopelessly fall for someone
and it always turns out the same
or at least it does for me
i either get rejected
or get hurt
each time it gets a little worse
a little harder to pick myself up again
a little harder to give my heart away the next time
so fuck love
do i think it exists?
yeah it does
i see others so happy
they've found their 'other half'
so where i ask?
where is mine?
cause when i was a little girl
i dreamed of having the perfect life
perfect husband
perfect everything
even perfect love
but now that i've grown up
experienced life
i know
it wont happen
its a lost cause
but even knowing this...
... why do i still try?
Mellabopper
3-21-01
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animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"
"damn the man, save the empire!" - empire records
Corruption is key.
 
*hugs mell*
awww hun, I understand, don't worry, you perfect guy will come, it just takes time.
Please don't lose your dreams...
I'm always here for you if you need talk.
-buzzy
 
Sweetheart, I wish I knew more about you and your tribulations so that I might help to show you a perspective that would truly help your feelings...but not knowing you well enough, all I can say is this:
Perhaps you've been too willing to give your love to whomever came along. Perhaps you've chosen those people poorly. I'm not going to say they were bad people, just maybe not right for you.
When you are looking for something or someone in particular and you actively seek it, you rarely, if ever, find what you need. And just keep this one thing in mind...I didn't find mutual, requited, pure love until I turned 23. Give yourself some time, and give yourself the benefit of no expectations of what you find. Expectations destroy what is truly magical and precious in every interaction between 2 people.
I'll be thinking of you.
smile.gif
 
that you can still try means something...that there is some part of your heart still beating, still yearning for someone to understand perfectly what has been missing.
maybe the way it works, instead of two people being perfect matches to each other, they are even more--on top of that--perfectly matched to soothe each others' heartbreaks, and to make them seem entirely worth the pain
smile.gif
 
A sad poem, and a place in life that I remember way too well. My suggestion is to make a list of qualities that you need a man to have, then don't even DATE people that don't meet those qualities. You will never again find yourself in a relationship with someone disappointing.
Something else, something I discovered, is that sometimes the things we think we value in a potential lover, are really the things about them that end up hurting us over and over. So many of my female friends say they like "bad boys" and then wonder why they get their hearts broken monthly.
Personally I always placed physical beauty way too high on my list. And so I would get these pretty girlfriends that just didn't have the mindset to understand me at all, because I didn't screen them for important things like the ability to hold a conversation with me. Neither of us were capable of meeting the others needs(mostly through inability to communicate) and the relationships always fell apart.
Like Mr. Sticky said, I wish I knew you better, then I could give applicable advice, but hopefully just knowing someone out there cares enough to write a few words to you will help your hurting heart.
Love,
Pure
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Intelligence is not best measured by the answers you have but by the questions that you ask
 
mell, things might be shite right now
but belive me, when youve given up hope
as i had
someone will come along
(or in my case, had been waiting for me for 7 months)
and they will flip your world upside down
even then
know im always here for you
even tho i cant give yah the nookie u might desire
im full of only love for yah darlin
smile.gif

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"you know, art is why i get up in the morning
but my definition ends there
it doesnt seem fair
that i am living for something
that i cant even define"
 
well honestly... when i first wrote this poem it didnt have anything to do with my current situation...
... ironically enough, as i read the words again, they begin to hold true...
... and you know who you are - i'm sorry. i dont know what else to say...
 
Don't be sad. I have given up on love as well. Me and my girlfriend of 1 year have broken up today, and it was probably the best thing to happen. All we ever did was fight. I'm not going to say that I never loved her, because I did, but I don't think that I do anymore. I don't feel that bad about the breakup. I still know how you feel. In all of my past relationships, I was walked all over. This relationship we had was so good at first. It just went to shit. We were too much alike to get along, and we're too stubborn to change. I'm only 20 years old, so I'm not worried about spending my life alone. So don't worry. Choose your lovers wisely, and find someone who is going to give all of their love to you, and not just shamelessly take all of your love and give none in return. I hope you feel better. NO SKAYOHWED (baby talk).
__ __
(*Heart*)
*GIVES MELLA LOVE ==> \love*/ *
\***/
\*/
/
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X
"Get ready for the Headrush"
Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
 
Mell u have a lot of great things to say, and I hope 4 all of us that everyone has an other half, cause when we do find it, it will be true ecstasy.
Until then dont look for love let it find u.
too many women have fuc ked me over.
AND I WAIT...............
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See you there.....
 
i really never know how to react to the sadness i feel/others feel about love not fulfilled/returned, or mutual love that did not have the desired end result...
i am only 18, it is still pretty saddening/frustrating/maddening even that i have never been in love...ever...don't even see the possibility now
BUT...i am filled with love for soooo many things, & we all know that this is true&pure& beautiful and i am not belittling it, but it is NOT an acceptable replacement, it should be an addition...
i tell myslef often that i am ready and it will just find me as many things often due, without expectation or preparation...
but it hasn't happened, and the day will be a very sad one when i lose faith
and mella, please, keep yours, if you have even gotten a glimmer at what kind of happiness mutual love can bring you, even to a heart-wrenching end...hold that, and meditate on it...and expect it again...please.be well
peace&warmth
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***"without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible"f.zappa***
BE AN AGENT OF CHANGE
"one good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain"-marley
"there is a party in my mind, and i hope it never stops, there is a party up there allt he time, we are gonna party till we drop"d.byrne
"if you can WALK you can DANCE, if you can TALK, you can SING"-a saying from zimbabwe
***satori shalom***
 
oh honey... *HUGS*
my heart wrenched while i was reading that.. it makes me sad that i don't talk with you often and that there's probably nothing i can say to make you feel better. but you seem like a lovely person to me and don't forget about that. try and love yourself and improve the parts about yourself you might not like instead of focusing on someone else that probably doesn't even deserve you anyway. that's what i've found to be a good remedy. though much easier said than done.
smile.gif
youre the cutest hun, feel better!
 
just today my sister informed me that her boyfriend of 3 years and her broke up...
... they were the couple i thought would eventually get married, that were perfect.... yeah, funny how things work out like this...
frown.gif
cause their relationship was what i defined pretty much as perfect, and now that that failed, what left?
 
Fizzy... I love your thinking girl. Never reasoned it that way, but it does make sense.
smile.gif

Mell... when my sister and her first husband split, I spent years thinking that a relationship couldn't possibly end any way but badly. Recently I've started to see that worrying about a bad ending can screw up some really beautiful beginnings.
smile.gif
 
You can't define a perfect relationship when observing that relationship from an outside perspective. It's a personal thing, and you just *know.*
As usual, awesome words Mella. Really touches the heart.
smile.gif
 
i understand what your saying about love it does hurt...but hey there's givers and theres recievers or stingy people whatever you wanna call them....you just need to find another giver...and then the love won't just be coming from one end....love takes two... and it does...but if you find someone who is willing to give their heart away too then there's love...u know?
"i think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want anyone to follow me
except maybe you
i could make you happy
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things and i do
to tell you the truth i prefer the worst of u
too bad you already have a better half...
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but your perfect together
so fuck you and your untouchable face
fuck you for existing in the first place
but who am i to be vying for your touch
who am i? i bet you can't even tell me that much"
-ani difranco
"untouchable face"
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sometimes i sing for the war that i fight because every tool is a weapon if you hold it right...
 
*smiles as she knows she is not alone*
Mell you have to remember there is a difference between loveing someone and being in love with someone. I love evrybody but I am yet to expereince being in love with someone.
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Love all and all will love you, If only that were true!
love to all
Spaceangel
*********
 
jesus, mellsy, just what i totally didn't want to read
smile.gif
muah! fight with the boy, and this cuts right to it...i love you anyway. and i miiissss you!
 
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